Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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Yup! You were right…Your Spouse is trying to kill you!


I have som20140316-060511.jpge bad news for you folks that work and help support the family.  It appears that your spouse is trying to kill you.

Shocking?  A bit…but not unexpected, is it?

The news gets worse if you are a woman.

It seems that if you are a working woman, those long hours at your job are more detrimental to your health than to a man’s health.  Does this mean you can’t handle it?  Hardly.  It means your spouse is trying to kill you by making you work!  It also probably means you care a bit more about your job than your lazy husband.  You know he doesn’t care about his job.  He is just worried about what he is having for lunch.  You are the one who has to get up at 5 am, shower, put your make up on, catch the train, walk the remaining half mile to your job, scan in using your keycard, listening to your lame boss, eat lunch at your desk, create a value added spreadsheet, work some more, suffer through yet another meeting, rush to catch the train back, and walk uphill back to your house, and eat some leftover frozen pizza your husband somehow managed to find in the freezer.

And what about your husband?  Eating some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream as he watches that baseball game on TV.  Look at that smug look in his eyes as he takes another heap of ice cream from the bowl into his waiting mouth.  I bet he has a beer on the table too.  You can tell he doesn’t care.

You? You’re different.  You know you rock at your job.  You do the best you can…you care.

Him?  He doesn’t care.  He just wants to talk about sports during his hour long, three martini lunches.  That selfish ass.

He knows that $3 Million Dollar life insurance policy is on your head and he is planning to get his hands on that money one way or another.

Watch out for that harmless vacation to Kauai.  You never know what hiking trail he plans to take you on.

Hold on now…what if you are a man?

What about it?  You know your’e dead inside already.  Your spouse is just helping you slide down the final few feet to your doom.  It’s perfectly ok; you were meant to be a clog in the machine.  Just sit back and enjoy that bowl of ice cream, everything will be just fine.

Source: MSN Health

 

 

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2 responses to “Yup! You were right…Your Spouse is trying to kill you!

  1. The Cutter June 17, 2016 at 7:52 am

    We all gotta go sometime. Might as well be at the hands of someone we love.

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