In America, it’s St. Patrick’s Day which had something to do with Irish and consuming large quantities of beer, Irish whiskey, American whiskey, and pretty much any other alcohol you can find. People will talk in their fake Irish accents (except for my friend’s wife who whispers…most annoying) and you have to wear some green to avoid getting pinched by some overly aggressive “green power” enforcer.
Usually, it is a friendly old lady who just wants to pinch my tush. “Back off Grandma”.
My wife has it much worse on St. Patrick’s Day because she is a redhead. Most people assume that all redheads are Irish. This isn’t true. There are more redheads in Scotland than Ireland and therefore more Scots that are redheads than Irish redheads.
Today, I did wear my green polo shirt (because it brings out the color in my eyes, not because it is St. Patrick’s Day). I used my green water bottle and I ate a green salad for lunch. Now, I can proudly walk around with a piece of lettuce stuck in between my teeth and promote my Irish heritage.
Enjoy your St. Patrick’s Day! Make yourself a Grasshopper Martini or drop some food color in your microbrew and enjoy the day! And Thanks for not dying!
One thought on ““Thanks for not dying!” (Oh, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day)”
Loved this one, Kevin. Funniest piece in awhile. Keep up the worthlessness! 🙂