Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: seattle

Water Woes…leaks, broken appliances, and more!

image1Welcome to the last week of 2017!  In the last two weeks of 2017, I was quite pleased with myself.  We purchased a new fridge (awesome deal because it was a scratch and dent model) and a new dishwasher (Christmas present to myself and my wife).  Sure, my kitchen will be the same old kitchen but two of the appliances are shiny and new.

Then I opened the letter from the water department.  It nicely stated that we might have a water leak because our water usage was higher than normal.  My first thought was excessive use of the shower by my two teenagers but that was quickly dismissed by shutting off the house water main in the house.  The water meter was still moving.  Ah…a nice slow leak between the meter and my house.

Not to worry…I have a step-cousin in the water line repair business.  He has a big house and his kids are in private school so I’m sure this will be a cheap fix.  He also likes to take fancy vacations….

Then my son tells me that the water main value in the garage is leaking.  This is the same water main value I had turned off to determine the other water leak.  Sure enough, it was leaking.  After three trips to the local McLendon’s Hardware store and three hours, we had replaced the broken gate value with a nice new ball value.  (That’s fancy man talk there).  I thought for sure my soldering job would cause a spray of water all over but I’m pleased to report that it didn’t leak at all.  Considering I haven’t repaired a copper pipe in about ten years, I did pretty good job.  $32 in parts, three hours of my time, but I missed my Aunt’s Christmas party (that was disappointing).

The next water related item: my sister and Mom managed to jam up their garbage disposal.  So I had to pack up my tools and head over to their place.  Luckily, it was merely a jam and the disposal didn’t have to be replace.  Yeah! One “win” against the Water Woe Wars!

Along with the new fridge, I mentioned I got a new dishwasher.  I paid for the removal of the old one and installation of the new one.  No problem there except that it was installed on Tuesday December 26, I didn’t use it until Thursday December 28….and it ran for half a cycle.

I tried to cancel the cycle, I tired to drain it, I tried to resume the wash cycle, I even flipped my breaker on and off and tried to do a new wash cycle.  Yet, my new Maytag dishwasher won’t do anything now.  Not to worry, it is a Maytag and under warranty.  I had the delightful pleasure of sitting on hold for 20 minutes and then the system hung up on me!  Awesome.  So I did an online chat support and now have a repair tech coming out on Tuesday, January 2.

Back to the outside water leak.  The water leak detection crew finally made it out on Thursday to find the leak.  Now, I have my cousin’s crew out here digging up my yard.  I’ll let you know what they discover.

And the last two items of water problems…leaky bathroom sink faucet and a broken bathroom sink faucet.  My son’s bathroom sink faucet started to leak.  Now, it might be a washer but the cold water handle is also a bit broken so I’m just going to repair the whole faucet.  And of course, my bathroom faucet has been broken for about three years.  The hot water side is messed up so I’m just replacing it as well.  What the hell, right?

In the meantime, enjoy your final weekend of 2017.

IMG_0793

Advertisements

Worthless Travel Tips – Best Worthless Advice Tips for Your Next Airline Flight!

plane-50893_1920Let’s face it, you hate people, I hate people, and we really hate sitting next to them in the airplane.  Sure, we all wish we could afford First Class but we can’t.  However, we can use certain techniques to maximize your seat space on the airplane.

  1. Bring Your Own Smelly Food – Since the airlines want to make a profit, one of the first things to go was the food service.  But this is an awesome time to bring your own food along!  And it had better be extremely good and stinky.  We all know that the stinky food is the best food!  Pickled eggs, sauerkraut, sardines, garlic bread, cat food, and maybe some strange food that would make a billy goat puke is just what you need on your next flight.
  2. Stake out the Armrest – the seats and the armrest aren’t getting any bigger on airplanes these days and you need to stake your claim to them.  As soon as you sit down, stretch out and take as much space as you can.  When your neighbors arrive, just cough a lot, and wipe your hands all over the armrest.  Ha, these armrest belong to me now.
  3. Take Those Shoes Off and Let Those Stinky Feet Breath – why should your feet be trapped in your shoes?  These flight is the beginning of your vacation.  Take those shoes off and relax.dirtyfeet
  4. Don’t Brush Your Teeth – nothing says “I don’t care about life, you, or your comfort” than skipping the brushing those pearly white teeth.  Your mouth should smell and taste like the inside of a elementary school dumpster on a hot spring afternoon.
  5. Don’t Shower – Again, you want to push people away.  With your awful breath, you can add to the sensual pleasure by not taking a shower for a few days before your flight.
  6. Dress Poorly – dress like a slob AND make sure you wear the wrong travel clothes.  Pants that are too tight – check!  Coats with not enough pockets – check! A big hat that gets in the way – check!bum
  7. Have a HUGE Carry On Bag – The heavier, the better.  Just like all the unsolved resentment you carry around in your soul, your carry on bag should be just as heavy.  Make sure that you can’t lift it over your head.  Ideally, your bag should make a professional weightlifter pop a blood vessel as he lifts it.
  8. Talk to EVERYONE…be loud and proud!  Everyone wants to hear about how you had an awful time on the taxi ride to the airport, or how Aunt Megan thinks you drink too much.  Make new friends by asking questions that are way too personal.  Remember, make them feel uncomfortable and they will scoot away from you as far as their little seatbelt will allow.

As always, I know these eight awesome travel tips will really bring you to the top of your worthless life.  What better way to make it to the lower bottom of life?

Someone is having a bad day—U-Haul crashes into Historic Seattle Landmark

Sometimes you just want to move your belongings from one place to another.  These poor folks decided to take their U-Haul moving truck through the beautiful Seattle Arboretum.  Why not?  It’s a short cut, it’s a nice drive, and what could go wrong?  Click on the link to KOMO news (one of our local broadcast news channels).

I’m hoping they opted for the “extra insurance coverage”.  I know your regular auto insurance usually covers small accidents but most of us have deductibles ranging from $100 to $1000.  The one time I opted for the additional coverage when I rented a moving van (14 years ago), it was worth it.  It was a small additional charge that covered EVERYTHING.  I managed to scrap a long line in the wood deck of the Public Storage moving van and they wanted to charge me for it.  It was a moving van and it was normal wear and tear.  Then the guy saw I had opted for the additional coverage and said I didn’t have to worry about it.

If you think about it, unless you are a commercial truck driver and use to a large vehicle, it makes sense to get the extra coverage and talk with your insurance coverage before you rent the truck.  Sure, it is cool you are moving from your parents’ basement into an overpriced apartment near Green Lake, but you need to cover yourself.  Think how this poor guy’s weekend is now ruined.

Click on the link below to check out more photos.

http://komonews.com/news/local/u-haul-truck-crashes-into-historic-seattle-landmark

Why I hate Driving on the Freeway….

Today, I actually had to work at my studio in Burien and had to drive today. Usually, this time of year I work mostly out of my home office. So on my way back from Burien in the middle of the day, one should expect the freeway traffic to flow easily. In the Seattle area, that is never the case. I made it past the madhouse near the Sea-Tac International Airport. Once on I-405, I get stuck behind a guy in a gold minivan doing 46 mph on the freeway that is clearly marked 60 mph. This is way I hate driving. We have some idiot on the freeway that thinks he is on a nice country drive. It isn’t a nice country drive; it’s January and it is a cool 40 degrees out. I’d like to get on my merry little way home. I don’t need you endangering my life with your slow driving.
Sure, I could whip around this guy in his golden minivan; however, I have to take the next off ramp to get onto the other freeway. It makes no sense to barrel around this guy. Of course, he takes the same exit. I wasn’t in a hurry but I was annoyed. I’m not a freeway Nazi; I just ask that you drive the speed limit. Go at least 5 mph over or at least the speed limit. Is that too much to ask? I’m not asking you to drive at an unsafe speed. The pavement is dry, the sky is a mix of sunshine and clouds, driving conditions are pretty darn good out there…just do the speed limit so the guy behind me isn’t tailgating me.
Thanks for allowing me to offer my own personal piece of Worthless Advice on how to drive on the Freeway!

Everyone loves to drive on the freeway, right?

Everyone loves to drive on the freeway, right?

My Latest Addiction….

Yes, I have a new addiction…well, I can’t say it is new but rather it has moved to a new level and taken a sidestep.

I love the smell of coconut.

IMG_4271.JPG

I found myself recently out of my manly “Extra Clean” scented body wash (I’m not quite sure what “extra clean” is really suppose to smell like but whatever it is, I like it). So while I was at the Fred Meyer store, I happened upon the soap and shampoo section. There, being the nice smelling gentleman I am, found myself at the coconut scented bottle section.

To be honest, this isn’t my first experience with coconut scented body wash. My daughter has some and I have used it. It just smells so good and makes me smell as fresh as a tropical vacation. If I could, I would use it all up for myself and never share it.

As I looked over the various bottles of coconut joy, I decided I needed to smell the scent each bottle had to offer. Honestly, I didn’t want to have an overpowering coconut scent (like a cheap cologne) or worse, have a bad coconut scent (like rotting coconuts) if I used a particular product. So naturally, I flipped open a few lids, waffed the sweet smell of coconut towards me, and enjoyed its heavenly tropical scent. Any reasonable person would have done the same, right?

As the enticing smell of coconut filled my head with visions of me on the beaches of Kauai, I noticed a lady watching me, then she started walking towards me, coming down the aisle towards me. Clearly, she was aware that I was enjoying the sweet smell of coconut a little too much in the store. Just like any good coconut addict, I hid what I was doing, did a quick sidestep, and made a path to the checkout with my coconut scented body wash. Luckily, I gave her the slip, made my purchase, and got the heck out of there.

Is it worth it? Is my latest coconut body wash worth it? According to my wife, cat, and my imaginary stalker Cyndi, yes, the coconut scented body wash is heaven in a bottle. Actually, I’m not sure my wife cares but I like to pretend my cat and my imaginary stalker Cyndi do care that I have a wonderful tropical scent now.

What is your latest addiction?

As always, your bottles of coconut scented body wash are welcome. Or you can just leave a witty comment below!

IMG_4269.JPG

Everyone Wants to Be Special or at least feel Special

Let’s get something straight….everyone wants to feel special. They might say that they don’t want to be special, they don’t want to be noticed but, in reality they do. Regardless, everyone wants to be special whether they admit it or not.

If you write a blog, you know this to be true. Sure, you can say you write your blog for yourself, but secretly you hope it becomes hugely popular and you have an extremely large following of devoted followers.

You can say you are an introvert and therefore don’t want to be noticed. This isn’t true. You might be very outgoing when you need to be, yet hate to be around people. You can write an extremely funny blog yet never be able to hold a conversation at a party with new people.

However, on the flip side, if you are comfortable with the people at the party, you are the life of the party.

Everyone says extroverts are the outgoing ones and you want to be around them. However, they dominate the conversation because they need to be always “on”. I think extroverts are a overwhelming. Extroverts love to hear themselves talk. Introverts have the power to turn “on” (or “off”) the “outgoing” side. Introverts have the ability to sit back and not say anything. They can melt into the background, hide in the crowd, and just observe.

I, like everyone else that blogs, hopes my blog takes off and becomes hugely successful. It would be ideal to sit back and construct witty blog posts everyday that lead to more and more followers.

So click on the “like” button and share with your Facebook friends my blog….

Read more of this post

Update: Fat Ass Dads Weight Loss Challenge

I have a few minutes while riding the ferry to Anderson Island to give you an update you are all dying for: The Fat Ass Dads Weight Loss Challenge.

My group of overweight fat ass dads have started our weight loss challenge and most are doing fairly well. A couple of us are actually losing weight in this challenge so it is doing a good thing. One of my friends is down 5 lbs, another 10 lbs, and I’m down 8 lbs. I haven’t heard of any other weight loss from the rest of the fat ass dads. They probably don’t want to hear anymore of my worthless advice about weight loss until they hit their personal plateaus.

A few dads “forget” to mention to their wives and family that they were involved in the challenge. I think these characters are the same dads who refuse to read my worthless advice blog. The fools!! I personally think they were trying get out of the weight loss challenge. They are trying not to do it. But like the mafia, I can reach you were ever you try to hide. Sooner or later, I’ll bump into your wife at Costco or come over to your house for dinner and I’ll steer the conversation to the Fat Ass Dad Weight Loss Challenge. And you know what? Your wife will commit your sorry ass to the challenge. You can run but you can’t hide. There is no escape.

Now, we have the habitual offenders who are still eating donuts and drinking Big Gulps instead of making the commitment. I can’t complain; they just make it easier for me to take their money when this is all said and done.

Personally, I’ve dropped bread from my diet, stop drinking beer, and drink a few drinks of scotch or whiskey on the weekend. I’ve ramped up the salads and lean protein and cut out the crap. We all know what we are suppose to do, we just don’t do it. And let’s face it: a hamburger tastes a hell of a lot better than a salad. Don’t forget some greasy French fries and a nice vanilla milkshake. Yum! Ok, back to reality….

The reality is that I’m eating better and doing some killer workouts. Bigger, stronger, faster…right? The nice part is that I’m not totally out of shape. The bad part is that I have that damn spare tire around my belly. Belly flat is the worst. Ugh. So I’m focusing on fat burner workouts and muscle building activities to double down on the fat burning.

That’s the Friday update from the Anderson Island ferry. Have a fun weekend! Feel free to leave sarcastic comments, ideas, or a little of both below. At least click the “like” button!

IMG_4075.JPG

Hold on? I’m rich beyond my wildest Dreams? A Bloggers Guide to Riches!

I have some bad news and good news! 

Bad news, I didn’t win the lottery with my lucky $2 bill while I vacationed in Winthrop, WA over my birthday weekend.  Of course, this leads into my good news that I can now continue to blog and offer worthless advice to Cyndi (my imaginary stalker) and my three other readers (special shout out to my blogger friends on Vancouver Island and in the great state of Kansas).  I do appreciate your following my worthless advice blog!

With my lack of winning the lottery, my retirement plans include to continue to work and save money.  In the meantime, I will enjoy the sunshine.  If you haven’t heard, we have had a rash of good weather here in the Seattle area for the past few days.  If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook (if you don’t, you really should), you might have noticed that I have been posting photos of myself out on location as the awesome school photographer I am (and a modest one as well).  Today, we hit 81 degrees at the Sea-Tac Airport and I’m sure it was 84 here in Kent, WA.  I love this kind of weather: sunshine and a little heat.

Since my blogging career and online business income hasn’t exploded into a massive fortune, I am not moving any time soon to Kauai (as seen on the TV show “Hawaii Life”) or any other warm climate.  Sure, I have talked about moving but I most likely won’t be moving anytime soon.

I have considered Kauai since my parents still live there but I am apprehensive considering my past experience as a youth on Kauai.  And the larger question is: What would I do on Kauai?  I would probably avoid doing any work of any sort and that would be a bad thing.  I’d get fat and tan and lay on the beach like a Hawaiian Monk Seal and that wouldn’t be good, would it?

I would probably have a hard time blogging too because I couldn’t complain about the rainy Seattle weather or the awful traffic.  What would I blog about?

Nah, I think I’ll continue to complain about the rainy, cold weather of Seattle and give worthless advice about blogging, retirement, and how to make money online.  Since, I am the King of Worthless Advice, I should be perfect at it!

Thanks for not even bothering to read my blog today.  Just hit the “like” button!

 

 

Sunshine kills my work day…

I’m out on location and we are experiencing some beautiful sunshine here in the Seattle area. Usually on days like these, I would blow off work. Instead, I embrace it with open arms. Why should I enjoy an awesome day like today?

I should stay inside and close the drapes.

In reality, I want the sun. Ah, sunshine come here my elusive lover. How you tease me!

I may complain a great deal about our rainy Northwest weather but today is not one of those days. I just wish I was caught up on my work so I could skip out of work. Instead, I’m playing catch up with digital images and I’m out on location (outside) for another 45 minutes.

I also hate writing and posting from my phone on WordPress. It is so cumbersome, I mess up on my tags, I get lost in the interface menu. I feel like an idiot. I blame it on the sun.

Have a great afternoon. Sorry, that I would be able to offer any worthless advice today….the sunshine had zapped my powers of sarcasm.

20140429-123413.jpg

Sunshine kills my work day…

I’m out on location and we are experiencing some beautiful sunshine here in the Seattle area. Usually on days like these, I would blow off work. Instead, I embrace it with open arms. Why should I enjoy an awesome day like today?

I should stay inside and close the drapes.

In reality, I want the sun. Ah, sunshine come here my elusive lover. How you tease me!

I may complain a great deal about our rainy Northwest weather but today is not one of those days. I just wish I was caught up on my work so I could skip out of work. Instead, I’m playing catch up with digital images and I’m out on location (outside) for another 45 minutes.

I also hate writing and posting from my phone on WordPress. It is so cumbersome, I mess up on my tags, I get lost in the interface menu. I feel like an idiot. I blame it on the sun.

Have a great afternoon. Sorry, that I would be able to offer any worthless advice today….the sunshine had zapped my powers of sarcasm.

20140429-123413.jpg

Sleeping on the Diagonal

Random Ruminations on Single Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wine

S.D. Lange ~Erotica~

Where Kink Meets Romance

Sexy Romance Novels

Novels that leave us breathless

In10se

My View Through a Cracked Lens.

making peace with the wrong side of 40

My midlife crisis made me want to live simply. Unfortunately, there isn't much simple about it most days.

New England Nomad

All Things New England

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Abbey Co.

Lifestyle Blogger, Big-Time Foodie, Toddler Mom, USCG Certified Captain, Baker of Too Many Sweets, and Total Northwest Lifestyle Fanatic

The Coffee Life

Writing | Books | Caffeine | Life

The Tawdry Tales of Tess

Memoirs, Musings and Advice from a Very Naughty Girl

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

The Brasharian

style and culture blog

Appetite for Sexual Destruction

Welcome to the Jungle that is online dating in your 30s...

Everything Southern

lifestyle blog

joeyackles2

Hopeless & Waiting

Kristina Gallo - Rebellious rules by Kristina Gallo

psychology, society, relations, business, sarcasm

UpChucking Words

Puking up Poetry, One Verse at a Time

%d bloggers like this: