We all have road rage once in a while. You know what I get? I get shopping cart rage. I feel like the Incredible Hulk. You know what the Hulk does? He smashes things. I just want to take my cart and smash it into the people around me. I am the most frustrated when I’m shopping at Costco. Don’t get me wrong, I love Costco. I just hate the people that shop in Costco.
Of course, one might argue I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder but I don’t carry out my crazy thoughts. I just imagine doing them.
Let’s go over some Shopping Cart Pushing Etiquette:
- While pushing your cart and you want to stop and look at something, get the hell out of the way. Don’t stop in the MAIN aisle. Just pull that cart into one of those side aisles, then walk back and look at the item.
- Don’t walk slowly (like you don’t know where you are going) at Costco. You’ve been to this suburban Costco 345 times before (unless you are a tourist in Hawaii) and you know exactly what you want. Go find that big tub of ice cream and that mega pack of filet mignon and get it in your cart. Move quickly; those steaks aren’t going to fry themselves.
- Oh, you just saw your friend you haven’t seen in a week? Don’t have a conversation in the middle of the MAIN aisle. Again, use a side aisle. Get your two carts (that are blocking 75% of the main aisle) out of the way. Use some common sense.
- Don’t want to take your cart in the big vegetable or dairy cooler? That’s OK…just don’t leave it in the entrance, parked in everyone’s way. Do you think this a good spot to park? Do you see anyone else parking their cart there? No, you don’t. Park it on the side where everyone else parks.
- Don’t park your cart sideways…ever. You don’t need to pretend that your cart broke down while making a left turn. You aren’t driving a car. Get the cart out of the way.
- Don’t park your cart in the middle of the aisle and leave less than a cart width on either side. I can’t get past you. Oh, but trust me, I’ll try. I’ll get going at a fast clip and sideswipe your cart like a drunk driver on the interstate. Don’t test me.
- Finally done shopping? Then head to the cashier. See all the lanes ahead of you? Pick a lane. It doesn’t matter which lane, just pick one. Commit to that lane and stay there. Your cart is full of frozen waffles and buckets of laundry soap… it’s heavy; don’t jump lanes.
I know the people that should be reading these tips aren’t reading them, but do your part and send this blog post to them. Share the information, be part of the solution.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
3 thoughts on “Costco Shopping Cart Rage – Why am I not in Jail?”
yeahyerrite: hooever SHOULD B reading, izzn’t and/or can’t …
LOVE THIS, especially as someone who shops at a Costco in a highly populated urban center. For years, I’d been trying to explain this psychological phenomenon to friends, who only laughed at me. I strongly believe we should consider adding this to the DSM-V.
I was shopping there today…Good Friday. I had every sinlge one of the same thoughts of rage and violence. I knew I couldn’t be alone.
I sometimes like to shop without a cart. I always feel like the fast motorcycle on the freeway averting congestion and running to self checkout.
Thanks for affirmation