Sigh…it is so easy to stay motivated when you have a bunch of positive people around you, a stable work environment, and a loving family. But is that really the best you deserve in life? To be a highly motivated individual that contributes positively to the world? A person who is chipper and upbeat; who gets knocked down but still gets up again?
Let’s get unmotivated and demotivate ourselves, shall we? Here are some worthless advice tips to help you become the loser your girlfriend’s parents warned her about.
Hang Around Losers
Remember how when you were young you had goals and dreams? No? Me either. One of best ways to get those silly dreams out of your head is to hang out with losers. Now, you can find them at your local bar, in friend’s basement, or maybe down at the local park. The only requirement is for you to stop trying to make yourself better by hanging out in studying groups, book discussion groups, or trade groups. Just accept that these people are the best individuals you will ever find in life and you’ll never do any better.
Find a Career You Hate and Stick with It!
Remember you took that job as a temporary gig until you found your dream job? You promise yourself that you’ll do the best you can at it but it is only temporary…. Now, here you are 3, 5, or even 12 years down the line and you are still there in hell staring at your egg salad sandwich (yummy). So much for keeping your eyes and ears open for a better job opportunity, right? You might as well stay in your terrible job until your retire…or your company goes bankrupt and your meager retirement funds disappear faster than a donut at a fat farm. And don’t you dare join a trade group that might help further your career; that might motivate you to better your career and actually enjoy your job.
Watch Mindless Reality Television
Whoa, Einstein…put that book down and turn on your TV. Why read a book when you can watch a bunch of worthless TV all day long. As soon as you get home from work, mark sure you turn on that TV and just watch TV. Maybe learn how to make a bird cage out of willow branches for the imaginary bird you will never own.
Eat Junk Food
Nothing makes you feel like a total loser that that chocolate bar you just pigged down. Oh, it tastes wonderful as it melts in your mouth. What is the saying…ounce on the lips, a pound on the hip. Skip the salads, fresh fruit, and clear water. Instead focus on yourself and your personal enjoyment. Your kids love you no matter what and they’ll love you even more when you are dead far too early and you never know your grandchildren.
Take Up Smoking
Don’t listen to all those naysayers, millions of people smoke and they are just fine. Besides smoking helps keep our medical-industrial-chemical-pharmaceutical overlords in business and money flowing through the economy. Smoking adds to high blood pressure, lung cancer, throat cancer, and a boat load of other fun diseases to keep your doctor busy for years to come! See? Bad habits can be good for someone!
Never Try to Improve Anything
If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Remember how the big rage was continuous improvement? It was the idea that you should always be trying to improve yourself, your company, your product. Why? Why bother? You just look like a go getter, a mover and shaker. You don’t need that. Let things be the same. Don’t go back to school either and try to improve yourself. Stay stagnant.
Never Complete Your “To Do List”
Lists are great demotivational tools! You can look at how long it is and how many things you have failed to do…again….everyday….forever…. My worthless advice is to put that list up on your bathroom mirror so you can see every day how you aren’t accomplishing anything at all.
Well, I’m glad you managed to waste more of your time (and your employer’s time) by demotivating yourself by reading my post for today. Now, share your witty comments and personal best demotivating tips below in my comment section. Come one….you know you want to! At least hit the “Like” button so I know you feel worse than when you started reading this.