Devastation of Debt: Planning for Retirement

Isn’t that a great term?  I was surfing on the internet for retirement planning and came across the term “devastation of debt” which I just took an instance liking to.  It has such a morbid feeling to it.  It also makes you think about debt.  Good debt. Bad debt.  It’s all debt to me!

With credit card debt soaring and the housing market is still nowhere near the bubble highs of 2007, the term “Devastation of Debt” is so comfortable to embrace.  Scary, huh?  What about the looming “Fiscal Cliff” we are hearing about?  Maybe that was the Mayan End of the World prediction?  Perhaps the Mayans knew that a great empire (republic) in 2012 would have 12 trillion dollars in debt and that their great nation was in trouble.

Not everyone you know is in such financial trouble.  Some people are doing it right and we should applaud them.  We also need to keep them in mind later in life when we need a room (or at least a warm garage to sleep in).

 Your Retirement Plan should include:

1.       Successful Friends or Relatives:

Keep in good graces with friends and relatives that have a retirement plan.  Let’s face it; you don’t have a retirement plan that is why you are reading my Blog of Worthless Advice.  I can think of a good friend of mine that has both a pension plan AND a 401k plan.  Now, that’s smart planning.  What is smarter planning? Me being his friend!

2.       Vacation Home:

No, you shouldn’t have a vacation home but your friend/relative should.  Hopefully, it is a home where they don’t visit very often and they wouldn’t mind you using it a lot.  Remember, out of sight equals out of mind.  They don’t see you sponging off of them means they won’t be bothered by carefree leech lifestyle.

3.       A Car with Tinted Windows:

If you need a car, get one with tinted windows.  The darker the better. If you get stuck sleeping in your car, at least the dark tinted windows will keep you from waking up too early.  And when you are sleeping in the parking lot of your local Wal-Mart, the security guard’s flashlight won’t wake you up either.  Now some people would recommend a van but that’s a young/middle age guy’s homeless vehicle of choice.  If you plan to work as a carpenter, painter, handyman, etc., it might be a good idea.  However, if you have to commute to a real job you want a vehicle with good MPG (in case your friend’s house is far away from your place of employment).

4.       Sleep in a Good Neighborhood:

This can apply to sleeping in your friend’s garage or in your car.  By taking my advice, the car with tinted windows will be very handy.

5.       Join a Fitness Club:

I don’t care if you stay in shape but you should stay clean.  For a low monthly fee, you can get a hot shower (with unlimited hot water and free towels).   Most of them are open long hours and closed only a few days a year.  Side note: I’d complain about those two days a year they are close.  Hey, you pay the monthly dues so you can have access every day of the month.

6.       Food Courts:

What a great source of food.  Half eaten sandwiches, free fries, and unlimited soda refills!  Always have a soda cup and a book with you.  This makes it look like you are so bored you come to the mall to have a soda and read a book.  Sit down next to some people who look like they won’t eat everything.  When they are about to leave, offer to take their tray over to the trash can.  They will be delighted you are so nice and you get their leftovers.  Bonus: you are keeping all that food from going to waste!

If you have other Worthless Advice Tips, please be sure to leave them below!