I sometimes worry myself about how I can even figure this stuff out…..
Ok, maybe you just can’t handle the whole “owing a house or renting an apartment” thing. Maybe you are more suited to living in your car or in a shipping crate by the railroad tracks. Perhaps that is more of your housing style, however, what will you do about showers, laundry, and sleeping arrangements?
Not to worry dear readers, my worthless advice about “How to Be Homeless” will give you all the awesome advice (or perhaps worthless advice) you need to be successful as a homeless person.
In addition, my tips will allow you to save money and become a success in your personal and professional life. Remember, homeless doesn’t mean you are jobless! And homeless doesn’t mean not having a vehicle either! It only means you don’t have a home!
Shall we begin?
Be Clean: Join a 24/7 Fitness Gym with shower facilities that has many locations. A hot shower, free soap and shampoo, free towels, and a shave? And you exercise too? Sign me up!
Dump Your Garbage. Learn where all the public parks are located at. Free garbage service and access to some interesting bathroom options.
Learn where all the Starbucks ae located (Just kidding…there is one on every corner).
Hide right under their Noses: Find Fire Stations or Police Stations to park at. You can certain park your car in the visitor parking lot for a few hours or overnight. Who is going to check?
Hang out in Plain Sight. Park your Honda right at the Honda dealership or Honda Mechanic’s Garage parking lot. One more care isn’t going to be noticed. Or if you have a white van, put a made up delivery company logo on your van…your van is now a delivery van. Park it in the back of a UPS store. You now look like you below there.
Enjoy Food: Not having a home means your food budget is now huge! You can eat out all the time or you can eat healthy salads you make in the backseat. Yum!
Visit relatives/friends during the holidays. Bless them with your presence for two or three nights.
Find locations off the beaten path that offer free power. Invest in a long extension cord from that rest stop bathroom to your car.
Find 24 hour Laundromats. Do laundry, drink beer, and watch TV. Everyone wins here!
Find 24 hour Businesses. You can park in their parking lot and they will never know. People are always coming and going and your car will look like an employee’s car.
Get a Post Office Box for your mail. But ideally, pay everything online. Have auto deposit and auto pay systems set up.
Enjoy these eleven awesome “How to be Homeless Tips!” Remember, you don’t have to let society dictate to you on how to live your life! You can still have a nice car or van, be a clean person, have a good job, and be a productive member of society by using my proven system!
Do you have some awesome advice? Well, keep it to yourself. We want only worthless and sarcastic comments below. Hmm, maybe you can add a few tips…go ahead…comment below and hit the “Like” button too.
Summer is here and a few years back I read about Adult Summer Camps. I didn’t pay much attention to the Adult Summer Camp craze because I was too busy being, you know, a parent. Besides, I’ve done my fair share of camping, backpacking, and attending summer camps as a young Boy Scout and also as a Boy Scout troop leader. Oh, and don’t forget my trips to various Girl Scout camps with my daughter as well. So you can imagine, I’m not too interested in sleeping a musty old cabin eating bad food at the dining hall as an adult because we now have an Adult Summer Camp opportunities abound.
So, you see, the idea of Adult Summer Camp doesn’t really appeal to me. However, I can see that it is a great idea because it already exists and someone is making some money. However, I believed these “summer camps” are called business conventionsand trade shows and held in places like hotels. Usually you have to attend because your job requires you to. Or you could go for pleasure and attend something like Comicon. You know, a place where you can dress up in a costume just like you do on Halloween. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a hobby and hobbies are something you enjoy doing and I strongly encourage you to attend a convention if you want to. I just don’t understand why someone wants to head out to the woods and go back to summer camp. I’d much rather head to a hotel and enjoy the pool and spa services.
Of course, I’m a fool for not cashing in on the Adult Summer Camp craze. I know a number of experts (aka friends) that could assist me in creating a new summer camp. If someone wants to pay me to attend a summer camp, who am I to stop them?
What courses would I offer? The list is endless!
Lawn Mowing and Lawn Care
Complaining & Whining
How to Fail
Drone Flying (and Crashing!)
Home Beer Brewing (and its sister course Beer Drinking)
How to Be Depressed in Your Life without Mental Illness
Boating and Floating
Scotch and Whisky Drinking
Pretty much whatever you can imagine, we could offer it as a course. I could rent some old summer camp, set up some old army tents, get some retired school cook for my mess hall, and we would have our summer camp up and running in no time. Daily Field trips to the local pub for inspiration would be a must. Hands on experience (like painting my house) with a touch of reality (see my highly regarded course “How to Fail”).
I know you are dying to sign up. For only $1499 per week, this summer camp experience can be yours. You can send me cash anytime. I promise to save your spot for you.
Have a great idea for a course? Want to be a part of a winning team (or you need a job for the summer)? Let me know! Frankly, I need all the help I can get.
At the end of June and beginning of July, our Boy Scout Troop headed down to Camp Meriwether located near Tillamook, Oregon. This was our third year there and this was probably my last Boy Scout summer camp. It was a bittersweet trip. Sure, I complain about summer camp and how the kids behave, their lack of good hygiene, and the sleeping conditions (hey, it’s not my comfortable bed at home). Don’t get me started about how far I have to walk to use a shower or flush toilet. But it is Boy Scout camp; not a hotel on Kauai.
This being my final summer camp, I had a pretty mellow attitude. I gave all the scouts and adult leaders (of our troop) custom paracord bracelets (made by one of our scouts) as a gift. I believe most of the scouts liked them. Of course, one of the older scouts took his apart to make a clothesline. So much for my $6 gift lasting forever and bringing fond memories of camp back to him. I found this was a bit annoying considering how long it takes to make the bracelet and that I paid for it.
Of all the times we have gone to Camp Meriwether, we have had some great weather. Cool and comfortable during the evening, not a lot of bugs (due to our campsite location), and not blazing hot during the day. Meanwhile back in the Seattle area, they had record high temperatures and it was uncomfortable. Sometimes, it is nice to get out of town.
Highlights: The scouts had fun building sand castles during the beach party. Some of the scouts and leaders did the Polar Bear swim on Thursday morning. I averaged 22,000 steps per day and didn’t have my daily ice cream thanks to my friend Dan who was on a “camp diet”.
Overall, it was the best summer camp I have been to as a leader. It makes me almost want to go back next summer….almost.
This coming weekend I’m headed out on a 3 Day/30 mile Boy Scout backpacking trip outside of Darrington, WA. We will be hiking the Pilot Ridge Hike picked by one of my senior scouts (who runs cross country and is in great shape). So you can imagine, I’m a little concerned about the least fit members of our backpacking trip. I’ve nicknamed it Anthony’s Death March in his honor.
The weather conditions this coming weekend will be sun and showers on Friday, with mostly clear skies on Saturday and Sunday. I’m not too worried about the weather. I’m more worried about the actual hiking and backpacking. The elevation gain and loss on this hike is quite a bit. The bonus of sleeping outside two nights on the hard ground is also a big draw. Hmm, nice hard ground instead of my soft bed. Gee, I can’t wait.
I’m not too worried about the backpacking part except for my backpack will be much larger than my day pack. You have to carry everything you need for three days. At least it is summer time here so I can carry less of my backup gear. I still carry all of the Ten Essentials…plus #11 Toilet Paper and #12 Duct Tape.
I don’t have a problem hiking. In fact, I did some high elevation hiking in Colorado in July. But backpacking is a lot different than car camping. You don’t have a nice established campsite with easy access to water and flush toilets. Camping in the backcountry is you, out there in the wilderness, making sure you have enough food and water for your entire stay. You have to be prepared. You need a decent shelter, food, water, a water filter/pump, and a handy dandy Hello Kitty LED flashlight.
When I was younger, I loved to do backpacking and camping. I still enjoy being outside hiking; the backpacking part isn’t as appealing as it once was. I’m older and sleeping on the ground just isn’t that enjoyable.
Needless to say, I’m looking forward to doing a backpacking trip with my son. We have gone camping a lot as a family and on numerous Boy Scout camping trips. This will be a fun final trip before he gets his Eagle Scout rank.
Do you have any fun day hikes or backpacking trips planned?
Sorry my dear readers…but I write my blog for fun…it’s not a job. I just check in to see that I have really slacked off in the blog posting schedule. I have no excuse other than the fact that I am lazy. Sure, I could say I have been busy (and I am honestly busy) but if I say I’m lazy, people understand.
My daughter finished up her elementary career in June and will head to the middle school this coming fall. In my last blog post, we were headed off to 6th Grade Camp. Most of the 6th Grade parents were happy to have 6th Grade camp reinstated after a four year absence. Why did 6th grade camp disappear? Four years ago, one of the 6th grade teachers decided she didn’t want to do 6th grade camp anymore. Some of the 5th grade teachers volunteered to take her place but she put up quite the fuss about it. And thus we had four years of no 6th grade camp. She finally moved to another grade level to teach and our new 6th Grade teachers wanted to do camp.
We were able to attend 6th grade camp if we had enough parent volunteers. As you can imagine, I volunteered to do it. I’m lucky because my career is somewhat flexible and I can do volunteer assignments.
I was assigned to a group of 6th Grade boys; which overall wasn’t too bad. Keep in mind, the 80/20 rule of good behavior versus bad behavior applied to my group; most of the kids were good but some didn’t think that they should be good. I feel sorry for them…they now belong to me.
You have to remember, I’m a tad bit sarcastic. If you are a good kid, maybe shy, I’ll be a nice guy. But if you are a little punk, I will shut you down and give you a very good dish of your our own medicine. I will make you question why you bothered to open your mouth in the first place.
Two of my little minions, were a little on the tough side to handle. One got up three times a night to go to the bathroom. I seriously think he had a bed wetting issue. The other one was a follower of the first one. He probably would be fine if he didn’t hang out with the bad seed and have to impress him. Funny, how it all comes down to that “one” kid that is a problem; if we remove him, we remove 80-90% of the problems.
Just like society in general, we have a few people who make it awful for the rest of us.