Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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Why it is OK to Scare Kids…(and other big babies)


My wife tends to disagree with me on some of my parenting theories.  She thinks that I shouldn’t be the big, bad, scary and intimidating father to my daughter’s (who is age 13) friends.  I, of course, disagree.  I’m not mean, big, bad or scary to my daughter’s female friends…just to her little male friends.

I want those kids to fear me.  I want them to know that if they mess with my little girl that they will have to deal with me.  Is that really wrong?  To be honest, I’m not threating them or verbally scaring them….I just look scary.  That is the key…look scary to future suitors.  Nothing wrong with looking scary, right?

Sure, I’m a very articulate individual who enjoys a good conversation but sometimes the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.  He who talks first, loses right?  I want to be that father that is sitting in his chair when the daughter comes in with her friends and the boy just looks at me and knows he should be fearful.  He should think “Hmm, I probably don’t want to upset her dad…he just looks scary.”

It isn’t like my daughter is dating so I shouldn’t worry….yet.  However, why not plan for the future and lay the foundation now.  The farmer doesn’t wait until the summer to plant his crops; he plants his seeds in the winter.  I’m planning for the future.  I’m planting the seeds of fear and respect in the minds of these 11 year old boys now so they know not to mess with me (or my daughter later).  Hopefully, when they get into middle school and high school my reputation as a scary, frightening father grows into an almost unbelievable legend that will be passed down from generation to generation.

Of course, my professional as a school photographer isn’t exactly a job that scares kids.  I also don’t have any tattoos, nor do I talk “ghetto” or “white trash”.  The best I can do is speak Hawaiian Pidgin English from my school days on Kauai.  Furthermore, it’s not like I’m from SEAL Team Six or on the SWAT team. The only scary thing about me is my bald head and the fact I practice aikido (a non-violent martial art).  I suppose someone unfamiliar with it could possibly think I am a weapon of death and destruction.

Any thoughts on making myself a little bit more intimidating to the youth of today?  Any tips, suggestions, ideas?  Come on….leave a comment or two!  And thanks for reading!

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9 responses to “Why it is OK to Scare Kids…(and other big babies)

  1. cypresstreemoonphotography May 15, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    LOL. Just buy a gun and learn how to clean it and take it apart. Works every time. Take it apart and clean it when you know the little boys are coming over.

  2. allthoughtswork May 15, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Whatever you fear, you give your power away to. You’re teaching your little girl that boys are something to be afraid of because a full grown man has to intimidate them to feel secure, himself. Wouldn’t you rather teach her to love and respect herself so much that she doesn’t tolerate a single idiot, not even her neurotic father?

    • Kevin May 15, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      Thanks for missing the point of my sarcastic post! Keeping read through the the old blog posts, you’ll get it sooner or later. (Hint: it is a Worthless Advice Blog, remember?)

  3. Jessica May 16, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    Use your wife’s eye liner and apply dark swashes under your eyes every day. Get some gold caps over your teeth. And I think you are being a great father with caring about who she will end up dating…its important!

  4. youraphroditeness96 May 20, 2016 at 10:37 am

    . you could just act as the COOL DAD, and they’ll avoid you like you’ve got the plague. T_T

    • Kevin May 20, 2016 at 10:39 am

      I have that label already with my son’s friends and my daughter’s friends. For some reason they like me and think I’m fun. Besides my daughter likes to keep the boys away. I think we are good for a while.

  5. therunningllama May 30, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Make sure they see you chewing someone out on the phone. They don’t have to know that no one’s really on the other line, but just make sure you turn off your phone so it doesn’t ring during your “phone conversation”.

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