Yes, Halloween is tomorrow! Are you excited? Ready to get your freak on?
No? Me either….
This year we didn’t even bother to get the Halloween decorations out. Sure, we made a quick trip to the pumpkin patch with our Girl Scout troop a few weekends ago. This is where I paid $12 for a pumpkin. Ironically, that “special pumpkin patch” pumpkin was trucked in and placed there by a farm employee; it wasn’t grown there on the spot like everyone wants to believe. So I guess we know who got “Tricked”, right? Just me and my wallet, that’s all.
Our family did however, want to carve a few pumpkins (so we can at least pretend we care about Halloween). We went ahead and purchased a few more pumpkins at the local grocery store which is a mere 2 minute drive from my house. That 2 minute drive was in comparison to the 30 minute drive I had previously done for my $12 pumpkin. And guess what? The pumpkins at the grocery store were $4 each. Yes, my $4 grocery store pumpkin was the same size as the $12 “farm/pumpkin patch” one.
I know, it is all about the “experience”, right? Everyone wants to drive 30-40 minutes, walk around a muddy field, look at a bunch of dirty pumpkins, carry the dirty pumpkin, buy the pumpkin, overpay for the pumpkin, and then drive back home for another 30-40 minutes.
My daughter is actually into carving pumpkins and turning them into Jack-o-lanterns. I was pretty impressed with her ability to slice and dice up these pumpkins.
Now the pumpkins are carved and ready to be kicked in by some teenager’s shoe on Halloween tomorrow night. We strive to make it a pumpkin smashing good time!
Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice 
Gods, how I feel your pain, Kevin. The part that is most bizarre to me about this whole strange ritual is the nonsensical candy redistribution economy. Everyone goes out and spends $50 on candy, which they intend to give away, all the while sending their own kids off to replenish the hoard by literally asking for candy from strangers, which is of course unheard of the other 364 days of the year. In the end, you replaced 50% of the candy flavors you actually did like with stuff you don’t like, and whatever you don’t eat just because it’s there ends up hardening on the counter until its replaced by the Valentine’s Day influx.
What’s a Halloween Scrooge/Grinch called?
Creative pumpkins!
Gods, how I feel your pain, Kevin. What has always confused me most about this strange ritual is the candy redistribution economy. Everybody in the same community goes out and spends $50 on a a gross stockpile of candy they would never normally eat, nor want their kids to have. They intend to give this candy away, only at the same time, they send their children out to replenish the hoard by literally asking for candy from strangers, which is unheard of the other 364 days of the year. About 50% of the re-supply is candy you don’t like, so whatever you don’t end up mindlessly devouring (just because it’s there) ends up hardening on the counter until it’s replaced (or supplemented) by the Valentine’s Day influx. Meanwhile, Reese’s and friends laugh themselves all the way to the bank, along with your dentist.
What’s a Halloween Scrooge/Grinch called?
Sorry if there was a duplicate comment. Having tech issues on my end…