Category: Holidays

Back to School and a Ruined Labor Day Weekend

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Here in Washington State, our school kids don’t go back to school until the last week of August or the first week of September. In fact, my kids went back to school on August 28. In comparison, the Seattle School District started yesterday September 3, 2014. This makes a heck of a lot more sense than starting August 28, going to school for two days, and then having Labor Day weekend off. It puts a bitter taste on the last week of August and Labor Day. You can’t milk summer out for a bit longer. Instead, you must think of getting your kids back in time for starting school on Thursday before Labor Day weekend.

It isn’t like anything is done the first two days of school when you have Labor Day weekend right there. Everyone knows that Thursday and Friday (before the Labor Day weekend) are “throwaway” days of education. You might as well let the kids watch TV because they sure aren’t paying attention to the teachers during those two days of school.

Labor Day Weekend wasn’t ruined for me. I always have fun. This year instead of heading to Anderson Island for the three day weekend, we went camping at Sun Lakes State Park. It was a good choice because we left the rain behind. Sun Lakes is located on the eastern side of Washington, roughly three hours away from our house. While western Washington might be experiencing rain and misery, the eastern side of the state will have sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. Well, maybe not unicorns and rainbows but you get the idea. The weather is nice. We don’t have lots of rain and huddle under blue tarps. In eastern Washington, we don’t do the “blue tarp” camping made famous on the west side of the state. In eastern Washington, you slap on the sun block (SPF 45) and a big hat

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What lurks beneath the waters of this lake?
What lurks beneath the waters of this lake?

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It's all fun and games until someone falls off the cliffs!
It’s all fun and games until someone falls off the cliffs!

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On the negative side, it was windy in the evenings and the state park was full. Truth be told, it was very windy and miserable in that respect. The first night was bad. The tent was flapping around, keeping both myself and my wife wide awake. You would drift off to sleep, and then a gust of wind would pop up and wake you up. The second night, the wind was just as bad but I wore my ear plugs and I enjoyed the evening a bit more.

Sun Lakes State Park has a few different lakes within the park boundaries. On Sunday, we hiked along the Deep Lake Trail which was about 2 to 2.5 miles round trip. It goes right along the lake and is an easy hike. There is an opportunity to do some cliff diving or jumping off the cliff edge but we didn’t do it this trip. Perhaps next time we can jump off some basalt rock cliffs into the water below, have a scary monster grab us and drag us under.

I did manage to get some swimming in Sun Lake itself with my daughter and her friend. The weather was a bit cloudy, the wind was blowing, and the water was a little colder than I would have preferred. However, it was probably going to be the last swim of summer so I toughed it out. I’m not a little baby (well, I really am but I try to act tough).

My son and I also did a twilight walk where he was almost hit by a bat. Lots of bats on the Park Lake Trail, however I can’t complain about the bats because they keep the bug population down. Go bats!

Overall, the camping trip was a good one. No flat tires, no lost sleeping bags. The drive home wasn’t too bad. I’d go again but probably opt for a RV campsite further and with less wind.

 

Thanks for reading and your comments are always welcome!

Labor Day Weekend – Goodbye Summer and Hello 9 month of Gray Skies!

~ K ~ 1 Comment

As you can tell, Labor Day Weekend is bittersweet for me.  It marks the end of summer for both my children and me.  No more midweek sleepovers for my daughter, no more sleeping in late for my teenage son, no more weekend outdoor parties, no more me staying up late reading novels: it is all gone after this long three day weekend.  Gone like all my hopes and dreams.  Sadly, it is back to reality: We will hold hands, lift our chins high, and head back into the regular schedule of school life.  We will forget all the fun of summer and instead welcome the cool embrace of autumn.

 To be clear, the regular schedule of school life has already started.  The kids went back to school this past Thursday.  I still don’t know why our school district thinks it is a smart idea to go to school for two days, then have the Labor Day.  Do the kids learn anything for the first two days? 

 I even cracked the door to my office, sat at my desk, and did some work as well.  The cat took her usual stop and sat by my keyboard.  Yes, everything is back to the normal school life schedule of our family.

 Fondly, I look back at summer and wonder where the time went.  It seemed like yesterday I was on the steps on the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., taking photographs, and enjoy the sunshine.  Please, take a moment and shed a tear.

 Now, all I have to look forward to is the upcoming schedule of work and nine months of gray skies.  My friends (that live in states that see the sun) always ask: “How can you live in Seattle with all the gray skies and rain?  Don’t you want to kill yourself?”

 Anyone from Seattle has the same answer: “Well, the summers are really nice.”

That’s it.  That is the only good answer.

Well, maybe there is a little more to it than that.  We have mild winters with no real crazy bad snow storms.  We don’t have a huge bug problem like other places.  When it is sunny, it is beautiful around here.  On a clear day, we can even see Mt. Rainier while we are stuck in traffic on southbound Interstate 5.

Side Note: Traffic around here sucks.  It doesn’t matter if it is a rainy day or a nice clear sunny day; some nitwit will crash into another person and cause a 9 mile back up on the interstate.  Nothing says Seattle rocks like crawling along an interstate highway in the rain.

Good bye summer, I’ll miss you!

 As always, I need your comments to make my existence worthwhile.  What are you going to miss most about summer?  Do you have any plans for Labor Day?

Washington D.C. Trip – 2014 – Vacation Mode and Lost Time….

~ K ~ 6 Comments

As always, just hit the “like” button below. Boost my self-esteem while you can.

As you can tell from my posting pattern, I’ve taken the summer off. In Washington State, the kids don’t get out of school until June 19th or 20th so I’m usually still in a work mode when they get out of school. I’m usually trying to finish up a few jobs and I really don’t get my “vacation mode” on until July. This time, July did start and I was out of work mode but not into my “full vacation mode”. I’m in a limbo mode of where I think I can do a billion things, yet in reality my vacation mode will kill all hope of accomplishing any work.

This limbo mode of thought results in me having the misguided notion that I will accomplish more than is really possible. For example, I thought my office would be cleaned by now (it’s not), and my yard projects would be done (they aren’t). I have a whole summer to do things; yet I don’t.

What is a person to do when this happens? Clearly, take a vacation! You need to decompress (as least I do) and get into vacation mode.

This vacation, I took a trip to Washington DC with my 15 year old son Hayden and meet up with my cousin Stephen for four days. That was on the 4th of July and that was a fun way to spend the 4th of July. We did all the memorials; we ended up renting a car only because I had to take a side trip to Charlottesville, VA (home of UVA) to visit a friend and his family. I did notice that people on the East Coast don’t seem to know how to use their blinker on their car when they are going from one lane to another. As you know, my mind reading skills are poor to none. So when you don’t use a turn indictor (your blinker), I get annoyed to say the least.

The weather in DC wasn’t bad at all. Sure, it was hot 93 degrees but the humidity wasn’t bad. Nothing worse than Hawaii and I didn’t feel like I was overheating and about to die. The museums are great and it is easy to get around DC either by subway or walking. We stayed in the Georgetown area and had a Trader Joe’s right by our condo we stayed at. We were also a few blocks from Watergate. Lots of history right at our doorstep.

Watergate
Watergate

I’ve also just finished Netflix’s “House of Cards” with Kevin Spacey. It makes it a little more interesting watching the first season, visiting DC, and then watching the second season upon my return to Seattle.

Personally, I just love the architecture of the East Coast cities and countryside. Compare to Washington State, everything is old. As long as it isn’t falling down on me; I like it. I’m that tourist guy that takes photos of row houses and brownstones. I imagine being a famous novelist and living in them; soaking up the city around me. Then I trip over the uneven sidewalk and reality sets back in.

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Two things I regret is not researching (or remembering certain things about congress, our capital, general US history, etc.) and not going through my blogger/reading list to see who lived in the East Coast. I would have loved to meet some of the bloggers I follow. Oh well, maybe the next trip.

Other sarcastic observations: Women (teenage girls, overweight women, older ladies, sexy stripper types, moms, teenage daughters) seem to wear short “shorts”. In Washington State (where we don’t see the sun), we hardy see the short “shorts”. In fact, we have been having a heat wave for the past four weeks with gorgeous weather (except for two days last week full of rain) so I have been observing no short “shorts” on women like the East Coast.

I also may not hang out in a lot of tourist areas in Seattle. Well, to be honest, I hardy get out of my cul-de-sac and never visit the beaches of Seattle. Yes, we do have beaches here, and lakes, and rivers, and outdoor swimming pools. We just go swimming in the months of July, August, and September.

Anyway, I’ll post more (in a mad dash to get something posted in July 2014) for you in the next few days (or hours).

US Capitol Building
US Capitol Building

4th of July: Let’s blow some stuff up because we are Morons!

~ K ~ 6 Comments

Ahh, Happy 4th of July to all my readers here in America (and the rest of you across the world).  This is the American holiday that we use as an excuse to buy fireworks and blow stuff up all in the name of freedom.  Americans like to buy fireworks, and shoot them off in the false belief that we are being safe.  It is really just an excuse to buy dangerous flying toys and injure ourselves.

As a typical guy, I love explosions just like the next hot blooded male.  Show me a great movie with lots of explosions and no realistic plot, throw in some hot babes and I am all over it.

However, as a fairly intelligent person, real life fireworks scare the crap out of me.  I have no real expert knowledge of fireworks, how they are made, how much gun powder goes into them, etc.  It is out of my range of expertise and I’m OK with that.  I know that they explode and I have a good chance of getting hurt.  That is all the knowledge I need to have to tell me to stay away.

Already this morning, I saw on our local KIRO TV news program (in the Seattle area) we already had someone headed to the hospital because of the homemade fireworks bomb he made.

Now, I enjoy watching the professional fireworks shows but I’m not into lighting fireworks off myself.  Over the years, our family has had the bad luck of fireworks tipping over and shooting right at us.  So it isn’t that the fireworks are dangerous as much as the people lighting them off.  I think my living room is a perfectly safe spot to watch the fireworks and not get blown up by untrained monkeys.

Don’t get me starting with the “safe” fireworks like sparklers.  Who thinks that handing a child a piece of burning metal is a smart thing to do?  Can I see a show of hands, please?  Call me a downer but a sparkler is burning at 2000 degrees F and can burn metal.  Hmmm, seems like a safe toy for a child.  My daughter had the sparks from the sparkler fall on her foot a few years back.  No permanent damage but she now knows the dangers of fireworks.  And don’t I feel like a stupid ass parent?  You bet.

Don’t get me started on sparkler bombs.  Just Bing or Google sparkler bombs and you’ll get tons of videos, how to articles, and step by step instructions to make a dangerous weapon of death.  I watched a few YouTube videos and when you have a lot of questions and most of the answers from the makers are “I don’t know” then you know you are dealing with a bunch of idiots.

I am all for free speech and free knowledge but there are some stupid people out there that don’t need to know how to do this stuff.  They just aren’t smart enough to handle the knowledge and use it in a responsible manner.  (Now if that doesn’t sound like government censorship, I don’t what does!)  However, I think we can all agree that some people just aren’t smart enough to handle some things.  Fireworks just so happens to be one of them.  Give someone just enough knowledge to be dangerous and look what happens.

Perhaps this would be a good time to wish everyone a safe and sane holiday here in America.  I’d give you a warning that you should be safe on the 4th of July but you’d just file it under worthless advice so I’ll skip it today.

And you thought I was a downer…look at this picture!

Where NOT to send your Daughter for Spring Break!

~ K ~ 15 Comments

You know what I love about the internet?  I love those Top Ten (or whatever) Lists and discovering where I’m not going to let my daughter go on Spring Break.  Sure, my little girl is only ten years old but you have to plan ahead if you want to be a good parent.  The last thing you want is your daughter having “daddy issues”, ending up on the stripper pole in some strip club in Las Vegas with her boyfriend T-Dog.  Don’t worry, she is “working her way through school” (mostly likely after you cut off the college tuition after she pulled straight Cs).

This is one of the key reasons why parents should be involved in their child’s life!  Strong role models whether they are male or female need to set the example for kids to learn from.

Regardless, I’m not saying that you should keep your daughter at home like I plan to do.  For one thing, I’m a much better parent than you can ever hope to be and two: you should send your daughter to these places so my son has someone to meet while he is on Spring Break.  I’m kidding of course…..

I present to you the “Trashiest Spring Break Vacation Destinations” according to this link from coedmagazine.com.  As you know, I think research is quite overrated.  My opinion is really the only thing that matters and since I have huge amounts of common sense, research is really a waste of my time.  Besides as an informed reader, you should be doing your own research.  You can’t be a sheep following me all the time (because sheep creep me out).

“Trashiest Spring Break Vacation Destinations”

  1. Las Vegas, NV
  2. South Padre Island, TX
  3. Daytona Beach, FL
  4. Myrtle Beach, SC
  5. Orlando, FL
  6. Lake Havasu, AZ
  7. Miami, FL
  8. Panama City, FL
  9. Key West, FL
  10. Fort Meyers, FL
  11. Tampa, FL
  12. Virginia Beach, VA
  13. Scottsdale, AZ
  14. New Orleans, LA
  15. San Diego, CA

I’m glad to see Florida made seven of the top spots.  I’m even happier that my dear State of Washington didn’t make it.  In reality, who in their right mind would come here for rain and cold weather for spring break?  Washington isn’t a Spring Break destination in the least.  We don’t have nice sunny, warm weather until August and September.  During the summer and fall, Western Washington is a beautiful place to visit.  You can see Mt. Rainier, you can take a trip to the top of the Space Needle and you can enjoy a ferry boat ride across Puget Sound.

Today’s lesson is to keep track of your kids, enjoy the sunny weather while you can, and keep living the fun life you are meant to have!

3 Awesome Tips on How to Cut Down on your Next Vacation Expenses!

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Vacation Tips: How to Cut down on your Vacation Expenses

Family Trips 2011 047Let’s face it folks, vacations are expensive unless you are single or rich.  If you happen to be stuck with a family like me, you know your vacation becomes a folly in the realms of expensive undertakings.  Depending on where you are going and how you are getting there, it costs a pretty penny to take a well deserved vacation.

For example, if you want to fly anywhere and have a family of four, your vacation costs went up four times.  However, lucky for you, I have some easy and practical tips to cut your travel expenses by 45%!

Airline Tickets:

Flying is expensive but is it necessary only for the right family members.  Do your kids really need to fly anywhere?  A simple way to cut down on airfare is to take the plane for you and your spouse and send your kids on a bus or train.  Think how much enjoyable the first few days of your vacation would be without your children fighting or whining,  Bus fare is way cheaper than an airline ticket and your kids would make new friends on the bus.  They could have meet “Ryan the Runaway Teen” and “Butch the Ex-Con” but don’t forget “Smelly Tony from the East Coast” (who doesn’t believe in showers, deodorant, or changing clothes).  You can’t make memories that last (or scar you) for a lifetime if you don’t experience a ride on a bus cross country.

Tip: If you are really worried about your kids being unattended, slip the driver a few extra bucks to look out for them during the trip.  It is still way cheaper than two airline tickets.

And don’t forget the kids will have to return on the bus as well.  Again, you have a few extra quiet days of rest and relaxation while they travel home.

Car Rental/Hotels:

Have you ever noticed that you don’t really spend that much time in your hotel room except to shower and sleep?  But you do spend a lot of time in your rental car, don’t you?  Well, combine the two!  Skip the expensive of a big fancy hotel (or a rat hole one for that matter) and spend the money on a kick ass ride!  You can get that big fancy van which will have plenty of space for sleeping bags, luggage, and the cooler full of drinks and food.  Need a shower…visit the local gas station or state park.  Need a place to park overnight?  Try the city hall parking lot or the local police station parking lot.  Both are safe and secure!

Food:

Eating out on vacation is a totally pain.  No one agrees on anything and the prices are way too high.  A simple breakfast or lunch can cost up to $70!  Darn we mention dinner?  Always eat out at the cheapest, least healthy place for EVERY meal.  After a three or four meals of fast food (or 7-11 food), you’ll notice that your family will quickly decrease their consumption of all food.  Remember less eating equals more savings!

Sometimes you get that one kid with a cast iron stomach that can eat anything.  To make sure they have enough food, have them clear other patron’s tables.  This accomplishes four things: 1) they get a sense of giving back to the community 2) they can eat the leftovers on the tray, 3) it teaches them how to survive when you kick their butts out of the house when they turn 18, and 4) gives them a glimpse of their future careers (this is called On The Job Training).

One final note, your vacation is about you relaxing and doing something fun.  You should really consider taking a vacation with people you really care about.  Think about taking your golfing buddies or a good friend who likes to party as much as you do.  Honestly, taking your spouse or girl/boyfriend is a toss up because of their bad attitude and how they pout when they don’t get their way.  And then there is the matter with your kids: they fight and bicker with each other all the time. Why do you want to bring crap that along on vacation when you hear enough of it at home?

In a future blog, we’ll discuss how to cut down on travel costs by making your bus into a mini Greyhound bus!

Thanks again for reading my blog and hitting the like button below!  And if you aren’t a follower, you should become one.  Most likely it will save your life during a zombie apocalypse.

Teaching Kids about Disappointment and Adversity: What Valentine’s Day is All About!

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Argh, it’s another one of those “holidays” where parents, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. are suppose to buy “gifts” for each other to prove their love to one another.  I view this as an opportunity to teach your kids (and your significant other) about Disappointment and Adversity.

You should know by now that if I talk to you or live with you, that you are pretty special.  This extends to my friends as well.  I’m pretty picky on who I hang out or interact with.  If you are reading this, you are even more special than others.

One of the ways you can teach your kids about Disappointment and Adversity is to NOT give them gifts or cards on Valentine’s Day.

What?  But…but…where’s the love?

You want love?  You want gifts?  Here are the gifts of love you should be giving them: Disappointment and Adversity.

They shouldn’t expect this day to be any more special than any other day.  It isn’t Christmas or their birthday; they shouldn’t get presents.  And according to my friend Mike, if you bought a Valentine’s Day card for your wife (or husband), you spent too much on her (or him).  His wife and he have mutually agreed not to exchange gifts or cards on these kinds of “fake” holidays.  I admire that.  They both get a gold star.

If you shower your kids or significant other with gifts now, you have already set unrealistic standards for them later in life.  You have created the opportunity for them to be disappointed later in life, yet not given them the experience of adversity to overcome their disappointment.

For example: What if you are in a different country and are gone for Valentine’s Day?  If you give your children gifts all the time for every Valentine’s Day, you have already set a standard you must constantly live up to.  Your kids will still expect a gift even when you are gone.  You just gave yourself more work to do.  You have to plan something and that takes work and effort on your part.  And will those kids remember your gift in a week?  Will your husband remember that gift in 24 hours?

No, they won’t.

All of your hard work, planning, and effort for nothing.  Your hard work wasted away in the hands of time.  What did you learn from this experience?

What if you don’t do anything?  You just taught a valuable lesson to our children about Disappointment.  After they cried their eyes out and say their mommy and daddy doesn’t love or care about them, they will be stronger.  Nothing makes your kid tougher than tears streaming down their dirty face, a little disappointment entered into their thought process.  They will learn a great lesson on how to overcome adversity.  How will they learn from this experience?  How will it make them stronger?  How will it toughen them up?

Let’s fast forward to your kid in a relationship with someone they care about.  This person forgets about Valentine’s Day.  Because you were such a “good” parent all these years, your kid (now an adult) goes ballistic because their significant other screwed up Valentine’s Day.  But really…whose fault is it?  As a parent, it is your fault because you chickened out and didn’t introduce Disappointment and Adversity at a young age.  For Pete’s sake, everyone knows that ALL problems stem from “daddy” or “mommy” issues we have as children.  Ask any stripper; they’ll tell you.

Life is all about Disappointment and how to overcome it.  A lesson in Disappointment will also teach your children about Adversity.  Your children will cry but this experience will make them stronger, they will overcome the adversity that they are now experiencing.  This lesson would be better taught to your children at a younger age.  Better to learn a valuable lesson at a younger age than later in life (when it will turn you bitter and just make you a miserable person).

As always, your sarcastic and bitter comments are welcome.  Heck, all of your comments are welcome.

Opening Up those Family Lines of Communication

~ K ~ Leave a comment

My wife asked me the other day, what do I do all day long.  I wanted to tell her the truth that I usually do nothing but watch TV and read blogs, but that isn’t entirely true.  I usually try to think up of ways to amuse other people with my witty commentary and open the lines of communication between family members.  For an example, the other night, we had a post Christmas celebration with some family friends.  Their children are now 22 and 24 and are both males.  One has a serious live in girlfriend and the other one is in his final year of college.

After a fun evening, they were on their way out the door and I saw the After Christmas Sales Ad for Toys R Us.  I asked the older one (with the serious girlfriend) if he wanted to look through it for some good toys.  However, this was a joint ad flyer with Babies R Us as well as the Toys R Us section.  I told him he should take the flyer home, circle a few of the car seats and baby strollers and then leave it out where his mom could find it.  He would depart to his home two and a half hours away.  She would freak out, frantically call and text him numerous times (which he could ignore and chuckle to himself) as he drove home.

See?  Doesn’t that help to open up the lines of communication in the family?

Like I said, I’m a communications expert in family relationships.

The School Holiday Sing Along (or better known as punch to my head would be better than this crap) Holiday Assembly

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I hate singing and I hate Sing-A-Long Caroling style assemblies.  I know that my singing sucks and should be left to people who are either professionals or are really good at it.  I purposely left out the people that enjoy singing because someone might enjoy singing but that means they are most likely just as bad as me.  Just picture Johnny Cash performing at Foslom State Prison.

Every year at our children’s school the last day of school has a “Sing Along” before the Christmas break.  They start an hour before school is dismissed and it is an hour of the worst children’s singing around.  This isn’t a pleasant experience in which you would be listening to the voices of the angels singing your favorite holiday tunes in perfect key.  No, this is every off-key student, teacher, and parent singing to every holiday song the music teacher dragged out five minutes before the concert started.  We have a majority of Christmas songs, a few Jewish songs, and a Kwanzaa song.  Most of the kids don’t know what a Kwanzaa is and they only know Hanukkah because of Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song on Saturday Night Live!

The worst part is listening to them scream the lyrics of the songs instead of singing them.  I might as well be at the zoo listening to the monkeys scream.  At least monkeys shut up from time to time so they can throw their poop and eat.

After about seven years of going to these caroling Concerts, I came in for the last song but managed to trick my daughter into believing I was there the whole time.  She tried to call me out by saying I came in late.  I quickly rattled off some Christmas songs we had “sung” and she was convinced that I was there the whole time.  This year was no different.  She didn’t notice I was in the back 30 minutes after the concert (I use that term loosely) started.  My wife on the other hand was like a rookie at the first day of summer camp and comes in the front left door right where everyone can see her.  She is a little hard to miss with her red hair.  Again, she’s a rookie but you never come in the front door where everyone is looking.  You have to look for the back door.  If it is locked, you gently knock on it and some kind parent will let you in.  You sneak in and no one is the wiser.

After I suffered through the rest of the Sign & Torture Along Songfest, my daughter never did asked me if I was there the whole time.  In her mind, I was there the whole time.  That is the difference between being a “good” parent and a “great” parent.  If your child thinks you were there the whole time, you were there the whole time and therefore you are a good parent.  On the other hand, my wife is the parent who comes in late and is lumped in with the other parents that didn’t show up at all.  This fact clearly demonstrates that those parents really don’t love or care for their children because they chose to stay at work and provide for their families a warm home and a hearty meal.

If you want to know more about Kwanzaa or Hanukkah, feel free to read below:

Kwanzaa: A seven day celebration (actually pretty cool life lessons – see below)

Click on this link to visit the History Channel’s page about Hanukkah http://www.history.com/topics/hanukkah

As always your comments are welcome and enjoy the holidays!Image

Worthless Gifts for Your Friends: Making the Most Out of Christmas

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Christmas is around the corner and I haven’t been good to you.  I haven’t helped you in the least bit in your holiday shopping.  What kind of planner am I?  Everyone and their drunk uncle seems to have a creative Christmas List of “Must Have Items”.  But does that really help you?  Doesn’t it just make you a slave to the latest trends?  It makes you lazy and slow.  My list is much more helpful and productive.

Worthless Gifts for Your Friends:

Napkins from Fast Food Restaurants.

Let’s face it.  Most of your friends are slobs and need napkins.  If they have children the need for a napkin is even greater.  Those little beasts always have messy hands or snot running down their noses.

Mini packets of ketchup, mustard, and that pink sweetner stuff for ice tea.

Do you know how annoying it is to carry around a ketchup bottle?  Well, it is really annoying.  So giving your friends portable, serving size ketchup packets are a perfect gift.

A Cat

They don’t do much but eat, poop, and meow a lot.  My cat is available if you need one.

Beer Coasters

I use to collect these things because I love the designs and artwork on them.  That means since I like them, every other beer drinking man should also like them.  If they don’t, they are slobs and you should dump them.

Cookbooks

They look good on the window sill for the babes.  Of course, after your guests taste the crap you call a gourmet dinner they know the cookbook was for looks.

Video Tapes

This shows you are “Old School” and they are really a cool size for building forts with your nephews while Grandpa snores away.

Traffic Signs (Stop signs, yield signs, etc.)

I prefer the “No Parking” signs right in front of my house.  Keeps the rift raft (like your relatives) away from my nicely decorated house.

Refrigerator

Who doesn’t want an extra fridge for the garage?  I love my friends so much I am willing to depart with my my two extra ones sitting in my garage this very minute!  I have a wine one and a nice black side by side model.