No One Takes My Advice….and For Good Reason!

I noticed that a lot of people don’t heed advice when it is offered to them.  Clearly, my Blog of Worthless Advice would be much more successful if people would really look at themselves and see what terrible mental shape they are in.  It is quite sad that people don’t following their passion and becoming better people.

In my quest to offer the best worthless advice available, I am constantly reading advice columns, advice blogs, and interest resources like The Onion.

However, Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) and my Mom (my other reader) know that my Worthless Advice Blog is merely a creative outlet for my weird sense of humor.  Sadly, some of the articles and blogs I read actually think that their blogs offer helpful advice.  My 10 year old daughter offers better advice.

I saw one article entitled “Bad Parenting? Parents Should Avoid Bad Parenting Mistakes.”  Really?  You think parents should avoid bad parenting mistakes?  You don’t think I should embrace them and strive to be a bad parent?  I get most of my parenting advice from

In my heart, I know that others could be greatly helped by reading my blog.  The world is in sad shape, you losers really need to be saved from your stupid lives.  With unemployment at 8.2% in Washington State in October 2012, you think more people would be searching for Worthless Advice to better their lives (and find a job!).  On a brighter note, Washington State unemployment dropped from 8.5% in September 2012.

See how I’m improving your life already?  I offer my extremely correct opinion mixed in with a few useful facts to help increase your knowledge about unemployment in Washington State.

The $85.99 Chili Cheese Fries


The $85.99 Chili Cheese Fries.

Last night due to poor time management skills, I spent $85.99 on Chili Cheese Fries.  Allow me to share in my stupidity, yet educate you on a few things about allowing yourself time to travel somewhere, parking, and how long it takes to get your food order.

About six months ago, my wife was inspired by her friend Teri on the ways to celebrate one’s big 40th birthday.

Teri decided to do something special every month for her husband’s upcoming 40th birthday.  One month, it was a trip to the Crystal Mountain for a dinner, another month was a trip to Victoria B.C., etc.

Well, it is too late for us to celebrate our 40th birthdays, however, we can celebrate 20 years being together as a couple.  We have a few fun events planned like small short overnight trips to Portland, Oregon, a musical here and there, a family event, etc.  For example, last month, we saw “Wicked” and this month we were going to see a play at the University of Washington’s Drama Department’s Meany Studio Theater.

Fast forward to last night, where we left in plenty of time to arrive at the show but not enough time to sit down at a restaurant and have dinner.  We parked the car but I was lazy and didn’t get a parking sticker.  Heck, we were going to be there for 20 minutes and I didn’t see the City of Seattle’s parking permit kiosk (around the corner, nowhere close to where we parked).  That was a $44 parking ticket, our chili cheese fries were $5.99, and then we managed to miss the beginning of the play (no late seating) so there goes $36 for tickets.  I could throw in the cost of fuel if I wanted to pour more salt into the wound.

I know better.  As my friend Dan says “It seemed like a good idea at the time!”.  That is the whole problem with the $85.99 Chili Cheese Fries adventure.  My laziness and poor planning made a $5.99 food item into a $49.99 item and then into an $85.99 item.

Today I’m hoping to buy a pack of gum $1.59 into $96 item.  Wish me luck!