Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Got too much debt? Try these sarcastic debt relief tips!

Man, talk about a downer topic for my sarcastic sense of humor.  However, I know I have to help others out there with humor and wit.

Debt Relief Tips:

Stop spending money!  Seriously, do you really need to have that latte?  Try drip coffee out of the coffee pot in your kitchen.  Better yet, stop by  and drink his coffee and eat his donuts.

Speaking of breakfast: skip it!  Or see the example above for a free breakfast.

Ditch one of your many phone lines.  Do you need a cell phone and a home phone?  No one calls you anyway…maybe you should get rid of both.

Stop buying new clothes every week!  Seriously, if you are a married women, your husband could care less about what you are wearing.  He married you and he’s stuck with you.  You aren’t impressing him anymore.  Are you dressing up for that special guy at work?  Stop it!  You’re not a whore!

Haircuts, getting a haircut or a new hairstyle every 6-7 weeks instead of 3-4 weeks.  Again, your husband or boyfriend doesn’t even notice when you get it cut or get a new hairstyle, so why bother anyway?  Put it in a ponytail and call it good.

For guys, you know you are a moron anyway since you are spending $30 (plus tip) for a haircut every month.  I’m bald and I’m happy because I’m not wasting $360 a year on haircuts.  Who’s laughing now about being bald?

Don’t buy any new furniture just because your spouse wants to.  The kids are going to ruin it anyway by spilling soda pop and chips on your couch.  And in 12 months your wife will complain that your furniture is now “outdated”.  See, if you follow my advice you won’t be wasting money on a new furniture now or in another 12 months.

Switch to a one car family: Heck, if your wife can’t drive to the store she can’t spend money!

Internet: Switch back to dial up.  Again, if your wife and kids can’t surf the web fast, they’ll stop using the computer.  This helps to keep your wife from shopping online and stops kids from looking at porn!  Besides you have high speed internet at work: use it!

Those are your debt relief tips for today!

One response to “Got too much debt? Try these sarcastic debt relief tips!

  1. Penny Less January 28, 2010 at 7:21 am

    Dear Kevin,

    You are a lifesaver. I have already put your tips to work and after just one day, have saved almost a million dollars. You are the best.



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