Why it is OK to Scare Kids…(and other big babies)

My wife tends to disagree with me on some of my parenting theories.  She thinks that I shouldn’t be the big, bad, scary and intimidating father to my daughter’s (who is age 13) friends.  I, of course, disagree.  I’m not mean, big, bad or scary to my daughter’s female friends…just to her little male friends.

I want those kids to fear me.  I want them to know that if they mess with my little girl that they will have to deal with me.  Is that really wrong?  To be honest, I’m not threating them or verbally scaring them….I just look scary.  That is the key…look scary to future suitors.  Nothing wrong with looking scary, right?

Sure, I’m a very articulate individual who enjoys a good conversation but sometimes the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.  He who talks first, loses right?  I want to be that father that is sitting in his chair when the daughter comes in with her friends and the boy just looks at me and knows he should be fearful.  He should think “Hmm, I probably don’t want to upset her dad…he just looks scary.”

It isn’t like my daughter is dating so I shouldn’t worry….yet.  However, why not plan for the future and lay the foundation now.  The farmer doesn’t wait until the summer to plant his crops; he plants his seeds in the winter.  I’m planning for the future.  I’m planting the seeds of fear and respect in the minds of these 11 year old boys now so they know not to mess with me (or my daughter later).  Hopefully, when they get into middle school and high school my reputation as a scary, frightening father grows into an almost unbelievable legend that will be passed down from generation to generation.

Of course, my professional as a school photographer isn’t exactly a job that scares kids.  I also don’t have any tattoos, nor do I talk “ghetto” or “white trash”.  The best I can do is speak Hawaiian Pidgin English from my school days on Kauai.  Furthermore, it’s not like I’m from SEAL Team Six or on the SWAT team. The only scary thing about me is my bald head and the fact I practice aikido (a non-violent martial art).  I suppose someone unfamiliar with it could possibly think I am a weapon of death and destruction.

Any thoughts on making myself a little bit more intimidating to the youth of today?  Any tips, suggestions, ideas?  Come on….leave a comment or two!  And thanks for reading!

Regrets, Regrets, Regrets

 

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How did I not see that big yellow bus full of nuns?

We all have regrets.  We regret eating that extra piece of pizza last night.  We regret buying the neon yellow polo shirt in 9th grade.  We regret running that yellow light and hitting that school bus full of nuns while eating a burrito from Taco Bell.  We regret sleeping in on Saturday.  We regret our career choices.  Regrets are all around us.

Do you have regrets?  Most people with a conscience have something they regret.  Whether is about their life choices or the day old sushi they ate, regrets are all around us.

However, you need to let go of your regrets.  You can’t predict the future.  So if you knew now that making a certain choice in the past would turn into a regret later on, you wouldn’t have made that choice.  Fairly simple, right?  You didn’t know it would be a regret so why beat yourself up about it?  Let that regret go.  Acknowledge it, learn from it, move on, and let it go.

Why are regrets important?  Regrets help to improve your critical thinking and your decision-making abilities.  Your experience, whether it is good or bad, helps to lead you on a path of self discovery and awareness.  (Man, that does sound like I know about regrets).

6 Tips to Make Your Life Regrets Disappear!

  1. Don’t think about them.  Why does everyone dwell on the past?  You made a mistake, you learned from it, now get over it.  Let that crap go.  Unless you’re my wife, then you hold onto it forever and remind me about it all the time.  That’s called “Life Coaching” your spouse.
  2. Don’t settle.  Stop your whining.  If you want that mega yacht, then figure out a way to be a huge success and buy it. (Hint: Don’t have a Worthless Advice Blog; it doesn’t pay anything).  I don’t have a clue on how to buy or steal a mega yacht so you are plum out of luck with me helping you.
  3. Use Positive Affirmations.  Because using negative ones won’t be getting you into Camp Happy Thoughts.  And at Camp Happy Thoughts you can put a positive spin on anything!  You wasted five minutes reading my blog but it was for research purposes so it was really an adventure into educating yourself.  See?  You are a winner already!
  4. Set Deadlines and Goals in the Future.  Isn’t that a stupid statement?  When else would your deadlines and goals be?  In the past?  I like to set unrealistic goals like “I’ll move to the country and retire in five years.”  Notice I didn’t say in 2021 that I was moving or retiring.  If I give a solid year date, then I might actually have to do it. This way I am planning but not really planning.  I won’t be disappointed when I forget about that goal.
  5. Eat an Elephant.  How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.  Every task starts with a first step just like that journey out to your car when you need to get to work.  How do you take on those huge, insurmountable tasks?  I don’t know about you, but I set up a deadline that I’ll ignore (see #4).  Then I tackle that task one step at a time because that sounds like I’m doing something smart.
  6. Find a Mentor.  Or in your case, the drunk at the end of the bar will do.  Mentors are great, if you can find one.  I had mentors and they helped me become the successful advice blogger I am today.  Successful…ha ha…sure…really successful with imaginary stalker Cyndi as my only true follower.  Find someone that is mildly more successful than you is easy.  In fact, they only need to appear to be successful.  You can listen to them, feel awesome that they are sharing their nuggets of wisdom with YOU, and become the awesome individual you were destined to be.

Make your regrets disappear.  Get over them.  Forget them.  And enjoy your life!

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Probably should have watched where we were going….