Costco Shopping Cart Rage – Why am I not in Jail?

We all have road rage once in a while. You know what I get? I get shopping cart rage. I feel like the Incredible Hulk. You know what the Hulk does? He smashes things. I just want to take my cart and smash it into the people around me. I am the most frustrated when I’m shopping at Costco. Don’t get me wrong, I love Costco. I just hate the people that shop in Costco.Shopping Cart Neme for Blog Post

Of course, one might argue I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder but I don’t carry out my crazy thoughts. I just imagine doing them.

Let’s go over some Shopping Cart Pushing Etiquette:

  1. While pushing your cart and you want to stop and look at something, get the hell out of the way. Don’t stop in the MAIN aisle. Just pull that cart into one of those side aisles, then walk back and look at the item.
  2. Don’t walk slowly (like you don’t know where you are going) at Costco. You’ve been to this suburban Costco 345 times before (unless you are a tourist in Hawaii) and you know exactly what you want. Go find that big tub of ice cream and that mega pack of filet mignon and get it in your cart. Move quickly; those steaks aren’t going to fry themselves.
  3. Oh, you just saw your friend you haven’t seen in a week? Don’t have a conversation in the middle of the MAIN aisle. Again, use a side aisle. Get your two carts (that are blocking 75% of the main aisle) out of the way. Use some common sense.
  4. Don’t want to take your cart in the big vegetable or dairy cooler? That’s OK…just don’t leave it in the entrance, parked in everyone’s way. Do you think this a good spot to park? Do you see anyone else parking their cart there? No, you don’t. Park it on the side where everyone else parks.
  5. Don’t park your cart sideways…ever. You don’t need to pretend that your cart broke down while making a left turn. You aren’t driving a car. Get the cart out of the way.
  6. Don’t park your cart in the middle of the aisle and leave less than a cart width on either side. I can’t get past you. Oh, but trust me, I’ll try. I’ll get going at a fast clip and sideswipe your cart like a drunk driver on the interstate. Don’t test me.
  7. Finally done shopping? Then head to the cashier. See all the lanes ahead of you? Pick a lane. It doesn’t matter which lane, just pick one. Commit to that lane and stay there. Your cart is full of frozen waffles and buckets of laundry soap… it’s heavy; don’t jump lanes.

I know the people that should be reading these tips aren’t reading them, but do your part and send this blog post to them. Share the information, be part of the solution.

 

Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Cream Cheese

On a recent trip to Costco, I purchase a 3 pound block of cream cheese.  My kids love to have a toasted bagel in the morning with a good dose of cream cheese spread across it, melting slightly.

Hmm, I can almost taste the cream cheese now…in fact, I could do what I did earlier today.  I got the toaster out, sliced a bagel in half, inserted the bagel into the toaster, pushed the lever down, watched the heating elements start and made my way to the refrigerator.  I stood before the  refrigerator, opened the door, and looked for the brand new 3 pound block of cream cheese….only to discover it wasn’t in the spot I left it.

Hmmm.

I started looking on each shelf (making a mental note that the fridge is a bit bare) and I can’t find it.  I open the drawers…no cream cheese in the vegetable drawer…no cream cheese in the meat drawer….hmmm…where the heck did it go?

Then it occurs to me that I must have put it somewhere stupid like in the pantry or perhaps in the cabinet above the coffee maker.  I mean, that has happened before, where you misplace a bag of chips or place a can of corn in the wrong spot…so I continue to look for the missing cream cheese.  It is a 3 pound block of cheese; it doesn’t fit just anywhere.  It has to be here somewhere!

After about five minutes of searching, I still can’t find the cream cheese.  Then I remember we had a visitor earlier that day….KOTS!

KOTS has decided to take the cream cheese home with him.  What is he going to do with three pounds of cream cheese?  Spread it over himself?  This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed things “missing” from the house.  At first I thought I just had misplaced some food items or perhaps I just didn’t buy it at the grocery store.  No, I wasn’t losing them or misplacing them.  KOTS had decided that our pantry and fridge was his own private grocery store to raid and take what he likes.  It is very annoying to put it mildly.  I wanted to make a lasagna the other day…gone.  A huge box of  36 pudding cups for the kids’ school lunches…gone.  A nice steak for dinner?  Nope…it’s gone…instead you can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!  Yum!  Yum!  Eat up kids!

Luckily, our food situation has stabilized and we now have food in the fridge for the time being.  Now, if I could just find those missing chocolate truffles…..