Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Monthly Archives: February 2016

Let’s NOT answer your question….

Have you perfected the skill of not answering questions?

A recent example of someone not answering a question was on the tv show: “Hawaii Life”.  I was watching the HGTV show “Hawaii Life” and the buyer asked her real estate agent: “Is there a lot of noise from the pool?” Her agent’s answer: “That is something to consider.”  See, you don’t answer the question but you give an answer that is just an answer.

Which makes me wonder: Do you give the best answer or do you just give an answer?

Or do you offer a question as the answer to the question?

Example: How much does that cost?

Answer: How much do you want to pay?

Again, not an answer but you opened your mouth and said something to fill the void.  You didn’t not answer them.  You could have also said “That looks like the color pink.” Both answers got you and them to the same place…nowhere.

Of course you can’t answer every question fully. In case of the real estate agent, she doesn’t know how loud it would be to live next to the swimming pool.  Who would?

Enjoy not answering any questions by offering answers that don’t answer the question. Confused? So is everyone else.

Oh, by the way, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.

So even if you have been married a few months, a few years, or a few decades, you should get the spouse an expensive gift to show your true love. At least every time I purchase a Valentine’s Day card, I feel like I’m buying a very expensive gift. Those cards are expensive. 

However, if I don’t buy the card, I look like an insensitive jerk. Ah, well played Greeting Card company, well planned. You know even if my wife says “you don’t need to buy me anything, honey” that I’d be a fool to listen to her.  Because if I don’t buy that expensive card, I’m the husband that “forgot” about Valentine’s Day. My love is only shown through a pricey greeting card’s well polished verse of undying love, gratitude, and admiration.

Oh, and let’s not forgot about what sentiment we need to profess in this greeting card. If we go with the funny card and our spouse wakes up in a bad mood, we look like someone that doesn’t take our love seriously. But if we go with the seriously one and we are known for our funny nature, we are guilty of not being concerned about our choice of Valentine’s Day cards.   We picked a serious card because we didn’t care enough to look through the 863 different cards available.

I like the funny ones but depending on the mood of your spouse (on Valentine’s Day morning), you are risking a day…a week…a month…years of how you were an insensitive dope who chose the wrong Valentine card.

Yeah, so good luck with your card choice…choose wisely.

“Let’s Go Make Some Bad Decisions!”

I have on my iPhone, in my notes app, a list of T-Shirt sayings ideas.  These are random sayings I think would make great T-shirts.  Some are sarcastic sayings, some are worthless advice sayings, and others make no sense at all but quite are catchy.

The title of this blog is one of those sayings. Of course, I didn’t make that one up. It appears inLet-s-go-make-bad-decisions-Women-s-T-Shirts a few movies, on memes, and in song lyrics. However, it inspires me to think of weird sayings I could add into my own personal list of clever and witty sayings. Sayings that make no sense, yet if you put them out in the world, someone would adopt it, and make it their own motto, and it would become a part of popular culture.

The hard part is trying to keep what you hear in popular culture out of your own creative thought process. If I Googled half the sayings in my little note app, I’m sure you could find them in a movie I watched, a novel I read, or a song I heard. You could copy a cleverly written prose as your personal mantra, however, give credit where credit is due.

Now, to help you in your quest to be unique as possible, here is a saying you can throw into a conversation sometime. It makes no sense, yet if the listener thinks a bit about it, it might make sense.

Today’s saying: “Just hanging out with dogs and monkeys.”

Let’s throw this into a conversation with your friend. Your friend asks you “What are you up to this weekend?” Your new answer: “Just hanging with dogs and monkeys.” Which they might think is your family…other friends…your adult soccer club. It makes them think they know what you are talking about, but they don’t. (In Australia, you might have to modify it to “dogs and kangaroos”.)

Now try it with a co-worker. They ask “How was that meeting with the marketing team?” You talk about how productive it was but then throw in “You know, after it was all said and done, it was just hanging out with dogs and monkeys.” They will either nod their head in agreement (because they think they know what you are talking about). Or they will ask you what you mean. If they ask, you can say “Certainly, you have been in the same situation.” Again, you aren’t offering a definition or an answer but does it really matter? You’ve answered them but didn’t answer them.

If you work in a school, this saying could fit into everyday school life and no one would bat their eyes. Everyone knows kids are dogs and monkeys.

Enjoy another worthless advice nugget from Kevin to get you through the day! And remember that you are just hanging out with the dogs and monkeys today.

A Visit to the Big Seattle Boat Show!

Sometimes I come up with some odd ideas on what I should be doing with my life.  Last summer, I had the strange notion that I should be a yacht salesperson.  I honestly thought it would be a fun and glorious summer job.  Sitting at my desk at the marina, the sun shining outside, the wind gently blowing, and the yachts gleaming outside.  Rich people would just stop by, I’d take them out for a test cruise, and I’d sell a yacht a day.

Luckily, my laziness and my desire to enjoy myself kept me from a life of khaki slacks, boat shoes, and washing seagull crap off some yacht on Lake Union.

Instead of becoming a boat salesman, my son and I went to the Big Seattle Boat Show yesterday.  Now, I haven’t been to a boat show since I was a kid so this was both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because it is extremely fun to see the variety of yachts and boats available (and this was only the ones they could bring inside on trailers).  A curse because the boats I like are in the price range of $600,000 to $900,000.  Sure, I could get by with a smaller boat but once you look at a $800,000 yacht, the $225,000 is small and not really up to your standards.  The $1.3 Million yacht wasn’t even that attractive.  I would have to pass on it.

I would also like a yacht that isn’t too big where I would need a crew to run it.  I want to be able to handle it with myself and my wife.  I know; I’m a bit picky when it comes to big boats.

I also wouldn’t mind a retired classic Coast Guard cutter or even an older working boat (tug, fishing vessel) that had some space on it.  Retrofit that baby with some modern electronics and you’d a vessel that would have some style to it, yet be fun to be on.

 

However, unless I win the Power Ball Lottery, I won’t be buying a new boat anytime soon.  Besides, who wants to worry about having to find a boat slip, fueling it up, getting through the Ballard Locks?  Am I right?

Hellriegel's Foto 1, Inc.

School Photo Options for the Seattle School District

Erotica Readers & Writers Association

This site contains explicit material intended for adults

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

As I navigate through this life ...

Sleeping on the Diagonal

Random Ruminations on Single Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wine

S.D. Lange ~Erotica~

Where Kink Meets Romance

Sexy Romance Novels

Novels that leave us breathless

making peace with the wrong side of 40

My midlife crisis made me want to live simply. Unfortunately, there isn't much simple about it most days.

New England Nomad

All Things New England

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Abbey Co.

bringing you all of the best of the pacific northwest

The Coffee Life

Writing | Books | Caffeine | Life

The Tawdry Tales of Tess

Memoirs, Musings and Advice from a Very Naughty Girl

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

%d bloggers like this: