Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: Bellevue

Worthless Travel Tips – Best Worthless Advice Tips for Your Next Airline Flight!

plane-50893_1920Let’s face it, you hate people, I hate people, and we really hate sitting next to them in the airplane.  Sure, we all wish we could afford First Class but we can’t.  However, we can use certain techniques to maximize your seat space on the airplane.

  1. Bring Your Own Smelly Food – Since the airlines want to make a profit, one of the first things to go was the food service.  But this is an awesome time to bring your own food along!  And it had better be extremely good and stinky.  We all know that the stinky food is the best food!  Pickled eggs, sauerkraut, sardines, garlic bread, cat food, and maybe some strange food that would make a billy goat puke is just what you need on your next flight.
  2. Stake out the Armrest – the seats and the armrest aren’t getting any bigger on airplanes these days and you need to stake your claim to them.  As soon as you sit down, stretch out and take as much space as you can.  When your neighbors arrive, just cough a lot, and wipe your hands all over the armrest.  Ha, these armrest belong to me now.
  3. Take Those Shoes Off and Let Those Stinky Feet Breath – why should your feet be trapped in your shoes?  These flight is the beginning of your vacation.  Take those shoes off and relax.dirtyfeet
  4. Don’t Brush Your Teeth – nothing says “I don’t care about life, you, or your comfort” than skipping the brushing those pearly white teeth.  Your mouth should smell and taste like the inside of a elementary school dumpster on a hot spring afternoon.
  5. Don’t Shower – Again, you want to push people away.  With your awful breath, you can add to the sensual pleasure by not taking a shower for a few days before your flight.
  6. Dress Poorly – dress like a slob AND make sure you wear the wrong travel clothes.  Pants that are too tight – check!  Coats with not enough pockets – check! A big hat that gets in the way – check!bum
  7. Have a HUGE Carry On Bag – The heavier, the better.  Just like all the unsolved resentment you carry around in your soul, your carry on bag should be just as heavy.  Make sure that you can’t lift it over your head.  Ideally, your bag should make a professional weightlifter pop a blood vessel as he lifts it.
  8. Talk to EVERYONE…be loud and proud!  Everyone wants to hear about how you had an awful time on the taxi ride to the airport, or how Aunt Megan thinks you drink too much.  Make new friends by asking questions that are way too personal.  Remember, make them feel uncomfortable and they will scoot away from you as far as their little seatbelt will allow.

As always, I know these eight awesome travel tips will really bring you to the top of your worthless life.  What better way to make it to the lower bottom of life?

Phantom 3 Professional vs. Phantom 3 Advanced

A few issues we are having with our new Phantom 3 Professional Drone.

My son and I purchased the Phantom 3 Professional drone with a 4K camera.  We had one with a 2.7K camera but I crashed it a few times.  He rebuilt it and we need to purchase a new camera for it.  We thought the Professional 4K would be an upgrade but there are TWO different types of Phantom 3 Professional drones with a 4K camera on them.  One has a wifi interface (cost: $800) and the other one has the wired connection (cost: $1000).  We got the $800 one and that was a mistake.  We don’t really like it.

Cons/Problems/Issues:

The range on this Professional (with wifi) sucks compared to our old Phantom 3 Advanced model with 2.7K camera.

The wifi is always (and I mean always) having some kind of wifi interference.  It’s ridiculous how many “notices” pop up when you are flying.  It drives us nuts.  We have done some flying under bridges drone videos and it is a bit annoying to have the video feed disappear.

This video was done with the 2.7K camera.

There is a lag time when you are viewing the video feed and the response time on the drone control.  In the Mercer Island drone video, my son was trying to follow the jet skis but the lagging of the video made it impossible.  Our old Advanced model could have done this without any problem.

This one was made last weekend with the 4K camera.

We will purchase a new camera for the old Phantom 3 Rebuild drone.

Tip: Purchase the insurance offered on the Amazon website.  A small price to pay.  When I crashed the drone the second time, the camera was totally covered.  I learned my lesson the hard way.

My Latest Addiction….

Yes, I have a new addiction…well, I can’t say it is new but rather it has moved to a new level and taken a sidestep.

I love the smell of coconut.

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I found myself recently out of my manly “Extra Clean” scented body wash (I’m not quite sure what “extra clean” is really suppose to smell like but whatever it is, I like it). So while I was at the Fred Meyer store, I happened upon the soap and shampoo section. There, being the nice smelling gentleman I am, found myself at the coconut scented bottle section.

To be honest, this isn’t my first experience with coconut scented body wash. My daughter has some and I have used it. It just smells so good and makes me smell as fresh as a tropical vacation. If I could, I would use it all up for myself and never share it.

As I looked over the various bottles of coconut joy, I decided I needed to smell the scent each bottle had to offer. Honestly, I didn’t want to have an overpowering coconut scent (like a cheap cologne) or worse, have a bad coconut scent (like rotting coconuts) if I used a particular product. So naturally, I flipped open a few lids, waffed the sweet smell of coconut towards me, and enjoyed its heavenly tropical scent. Any reasonable person would have done the same, right?

As the enticing smell of coconut filled my head with visions of me on the beaches of Kauai, I noticed a lady watching me, then she started walking towards me, coming down the aisle towards me. Clearly, she was aware that I was enjoying the sweet smell of coconut a little too much in the store. Just like any good coconut addict, I hid what I was doing, did a quick sidestep, and made a path to the checkout with my coconut scented body wash. Luckily, I gave her the slip, made my purchase, and got the heck out of there.

Is it worth it? Is my latest coconut body wash worth it? According to my wife, cat, and my imaginary stalker Cyndi, yes, the coconut scented body wash is heaven in a bottle. Actually, I’m not sure my wife cares but I like to pretend my cat and my imaginary stalker Cyndi do care that I have a wonderful tropical scent now.

What is your latest addiction?

As always, your bottles of coconut scented body wash are welcome. Or you can just leave a witty comment below!

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Hold on? I’m rich beyond my wildest Dreams? A Bloggers Guide to Riches!

I have some bad news and good news! 

Bad news, I didn’t win the lottery with my lucky $2 bill while I vacationed in Winthrop, WA over my birthday weekend.  Of course, this leads into my good news that I can now continue to blog and offer worthless advice to Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) and my three other readers (special shout out to my blogger friends on Vancouver Island and in the great state of Kansas).  I do appreciate your following my worthless advice blog!

With my lack of winning the lottery, my retirement plans include to continue to work and save money.  In the meantime, I will enjoy the sunshine.  If you haven’t heard, we have had a rash of good weather here in the Seattle area for the past few days.  If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook (if you don’t, you really should), you might have noticed that I have been posting photos of myself out on location as the awesome school photographer I am (and a modest one as well).  Today, we hit 81 degrees at the Sea-Tac Airport and I’m sure it was 84 here in Kent, WA.  I love this kind of weather: sunshine and a little heat.

Since my blogging career and online business income hasn’t exploded into a massive fortune, I am not moving any time soon to Kauai (as seen on the TV show “Hawaii Life”) or any other warm climate.  Sure, I have talked about moving but I most likely won’t be moving anytime soon.

I have considered Kauai since my parents still live there but I am apprehensive considering my past experience as a youth on Kauai.  And the larger question is: What would I do on Kauai?  I would probably avoid doing any work of any sort and that would be a bad thing.  I’d get fat and tan and lay on the beach like a Hawaiian Monk Seal and that wouldn’t be good, would it?

I would probably have a hard time blogging too because I couldn’t complain about the rainy Seattle weather or the awful traffic.  What would I blog about?

Nah, I think I’ll continue to complain about the rainy, cold weather of Seattle and give worthless advice about blogging, retirement, and how to make money online.  Since, I am the King of Worthless Advice, I should be perfect at it!

Thanks for not even bothering to read my blog today.  Just hit the “like” button!

 

 

Sunshine kills my work day…

I’m out on location and we are experiencing some beautiful sunshine here in the Seattle area. Usually on days like these, I would blow off work. Instead, I embrace it with open arms. Why should I enjoy an awesome day like today?

I should stay inside and close the drapes.

In reality, I want the sun. Ah, sunshine come here my elusive lover. How you tease me!

I may complain a great deal about our rainy Northwest weather but today is not one of those days. I just wish I was caught up on my work so I could skip out of work. Instead, I’m playing catch up with digital images and I’m out on location (outside) for another 45 minutes.

I also hate writing and posting from my phone on WordPress. It is so cumbersome, I mess up on my tags, I get lost in the interface menu. I feel like an idiot. I blame it on the sun.

Have a great afternoon. Sorry, that I would be able to offer any worthless advice today….the sunshine had zapped my powers of sarcasm.

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Sunshine kills my work day…

I’m out on location and we are experiencing some beautiful sunshine here in the Seattle area. Usually on days like these, I would blow off work. Instead, I embrace it with open arms. Why should I enjoy an awesome day like today?

I should stay inside and close the drapes.

In reality, I want the sun. Ah, sunshine come here my elusive lover. How you tease me!

I may complain a great deal about our rainy Northwest weather but today is not one of those days. I just wish I was caught up on my work so I could skip out of work. Instead, I’m playing catch up with digital images and I’m out on location (outside) for another 45 minutes.

I also hate writing and posting from my phone on WordPress. It is so cumbersome, I mess up on my tags, I get lost in the interface menu. I feel like an idiot. I blame it on the sun.

Have a great afternoon. Sorry, that I would be able to offer any worthless advice today….the sunshine had zapped my powers of sarcasm.

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Best Spring Break Tips and Memories of Bullies in Elementary

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Remember when you were a kid and you looked forward to Spring Break? Any break from school is a great one when you are a kid. I didn’t hate school as a kid but I wasn’t rushing to be there either. As a kid, I’d much prefer to be at home playing in the backyard with my friends than being stuck at school. Plus in elementary school, you only get recess to have any real fun. The rest of the time is a mix of math, spelling, and getting your face whacked in a “safe” game of dodgeball.

My kids will never experience the stunning pain of a red playground ball hitting their face by the classroom bully. I clearly remember this dick named Cliff that love to whack your face by “accident”. He had a equally douch bag sidekick named Steve. And Cliff always picked on the poor fat kids last. I luckily wasn’t fat but I was still eliminated fairly quickly because I move like a wounded gazelle. To this day, I’m not known for my quickness in sports. Hey, if you need me to run interference, I can do that. Just don’t hand me the ball for the game winning shot because I’ll miss it for sure. That is how good of a player I am!

Getting back to Cliff, our resident bully at Stevenson Elementary in Bellevue, he always would let the fat kids survive until the end for his own enjoyment. Then he’d throw the hardest he could and just nail that kid. The kid had no hope of moving in any direction to save his ass. Sometimes it was a shot to the head, sometimes a full on blow to the stomach. Poor bastard. Can you imagine the pain of that playground ball hitting your stomach at full speed? Or a shot to the head as you bob and weave in the hopes that Cliff the bully dick from the apartments somehow misjudged this one throw? Ouch!

I was so happy that Cliff and Steve went to the other junior high after we were done with middle school. I’m sure they both had a great time smoking pot and beating up kids at Highland Junior High. Cliff is probably either in jail or a cop by now. Either way, he is a dbag and Steve is probably one as well.

Somewhere in this post was going to be some good advice about Spring Break. If you are traveling by plane, make sure you carry an extra pair of clean clothes in your carry on baggage if possible. You never know when you might be stuck somewhere without your luggage. I is definitely nice to be able to change into something clean if you get stuck in some two bit airport on the south side of Omaha.

So that is my rambling post for today. Hit that like button and post a comment on the bottom. Make me feel that Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) isn’t the only one reading my blog.

How Not To Be That Idiot Driver

I’m not much of a commuter so when I do have to drive somewhere, I pride myself on not being an idiot. I know where I am going and what freeways and exits I need to take. I know where the problems will be and when I should merge or exit.

Today, some idiot decided she needed to merge in front of me without bothering to look. She must have known she had three choices: speed up on the on ramp and cut me off, crash into me, or stay at her present speed and gently merge in behind me. As we know from my present tone that she cut me off.

Now, I didn’t blare my horn, tailgate her, or even get that upset. I just shook my head in amazement. Seriously, it was that important to get ahead of me in your Blue Tahoe? Like it made the traffic go that much faster? And don’t bother to look at me as you merge, the rest of us will gladly watch out for your vehicle this morning.

I did catch up to her as I neared my final destination and she was texting on her phone. I honestly could have cut back in front of her, slammed on my brakes, caused an accident, and gotten a new work truck out of it.

But I didn’t.

And I live to write another day without back pain!

Thanks for allowing me to vent and release.

Girl Scout Troop Adventure: Indoor Rock Climbing Gym and the Wall of Doom!

Last week during Spring Break, we took our Girl Scout Troop to the Stone Gardens Indoor Rock Climbing Gym in Bellevue, Washington.  The Girl Scout Troop loves to go to this place and play for two solid hours.  And I enjoy allowing them to challenge themselves in the safety of indoor climbing gym wearing the appropriate safety gear.

The only person to get hurt was yours truly.  In my misguided notion that I have superpowers, I fell attempting to leap from one climbing handhold to the other on the free climbing wall.  I realized that my arms don’t quite stretch as far as an orangutan as I fell backwards towards the floor.

Sure, the fall was only onto my back from a good ten feet up (maybe higher but we won’t tell my wife that) and I almost gave myself a concussion, but it was fun.  At least that is what I kept telling myself.  My friend Mark (the other dad to attend this event) got a really good laugh that I hurt myself.  He showed me pictures of me doing a really good job of climbing and a picture of the rock face where I had been before I fell.  He wasn’t quick enough to capture my rapid descent to the matt and the aftermath.

Luckily, I was able to hold back the tears and keep up my macho appearance in front of my daughter and her fellow Girl Scouts.

One worthy tip to note is if you have a Boy Scout or Girl Scout Troop is to inquire with different venues if they offer a non-profit rate.  We saved about $5 per climber since we were a non-profit group.

 

Thanks for reading!  Your comments are always welcome!

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