Why it is OK to Scare Kids….(and other big babies)
My wife tends to disagree with me on some of my parenting theories. She thinks that I shouldn’t be the big, bad, scary and intimidating father to my daughter’s (who is age 11) friends. I, of course, disagree. I’m not mean, big, bad or scary to my daughter’s female friends…just to her little male friends.
I want those kids to fear me. I want them to know that if they mess with my little girl that they will have to deal with me. Is that really wrong? To be honest, I’m not threating them or verbally scaring them….I just look scary. That is the key…look scary. Nothing wrong with looking scary, right?
Sure, I’m a very articulate individual who enjoys a good conversation but sometimes the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut. He who talks first, loses right? I want to be that father that is sitting in his chair when the daughter comes in with her friends and the boy just looks at me and knows he should be fearful. He should think “Hmm, I probably don’t want to upset her dad…he just looks scary.”
It isn’t like my daughter is dating so I shouldn’t worry….yet. However, why not plan for the future and lay the foundation now. The farmer doesn’t wait until the summer to plant his crops; he plants his seeds in the winter. I’m planning for the future. I’m planting the seeds of fear and respect in the minds of these 11 year old boys now so they know not to mess with me (or my daughter later). Hopefully, when they get into middle school and high school my reputation as a scary, frightening father grows into an almost unbelievable legend that will be passed down from generation to generation.
Of course, my professional as a school photographer isn’t exactly a job that scares kids. I also don’t have any tattoos, nor do I talk “ghetto” or “white trash”. The best I can do is speak Hawaiian Pidgin English from my school days on Kauai. Furthermore, it’s not like I’m from SEAL Team Six or on the SWAT team. The only scary thing about me is my bald head and the fact I practice aikido (a non-violent martial art). I suppose someone unfamiliar with it could possibly think I am a weapon of death and destruction.
Any thoughts on making myself a little bit more intimidating to the youth of today? Any worthless advice, tips, suggestions, ideas? Come on….leave a comment or two! And thanks for reading my Blog of Worthless Advice!
Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice 
Haha you can try walking around with a gun. Trust me I wouldn’t get near her if you had one.
I was think of a really nice big Bowie knife….
In the book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters,” author Meg Meeker suggests dad’s be sitting out cleaning their guns whenever boys come over. And she is absolutely serious about this! I love the idea… so I’m now looking for a good used shotgun and AR-15. ;o)
And a slightly crazy gleam in your eyes while doing it?
Agree with this. All of this. And I am a mom, lol! Intimidation is in the eyes. In the body, particularly the way one stands;0 And then poof! Once you know the kid is fine, you can recover with a great smile:) Atleast, that is my worthless advice.
Ah, yes, body language is always helpful and having a super strong handshake (and grip). Maybe should him the basement too?
Buy an axe and some firewood. When “the little bastards” are over at the house, be seen splitting wood. Or maybe get a chicken and be seen killing it. Make sure you pause briefly to look said little bastards in the eye.
I always liked John Candy’s character “Uncle Buck” where he is trying to get his niece’s boyfriend “Bug” to come over to his trunk (of his car) and see his hatchet. I though about displaying my samurai sword as well. Thanks for commenting and making me feel loved!