Does a Pyschic really need your phone number?

Do psychics really need to have your phone number?  Wouldn’t they know you were planning to call them?   Therefore wouldn’t they be ready to receive your call?

I’ve never been to a psychic (gee, could you guess that?) and I really am not educated in any manner to discuss or float any ideas about psychics.  I have no concrete proof that they are phonies or that they are real.

However, one incident that still sticks out in my mind was a trip to Lopez Island.  I was finished working on Lopez Island and was waiting for the next ferry to catch back to Anacortes.  At the end of waiting lane, there is a small cafe/coffee stand offering lattes, muffins, hamburgers to the waiting travellers.  I was bored and a bit chilled so I decided to wander down to the cafe for a nice hot latte.

I walked down, entered the cafe.  Nothing usually about that, lots of people drink lattes on cold winter days.  I entered the small cafe, nothing too out of the ordinary, just your typical small cafe.  The line for the espresso machine was short; two locals where chatting with the lady behind the counter making small talk.  I listened to their conversation (nothing too exciting) and waited to place my order.

The folks in front of me, ordered, received their drinks and moved to the side.  I simply asked for a latte.  Nothing fancy, no nonfat milk, no special flavors, just a nice hot latte.

The first thing out of the woman’s mouth is “You’re an Aries, aren’t you?”

I am!  I am an Aries!  How the heck did this lady know I was an Aries after the only thing I said to her was to request a latte!  I know a lot of different types of people who drink lattes and they sure aren’t all Aries.  How did she know I was an Aries?

I somehow managed to keep my shock and amazement contained and simply said “Why yes, I am.”

I paid for my latte and walked out of old crazy town that day wondering how the heck she knew I was an Aries after uttering one sentence.

Facebook Addiction

I’ve recently been succumbing to my Facebook addiction and spending way too much time on Facebook.  However, it has been enjoyable catching up with voices from the past and exchanging messages back and forth; some of these people I haven’t talk to for 15-20 years and yet I still enjoy talking (writing) with them.

Or do I just enjoy in my own narcissistic manner seeing myself writing and trying to impress these friends from the past?  Do my thoughts I write down really bring anything into the lives of these friends from the past?  Are they happy to hear from me?  I’m sure they are happy to hear from me at that particular moment.  Who wouldn’t enjoy getting a note from a friend.  Yet, the novelty of the experience will soon wear off and my friends from the past will disappear.  They will return to posting on their current friends walls and I’ll be sent to the depths of their friends list.  A forgotten voice from the past that deserves to be forgotten?

Then, at the moment, my inbox will never grow and I’ll have to go and find some new friends on Facebook or worse yet, communicate with my relatives!

I must admit that I really do enjoy hanging out with my cousins so it really isn’t that bad that I communicate with them on Facebook, texting, or even using the good old phone.  Some of my cousins (and my siblings ) share my sarcastic sense of humor or have a mild form of it.  Sadly, I am the one with the huge pot of steaming sarcasm waiting to boil over and engulf its victims.

One would think that this endless cycle of ex-friends, ex-girlfriends, and distant relatives coming into the friend’s list would turn me off of Facebook.  It would make me a cold, heartless blogger that is only out to build up my list of followers in the hopes to get a big writing contract and make millions of dollars in the process….well, we certainly know that I’m already a cold, heartless person so I’m a quarter of the way there.  I have a stalker Cyndi (who claims to be real yet we haven’t heard from her lately…Cyndi, I miss you, I really miss you…).  Yet, I lack a major following at this junction in my young blogger career.

Yet, I press on in the hopes that one day I’ll be famous and my narcissistic dreams can become true!  It really isn’t narcissism if your only joy is to spread your own special brand of sarcasm, is it?

How to help your fellow coworkers with sarcasm!

One thing I really find annoying (well, there are quite a few things I personally find annoying) is the fact that people who don’t quite appreciate sarcasm and it’s helpful, constructive, team building uses.  If you think about it, sarcasm is quite useful in a number of business situations.  It helps to keep that crazy new fad business ideas in check.  If a co-worker has a stupid idea, isn’t it better to let them know now that is a seriously stupid idea with a little well placed sarcasm?  What is the alterative?  You could let them take their stupid idea it to your boss and let her deal with it?  But does that really help your coworker out?  Does it help them become a better employee?

Suppose your coworker comes up with an idea that would involve slamming cute little kitty’s paws in the door of a car?  Now, that is a pretty stupid idea, right?

Doesn’t a well structure sarcastic comment such as:

“And my fairy godmother is going to help too!” when your co-worker suggests the slamming of a cute little kitty’s paws in a car’s door idea.  That is really much better than saying:

“Dude, that is a stupid idea.”

Really, the sarcastic comment is clearly a career saver compared to the easy, put down comment.  You are doing your co-worker a favor by being sarcastic.  Your co-worker would certainly appreciate and admire your ability to point out the flaws in his idea in a humorous manner.  If you weren’t sarcastic, you would simply default to the mean “stupid” comment.  That does nothing to help your co-worker understand that their idea is utterly brain-dead.  Plus this gives them an excuse to backslide and evaluate what they thought originally was a good idea but clearly it isn’t.  You have given them the time to improve their idea and come up with ways to make it better.  You have saved them embarrassment of taking that unimproved idea to their boss before it’s time.  You have made the idea and the employee better off in the long run. 

See how sarcasm is a good thing?

So go out there and keep up the good work my fellow sarcastic helpers!

Blogging and the “un”natural feel of it

Recently, I was listening to the radio in my truck and the DJ had a caller/listener tell her that he reads her blog all the time.  Of course, I was jealous because I don’t have anyone call me up (or write to me for that matter) telling me that they read my blog everyday, seven days a week.  Admittedly, I don’t post as regularly as I should if I wanted to create a devoted following besides Cyndi and my therapist.  My therapist keeps telling me I need to “work” on expressing myself.  I keep telling her to stuff it and mind her own business.

However, my therapist is merely doing her job and I respect that.  She gets to listen to all this great wonderful stories from an assortment of characters.  I only get to use my mind to create these same scenarios and settings that have no bearing on my real life.  Then again, who would really want to change lives with the next average person they meet?  We all have our little quirks, problems, and hang ups.  Would we really want to exchange our lives for a stranger’s presumed “better” life?  How do you know that person is in a better situation that you are in?  Is there life that much better than yours?  Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence?  Perhaps it is greener because their lives is full of crap (which makes excellent fertilizater by the way).  Maybe they have to put up with the nagging wife, bratty kids, or insensitive selfish husband and they really just want to put a gun up to their head and end it all.

Now, if you didn’t know me as a sarcastic person, you might think I just endorsed suicide.  I don’t endorse it at all and don’t believe in it.

Clearly, things could be worse and you might think of that when you are thinking about how handsome I am and how extremely lucky I am.  I know, you can probably just barely contain your excitement each time one of my new blogs come up or a new story of KOTS appears.  Just remember that I am a tortured soul who’s only release is to write and blog…