Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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Best Spring Break Tips and Memories of Bullies in Elementary


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Remember when you were a kid and you looked forward to Spring Break? Any break from school is a great one when you are a kid. I didn’t hate school as a kid but I wasn’t rushing to be there either. As a kid, I’d much prefer to be at home playing in the backyard with my friends than being stuck at school. Plus in elementary school, you only get recess to have any real fun. The rest of the time is a mix of math, spelling, and getting your face whacked in a “safe” game of dodgeball.

My kids will never experience the stunning pain of a red playground ball hitting their face by the classroom bully. I clearly remember this dick named Cliff that love to whack your face by “accident”. He had a equally douch bag sidekick named Steve. And Cliff always picked on the poor fat kids last. I luckily wasn’t fat but I was still eliminated fairly quickly because I move like a wounded gazelle. To this day, I’m not known for my quickness in sports. Hey, if you need me to run interference, I can do that. Just don’t hand me the ball for the game winning shot because I’ll miss it for sure. That is how good of a player I am!

Getting back to Cliff, our resident bully at Stevenson Elementary in Bellevue, he always would let the fat kids survive until the end for his own enjoyment. Then he’d throw the hardest he could and just nail that kid. The kid had no hope of moving in any direction to save his ass. Sometimes it was a shot to the head, sometimes a full on blow to the stomach. Poor bastard. Can you imagine the pain of that playground ball hitting your stomach at full speed? Or a shot to the head as you bob and weave in the hopes that Cliff the bully dick from the apartments somehow misjudged this one throw? Ouch!

I was so happy that Cliff and Steve went to the other junior high after we were done with middle school. I’m sure they both had a great time smoking pot and beating up kids at Highland Junior High. Cliff is probably either in jail or a cop by now. Either way, he is a dbag and Steve is probably one as well.

Somewhere in this post was going to be some good advice about Spring Break. If you are traveling by plane, make sure you carry an extra pair of clean clothes in your carry on baggage if possible. You never know when you might be stuck somewhere without your luggage. I is definitely nice to be able to change into something clean if you get stuck in some two bit airport on the south side of Omaha.

So that is my rambling post for today. Hit that like button and post a comment on the bottom. Make me feel that Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) isn’t the only one reading my blog.

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2 responses to “Best Spring Break Tips and Memories of Bullies in Elementary

  1. beijas April 3, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    Dodgeball with rubber balls=what kids did for violence before Call of Duty. Boo.

  2. candidkay April 8, 2014 at 8:36 am

    You’re bringing back dodgeball memories. I was skinny and fast but when you’re playing in a room the size of a large closet, nowhere to run:).

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