I may have to give up the News, Facebook, and all incoming messages of Doom and Gloom.

I enjoy comedy shows and how they point out the craziness of today’s current events.  I enjoy reading Facebook posts of my friends as well.   However, I have noticed a trend of people giving up Facebook.  I can understand that.  I may have to give up on Facebook, the news, and my favorite comedy shows.  Perhaps, I will think of only rainbows and unicorns.  Keep myself upbeat.  You know what I’m talking about, right?

The news channels are telling me what is going on out there in the world.  Facebook is full of ranting and raving, hurt feelings, and cat videos.  And folks, it’s not pretty watching and reading all of that.
I should just relax with my family and not watch the news. Sit back and appreciate what I have. It’s a good plan isn’t it?

I’ll even stick to my plan of not talking about my family in my blog posts.  However, I’ll keep you informed of how my cat Mr. Whiskers is doing and how Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) is staying in the stalking business.  Maybe I’ll slip in a good story of how much I appreciate my two blog readers, my wife, and my kids.

I will continue to offer worthless advice. With the name of my blog containing “worthless advice”, it is hopefully oblivious to my two readers that this blog is meant to be funny. I know I fail at being funny, but I try.

Leave your comments below…give me some feedback on what I should be writing about.  It will only take a minute.

Hawaii Life TV Show

Yesterday, I managed to watch another episode of the TV show “Hawaii Life”.  This one involved a former pro surfer who was moving back to Oahu (Hawaii).  Oahu is called the “Gathering Place” island and roughly 85% of the state’s population lives on Oahu.  That is about 850,000 people.  As you can figure out, the State of Hawaii has about 1 million people.  This doesn’t include the tourist population that is coming and going throughout the year.

Now, you might now that my parents still live on the island of Kauai (know as the Garden Isle) and that I lived there for a while in my youth.  I attended Kapa’a High School on Kauai.

When you tell people you went to school in Hawaii, everyone thinks it must have been totally awesome.  Warm weather, the beach, the kick back lifestyle.

As a teenager, it wasn’t as fun as you can imagine.  I’m a haole boy (a Caucasian) so I got picked on.  Part of the problem I was a big kid, not fat mind you, just physically big.  I swam, mountain biked, and lifted weights (me Incredible Hulk, me strong…not really).  I was a pretty good target for local boys that didn’t like haoles.

Not all of my experience on Kauai was bad.  I did have some great friends and did a lot of fun activities.  I was just careful on where I went and who I was hanging out with.  If I had my big Hawaiian friends, I was able to go to some rougher areas.  If I was with my haole friends, we went to the more public beaches.

When I watch the “Hawaii Life” show, I enjoy it.  The show “Hawaii Life” is well done.  It is fun to see sunshine, surf, and the beaches here in the comfort of my Seattle home.  Hawaii is a wonderful place and after watching this type of show I get a bit homesick.  The weather looks wonderful, the beaches look inviting, and the family (buying the house) appears to be very happy.


To combat my feelings of moving back, I quickly watch a few episodes of “Dog the Bounty Hunter”.  Nothing like Dog chasing down some meth head or bail jumper to snap me back into reality and wake me up!  The reality being that Hawaii is like everywhere else.  Sure, you have great weather but you also have drugs and crime, good times and bad times.  Life is what you make of it.

In the meantime, I plan to whine about not living in Hawaii and not buying a house like the folks on “Hawaii Life”.  Boo hoo.  Poor me!  What am I going to do.  Perhaps I should start a donation site in which people (like yourself) could contribute to my family’s move back to Kauai.  What do you think about that?

Why Reality Stars Suck!

You know what really sucks?  Reality Stars that are rude, brash, mean, and spiteful.  Yet, because of this bad behavior they are famous.  I really think it sucks that they make money from it.  Most are untalented, mean, and hateful people. Yet, they appear on talk shows, expanding their “brand”, offering advice to the general public, and launching products in which people buy and further their talentless careers.

I can only hope that that their star flames out, they have bad business advisers and corrupt accountants, and they end up broke and penniless.

I’m known for being sarcastic and blunt but I still enjoy most people.  If someone is nice and not phony, I usually like them.  If they are sarcastic I’ll probably enjoy them more.  I just don’t think you should be mean and cruel to the others on purpose.  Why be mean to someone just for the fun of it?  Is that helping society?

Yes, people are stupid, they annoy me with the dumb things they do but I still like them.  People in general give me vast amounts of material in which to comment and write about.  I should be thanking them for being so stupid!

People don’t think about their personal behavior enough these days.  I’m not going to be rude, I’m not going to treat you bad (no matter how stupid you might be), and I’m not going to be mean to you.

If you are working hard and putting your best foot forward, I’ll support you.

However, I will be honest with you if you are doing something that is stupid or you are going to regret later in life.  I will probably do it in a sarcastic way but that is who I am.  I’m not going to support your bad lifestyle or destructive habits.  I’ll call you out on something that is not true or if you being dangerous.

I want you to think about what you are doing and why you are doing it.  You need to develop your critical thinking skills.  I want you to believe in yourself and do your best.  If it is a doable project, go for it.

Think how great you feel when your project turns out succesful!  And think how you feel when it crashes and burns.  Did you take a chance?  What went wrong?  Why didn’t it work?

As both a Girl Scout Leader and a Boy Scout Leader, I often deal with kids.  I cut down on my sarcastic comments a lot.  These kids are not adults; they don’t know better.  You have to teach them and guide them.  We want these youth programs to be a “safe place to fail”.

Thanks again for reading!

Good Luck on your adventures today!  Put your best foot forward and enjoy your life.  I’m off to torture my readers and children with my sarcastic wit and humor.

Slacking is hard to do!

Recently, Cyndi (my imaginary stalker…remember every “real” blogger has a stalker) commented that I’m not keeping up with my blog as much as I should.  One of the problems I’ve run into is that my power cord to my laptop has died and writing my blog has becoming an insurmountable task.  Now, I have to go down to my office and write on my desktop instead of wasting my life in front of my TV and writing a blog (that no one besides Cyndi reads).

Now, I did have a power cord that work until KOTS (King of the Slackers) got a hold of it.  One day, I was looking at my laptop and noticed that it wasn’t plugged in.  Strange, I thought because I know I plugged it in last night…

One can only guess that my power cord had wandered off to KOTS’ (King of the Slacker’s) bedroom.  Why the hell did it end up there?  KOTS informed me that his power cord doesn’t work anymore.  And why is this my problem, I wondered?  His original power cord doesn’t work so he was using Angie’s laptop power cord.  Now, his second power cord wasn’t working.  So KOTS has gone thru two power cords and is working on destroying my laptop’s power cord.  I see a pattern developing here….

Now, hold on.  KOTS can’t possible possess the ability to ruin things, can he?  Let’s review the evidence….

His original power cord…doesn’t work.

The power cord to Angie’s laptop….doesn’t work.

My laptop power cord…after he used it…doesn’t work.

And to top it off…his cell phone power cord doesn’t work either!  That’s four power cords he has man handled and now they don’t work.  What the hell he does with them is beyond me.  How can you mess up four power cords so that they don’t work?

Yet, KOTS assures me that he’ll buy new power cords for all of us…with what money?  Don’t you need a job to make money to purchase things?

Speaking of the job search…KOTS did manage to work a few days at Labor Ready.  They weren’t full days (baby steps people, baby steps…) yet it was a beginning.  However, KOTS has quickly forgotten that you must actually go to Labor Ready everyday if you want to actually work. 

Now, mind you, today KOTS’ mommy had to drive his sorry (almost) 19 year old ass to the dentist for phase one of his filling in the seven (7) cavities he has.  On Wednesday he’ll do the second appointment to fill in the rest.  Seven cavities!  Has he never heard of a toothbrush?  Where does all the toothpaste I buy go?  What about all the fluoride mouthwash?  Is it just expensive drain cleaner for the bathroom?

This morning, KOTS put up the biggest cry fest you can imagine about going to the dentist.  It was like dealing with a two year old.  He even claimed to have a “job interview” at a sandwich shop at 9 am in the hopes his mommy would cancel the appointment for him.

I think it is time for him to put his big boy pants on and be a tough little man!  I was told to refrain from that type of comment (hmmm, a little bit sarcastic?) when speaking with KOTS.  Only six more years until he turns 25 (that’s the average age boys move out of their mommy and daddy’s home).  Keep in mind that is an average age meaning some poor person (like me) has a kid that lives in the home for longer to bring that average up!

Breaking Bad

I enjoy the AMC show “Breaking Bad”. Who would have thought drug dealing would be so interesting on so many levels? Yes, it is interesting and fascinating (that is a given). Why am I interested and attracted to this show? One of the primary reasons it attracts me is because of the age of Walter White. He is 49, smart, straight and narrow type of kind who is driven to making a fast buck due to his terminal lung cancer (and he hasn’t smoked at all over all these years).

He has no savings to speak of. If he dies, who would take care of his family? There is no money for them to live off of after he is gone. What does he decide to do? Cook meth and sell it!

At first it was kind of comical how Jesse (one of his former students and a drug user) and Walt start cooking on a small level. They make a small amount of money in the drug business but Walt needs so much more money. You enjoy the little problems they encounter at this stage….then it just got so dark and so bad for them.

Now that they are cooking so much meth and having so many problems, you feel for them. You feel the frustration and pain of their growing business operation and you feel bad for them. Can you imagine feeling bad for drug manufacturers? These guys are creating something that kills people, ruins so many lives, and yet you are dragged into their personal lives, their fears, their problems and you feel bad for them.

You want their lives to be ok. Jesse is a total classic drug screw up and Walt is smart man that wasted his talents (and is dying of cancer). Walt’s greatest fear is leaving his family behind with nothing to show for it. You want him to make tons of money so that when he kicks the bucket, his family will be financially well off. He isn’t greedy (to a degree); he just wants a decent nest egg. Who doesn’t worry about providing for their family after they are gone?

Makes you think about your own life, doesn’t it? Makes you wonder what kind of personal hell people go through day after day, and yet they go on. What stress does the grocery store checker have? What about the guy at the gas station in the brand new car? What demons do you hide? Is the glass half empty? Half full? Are you happy go lucky type of person?

Have you become the hardened cold person, just taking each day as it comes, but not moving to change it? Are you so busy you can’t change the world?

What will ever become of Walt?