Thanksgiving and KOTS

Thanksgiving is over and it was a huge success. My hat is off to my darling wife (and I’m not being sarcastic either) because she, our family friend Lynn, and Lynn’s son Matthew did a fantastic job wih dinner. This was our first year where we cooked the turkey with an electric deep fryer. It turned out excellent. One of the downsides of this Thanksgiving was the lack of KOTS being with us. He couldn’t make the time to come to Anderson Island and enjoy the turkey dinner. This isn’t the first time KOTS has skipped Thanksgiving dinner with us. This deeply saddens his mother and is most annoying to me. Hopefully, he decided to make the right choice and spend time with his dad instead of just blowing off with his girlfriend.

We don’t mind him spending time with his girlfriend. We’d like her to come over for dinner (we haven’t seen her since August). We actually like KOTS’ girlfriend quite a bit. What she sees in KOTS, I really don’t know but that is for another blog entry down the road.

Another reason it was important for KOTS to come was the fact, he had moved out of our house! Yes, KOTS’ pushed his mom a little too far in his lack of motivation and was asked to leave. I didn’t ask him to leave, his mother did.

While cleaning out his room, I removed seven bags of garbage and trash. I discovered a lot of almost brand new clothes that appeared to have been worn once. I wash them and bundled them up but KOTS has picked them up yet. We also had the carpets cleaned but the stains weren’t able to be extracted from the carpet. Sad, that a carpet has been ruined (no other carpet in the house is ruined..hmmm…now how could that be?).

With KOTS out of the house, he had to actually look for a job! Luckily for him, his Dad’s girlfriend’s son got him a job at the construction company he works at. KOTS mom and dad are also helping him get an apartment so he’ll have a place to live (besides here). I’m looking forward to seeing the “before” picture of this aprtment and an “after” picture. Legal note: We are not co-signing the apartment lease if you are wondering. I mean, look at my carpet? Does it look like I’m stupid? Hmm, don’t asnwer that one.

So in the last few weeks, KOTS has been forced to grow up and act like an adult instead of the thirteen year old he’d still like to be.

Now we see KOTS a lot more than we use to. He likes to vist our home for the food but at least his mom gets a chance to see him more often than she did before. He also likes to enable him with gifts of food so he has a vested interest in coming over to the house. I suspect we’ll see KOTS quite a bit more once he gets his apartment and needs to have it filled with toilettes, food, milk, etc.

Thanksgiving and KOTS

Thanksgiving is over and it was a huge success. My hat is off to my darling wife (and I’m not being sarcastic either) because she, our family friend Lynn, and her son Matthew. This was our first year where we cooked the turkey with an electric deep fryer. It turned out excellent. One of the downsides of this Thanksgiving was the lack of KOTS being with us. He couldn’t make the time to come to Anderson Island and enjoy the turkey dinner. This isn’t the first time KOTS has skipped Thanksgiving dinner with us. This deeply saddens his mother and is most annoying to me. Hopefully, he decided to make the right choice and spend time with his dad instead of just blowing off with his girlfriend.

We don’t mind him spending time with his girlfriend. We’d like her to come over for dinner (we haven’t seen her since August). We actually like KOTS’ girlfriend quite a bit. What she sees in KOTS, I really don’t know but that is for another blog entry down the road.

Another reason it was important for KOTS to come was the fact, he had moved out of our house! Yes, KOTS’ pushed his mom a little too far in his lack of motivation and was asked to leave. I didn’t ask him to leave, his mother did.

While cleaning out his room, I removed seven bags of garbage and trash. I discovered a lot of almost brand new clothes that appeared to have been worn once. I wash them and bundled them up but KOTS has picked them up yet. We also had the carpets cleaned but the stains weren’t able to be extracted from the carpet. Sad, that a carpet has been ruined (no other carpet in the house is ruined..hmmm…now how could that be?).

With KOTS out of the house, he had to actually look for a job! Luckily for him, his Dad’s girlfriend’s son got him a job at the construction company he works at. KOTS mom and dad are also helping him get an apartment so he’ll have a place to live (besides here). I’m looking forward to seeing the “before” picture of this aprtment and an “after” picture. Legal note: We are not co-signing the apartment lease if you are wondering. I mean, look at my carpet? Does it look like I’m stupid? Hmm, don’t asnwer that one.

So in the last few weeks, KOTS has been forced to grow up and act like an adult instead of the thirteen year old he’d still like to be.

School Conferences

Ah, school conference half days are here and the kids are getting dismissed from school a whole three hours earlier than normal.  Yippee!  I get a whole three extra hours of fighting and disagreement among my loving children.  You don’t really know the joy of parenting until you heard the click of the car door shutting and the immediate start-up of the bickering and fighting.  The whining…let’s not forget the whining.  Music to a deaf man’s ears!

Now my darling wife insists that I am being punished for all my misdeeds and minor disagreements I had with my sister and brother over the years.  At least I didn’t sit on little brother and try to squeeze the last breath out of him, almost ending his life but I digress to a simpler time.  A simpler time of attempts to kill your sister with a well placed shove or a minor psychological torture of your brother warmed your heart.  Wasn’t it fun to tell your younger siblings that they were adopted?  The look of panic in their face as they realize they might be returned to the orphanage at anytime.

Hmm, such fond memories come flooding back whenever I hear the fighting in the backseat (remember young folk can’t sit in the front because of air bags.  Some might say I’m a bit of an airbag but let’s get back to the topic on hand).

Whoa, not another whining blog about my whining kids or my whining about them or me being a whiner…let’s stay positive..it’s an upbeat blog, right?

Now Cyndi (my former imaginary stalker but now appears to be real stalker) would probably agree that kids are the best part of parenthood.  Well, unless your son grows up to be a loser, can’t hold down a job, doesn’t know how to flush a toilet or use a toothbrush, and lives in an alterative reality where lying is an acceptable form of communication.

Parenthood, the breakfast of the narcissistic man!

 

Cyndi – my stalker lives (and I’m so excited!!)

It’s update time for our favorite stalker Cyndi.  Rather it is update time about our favorite stalker Cyndi; whom we all thought was imaginary but has emailed me just yesterday.  Yes, Cyndi was kind enough to inform me that she is actually real.

Now, this no doubt is a huge ego booster for someone like himself who can his count readership on one hand.  Of course, how do we know for sure that I didn’t invent the supposed email/comment posting we see on my blog?  Or I’m just bringing Cyndi into “reality” myself to boost my meager readership?  Is it just a cheap trick?

Would I be that creative to inject Cyndi into the realm of reality? Or perhaps someone from Indiana University is more creative than I (which honestly is not hard to do) and helped to create the wonderful stalker that is Cyndi.

I just can’t wait to hear more from Cyndi so that we all can enjoy and share in my writing and her witty comments.  It is just more enjoyable for myself and my two readers to read my blog posts with the knowledge that Cyndi my stalker is reading it as well.  Just think, a whole new world awaits us with a special stalker/stalking relationship that will influence my writing from now on.

So sit back dear readers, read my blog (which is fantastic..am I right?  I know I’m right…just say I’m right) and enjoy my witty and thoughtful commentary on life.

Why spend time with the family?  Take a lesson from Cyndi and start stalking me!

Cyndi – My Imaginary Stalker!

As a lazy blogger, I really have to thank Cyndi, my imaginary stalker for helping me stay on task.  I realize that life does get in the way of my blog and I don’t contribute to it as much as I should.  Sadly, this punishes the people who need my wise and amusing words more than anyone else..YOU my dear reader.  So please accept my deepest apologizes when I say I’m sorry for not being able to write as much as I should.

Do I sound like a whiny little complainer?  Oh, my life is so tough and so hard…whine, whine, and more whine.  Actually, if the blog was truly important I’d write in it everyday with my two followers hanging on to every word I managed to spill forth from my humble keyboard.

Hmm, narcissism approaches…or is it the fear that my blog is one of the millions out there that is deadly boring.  Really, what do I have to offer to the average reader besides my charming and sarcastic wit and humor?

I observe that at least Cyndi is a true die-hard reader (even if she is imaginary).  And boy, is she good for the old ego!  She never complains about my work (of course, it would be helpful if she offered a bit of advice once in a while).  Perhaps, I can expand on Cyndi’s life to bring her into more of an active role as a stalker and give her some background in which my other two readers can feel like they know Cyndi.  I think Cyndi deserves a little background and to become a little more human.

I would say Cyndi is in her mid-thirties (hey, she’s my stalker..I can make her into my imagine), she has two children, and a good husband.  She lives in the suburbs and dreams about living in the big city.  She doesn’t want to live in the big city but she dreams about it due to watching too many love stories set in New York City.

Perhaps if I had a novel or something publish, Cyndi could come to a reading…pen in hand.

Ah, enough of building our imaginary stalker Cyndi for one evening.

KOTS gets a job…and gets fired.

Working is hard to do.  It’s even harder when you are KOTS and your stepfather offers you a no-brainer, easy job to do.  Imagine, here is your chance to work, get paid, and redeem yourself before your parents.  You’ll actually have some money and won’t have to beg or steal money from your parents.  You can prove to yourself that you can do something!

What is this dream job?  A small painting job that should keep you busy for a good 5-10 days.  The job is offered to you on Thursday.

Friday…can’t work because you have a supposed doctor’s appointment and a job interview.  Please note: You are a wussy boy who had to physically have his mommy take him to the doctor so that she knew for sure he made it.  Hmm, using a doctor’s appointment probably isn’t a good excuse unless your stepfather has a very bad memory (hint: I don’t).

Saturday…can’t work because he is working at his other (once-a-week) job.  He would have more hours there except, hmm, the manager knows he is KOTS…King of the Slackers and it shows in his job performance.

Sunday…going hunting with his friend.  I call him at 1 pm to discover he is done with hunting.  Hmm, again, another day of working hard.

Monday…can’t make it in because he has another doctor’s appointment and a job interview at 12 noon at the Olive Garden restaurant.  Seriously, another doctor’s appointment?  Really?  And a job interview at 12 noon at a restaurant?  What kind of manager would do a job interview during the lunch rush hour?

Tuesday…has to go to school in the morning, has a second job interview at Olive Garden.  Can’t make it in…

Wednesday…it’s magic time!  KOTS makes it in to work!  Tara, the job site manager, tells him to paint the trim and paint the sunroom.  KOTS quickly gets to work doing…nothing.  He spends ten minutes watching deer outside.  He has to text back everyone that texts him…he is only working…why should he stop texting for something important like work?  You know, that job that is paying him?  Oh, did I mention KOTS had to leave early for some reason…

I stopped by to check on KOTS and after KOTS left, Tara and I reviewed his work.  Tara told me not to have KOTS come back.  I was wasting my money and her time because he didn’t do anything.  He never painted the trim (what was he doing in that room?) and she had to redo the sunroom painting.  KOTS also walked across the kitchen wood floor with wet paint on his shoes.  Yes, more work for Tara to do.  Hmm, at least she’ll get some extra hours in.

That was our job experience with KOTS.  Now he is off working with his dad’s girlfriend’s son (you like that relationship explanation?)  We can only wish KOTS and his boss the best of luck!

 

The Mess that is known as KOTS’ bedroom!

The other day, I mentioned to my imaginary stalker Cyndi that KOTS (King of the Slackers) had been asked to move out of house.  Now, this has been a long time coming because KOTS hasn’t done much of anything to advance his life.  His dear mother has been at the end of her rope with his behavior.  She kindly told him that he needed to move out.

Now, one of her fears that KOTS would be “homeless”.  Considering that we aren’t the only relatives in his family, it is pretty much impossible for him to be homeless.  Perhaps he could be homeless if he decided not to return to a home that evening.  Certainly his dad wouldn’t let him stay homeless and not offer him a room in his home.  For KOTS to be homeless, it would be his choice not his family’s choice.

Besides, KOTS isn’t into “changes” and “personal improvement”.  For him to make a choice like this is totally out of character for him.  His idea of “personal struggle” is the fact he doesn’t have any clean clothes to wear because he is too lazy to do laundry.  His suffering (or rather the people around him’s suffering) is the stench of his clothes.

This brings us full circle back to KOTS and KOTS’ situation: KOTS is not homeless.  He has a place to live and is doing quite fine without his mommy helping him.

The amusing thing about this whole situation is that our house is no different from before.  He still comes over and eats our food, he still takes showers here (and leaves his dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor), and still doesn’t flush the toilet.  It’s like he never left.

The only major difference is that I have taken the huge task of tackling the mess that is known as KOTS’ bedroom.  I’ve been cleaning this mess and it is a very scary mess.  I strongly believe KOTS didn’t know how the washing machine worked, what a garbage can was, or that dirty dishes are supposed to be returned to the kitchen.  I have found things that would make a professional garbage man puke.

I’ve made some headway in the room but it still has the smell of port-a-potty on a hot summer day.  I have managed to wash a good deal of clothes and packed them away for KOTS.  I could pack them away dirty, however, I have a hard time imagining myself doing that.  One bigger mystery is why I’m bothering packing up these clothes when they didn’t matter to KOTS before and they don’t matter to him now.   I found a pile of socks that could have been easily washed and worn again.  Yet they were in a pile just sitting there.

Instead, my socks have been disappearing for a long time and I have discovered where they have gone.  Mystery solved!  Sometimes, I’m so proud of myself!