Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: Cars

Summer Camp for Adults? Cash on In!

FullSizeRenderSummer is here and a few years back I read about Adult Summer Camps.  I didn’t pay much attention to the Adult Summer Camp craze because I was too busy being, you know, a parent.  Besides, I’ve done my fair share of camping, backpacking, and attending summer camps as a young Boy Scout and also as a Boy Scout troop leader.  Oh, and don’t forget my trips to various Girl Scout camps with my daughter as well.  So you can imagine, I’m not too interested in sleeping a musty old cabin eating bad food at the dining hall as an adult because we now have an Adult Summer Camp opportunities abound.

So, you see, the idea of Adult Summer Camp doesn’t really appeal to me.  However, I can see that it is a great idea because it already exists and someone is making some money.  However, I believed these “summer camps” are called business conventionsand trade shows and held in places like hotels.  Usually  you have to attend because your job requires you to.  Or you could go for pleasure and attend something like Comicon.  You know, a place where you can dress up in a costume just like you do on Halloween.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It is a hobby and hobbies are something you enjoy doing and I strongly encourage you to attend a convention if you want to.  I just don’t understand why someone wants to head out to the woods and go back to summer camp.  I’d much rather head to a hotel and enjoy the pool and spa services.

Of course, I’m a fool for not cashing in on the Adult Summer Camp craze.  I know a number of experts (aka friends) that could assist me in creating a new summer camp.  If someone wants to pay me to attend a summer camp, who am I to stop them?

What courses would I offer?  The list is endless!

  • Lawn Mowing and Lawn Care
  • Complaining & Whining
  • Photography
  • House Painting
  • Blogging
  • Cheap Vacations
  • Car Maintenance
  • How to Fail
  • Drone Flying (and Crashing!)
  • Home Beer Brewing (and its sister course Beer Drinking)
  • How to Be Depressed in Your Life without Mental Illness
  • Boating and Floating
  • Camping Basics
  • Candle Making
  • Wine Drinking
  • Scotch and Whisky Drinking

Pretty much whatever you can imagine, we could offer it as a course.  I could rent some old summer camp, set up some old army tents, get some retired school cook for my mess hall, and we would have our summer camp up and running in no time.  Daily Field trips to the local pub for inspiration would be a must.  Hands on experience (like painting my house) with a touch of reality (see my highly regarded course “How to Fail”).

I know you are dying to sign up.  For only $1499 per week, this summer camp experience can be yours.  You can send me cash anytime.  I promise to save your spot for you.

Have a great idea for a course?  Want to be a part of a winning team (or you need a job for the summer)?  Let me know!  Frankly, I need all the help I can get.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

It’s OK to Be Selfish

Do you sometimes put yourself on the back burner? Does your family come first at the sacrifice of your own well being?

I’ve noticed that a lot of people are making the commitment to lose weight and improve their health. I’m in the same boat. I’m working on dropping weight and trimming down. I want to be selfish and feel better about myself. But is it really being selfish?

You don’t get into shape only for yourself. You get back into shape for your loved ones. You do it for your spouse, your kids, your family. You want to be healthy so you can be with them for years to come, to drive them nuts and crazy with your oddness, your creativity, your love.

So be a little selfish. Do something for yourself that will benefit you and your family. It can anything: working out, reading a self help book, painting a photo, whatever. Just do a little selfish act that makes you happy and helps you improve your well being. Because when you are happy, your family will be happy.

Thanks for reading!

An Open Letter to Every Moron Parent Who Drops their Kids Off at School-

Dear Idiot Parent:

I’ve been dropping off my various kids at our elementary school for the past several years and I fully understand how this simple drop off system works.  You drive up to the school, you drop off your child, they shut the door, and you drive away.  However, you (the complete idiot parent) can’t seem to understand the simple concept that if you stop, all the cars behind you also have to stop.  Allow me to expand on how traffic flows at our school and in the rest of the world of cars, trucks, and motorcycles work in real life.

It really isn’t too hard to figure out that if there are no cars in front of you, you move your vehicle all the way to the end of the drop off lane. You don’t stop at the beginning of the drop off lane to let your kid out when there are roughly twenty cars behind you and three buses all trying to get in to the school parking lot at the same time.  I’m sure you never noticed them as you only had to drive 5 mph because there were so many cars ahead of you doing the exact same thing as you: dropping off their kid at school.  This is the part when you drive to the end of the drop off lane, and then let your kid out.

And Yes, that was me behind you blaring my truck horn when you stop at the beginning of the drop off lane.  Do you know why?  Frankly, it is because you are stupid.  Why kind of moron thinks that is a good place to drop off their kid?  Oh, that would be you.   Like I previously stated, you need to drive to the end of the drop off lane so the rest of the twenty cars can drive in behind you.  It isn’t that hard of a concept to understand.  EVERYDAY, it is the same system and routine.  It isn’t that hard to figure out.

I think this is a good time to mention that you are also the same stupid parent that doesn’t bother to have their child buckled into the backseat or puts four kids in the backseat (where everyone knows has only three seatbelts).  Unlike you, I’m not a moron.  I can clearly see that when your kid is leaning forward in his seat that he isn’t wearing his seatbelt.  And I can see this when we are still a quarter of a mile away from the school.  Can you please strap your kid in?  Use your adult brain just a little bit more in the morning?

Now, I know my school isn’t the only place where this happens.  I understand we all have moron parents at our own various schools across the world and there is nothing we can do about it.  Sure you can honk your car horn like I do but they still don’t understand why they are morons.  You could yell at them like I did when the mom blocked the crosswalk and the 50 students and parents couldn’t cross the street.  Half the school is trying to cross the street and she is blocking the crosswalk.  Brilliant!  Simply brilliant!

As always, your comments are welcome and enjoyed by all that read my blog.  So fire off some tad bits of wisdom!

Another Fun Trip to the Post Office

Please, only 300 pieces of mail at one time!

The other day I was lucky enough to enjoy being stuck behind a woman putting 300 outgoing pieces of mail in the drive through mail box at my local post office.  I was delighted further as she did this while talking on her cell phone and used only one hand to accomplish a two handed task.  Very talented, indeed!

I think she merely forgot that there was a line of cars was behind her.  Maybe it was her day to “try” to be a better human being.

And who am I to complain?  My measly six pieces of mail were in no hurry to be placed in the mail box.  My cell phone sat in its resting spot, lonely and sad I wasn’t using it.  I should defer to her great abundance of common sense when it comes to mailing out numerous handfuls of letters.  Who would actually park their car and carry one box of 300 letters of mail into the post office?  Clearly, a moron like me who has nothing better to do!  That is probably why I wouldn’t follow my own worthless advice when it comes to mailing out some letters.

However, I know I need to be more patience in my dealings with the general public.  I sat in my car, allowed her to finish her task (without honking my horn), and she moved on.  I then mailed my letters and proceeded to be got behind her again as she sat waiting to make her turn out of the mail drop off lane.

Hmm, which way is she going to turn?  Maybe she told the person she was talking to on the phone because I didn’t have a clue.  But wait, her turn signal comes on and she is turning left.  Yes! Left at the worst possible time of the day!  Excellent!  We shall never get out of here!  And with her attention split between driving and chatting on her cell phone, this should take close to FOREVER to make the left turn.

A good five minutes later, she makes her left turn somewhat safely and we make our right turn.  Another fun trip to the post office is over with.

1983 Mercedes Benz 380SEL

This past Halloween, I purchased an old 1983 Mercedes Benz 380SEL.  What drove me to do such a thing?

 I wanted a “hobby” car that was large enough for a comfortable drive, yet, wasn’t too expensive where I’d have guilt purchasing it.  I ended up with “Helga”, my 1983 silver gray, 4 door sedan 3.8L V8 (126 body style) with all working power windows, a working sunroof, working heater, and four decent tires (no spare tire).  I’m not sure about the a/c unit yet.  Helga doesn’t have any dents but she does have some issues inside the interior of the car. 

The previous owner was a smoker so I am washing everything in the car to get rid of the smoke smell.  I’ve washed the carpets, the seats, the headrests, and the roof.  I’ve spread baking soda to soak up the smell and did a Google search on how to get rid of the cigarette smell.  Slowly, it has been working.  Honestly, I’ll probably have to get it cleaned at a detail shop.

 The front seats need some TLC.  The driver’s seat is soft in the seat cushion and is torn.  The front passenger seat also has some flaws.  Ideally, I’d like to replace the bottom portion of the seats.  They are gray and I have been looking on the internet for either used seats or a replacement cover.  I suppose I could put some after market seat covers over the existing seats if I needed to.

Helga has 212,000 miles on her.  She reportedly had a different engine (not sure if it was a rebuilt, junkyard used motor, or a new engine) put in about 35,000 miles ago.  Transmission is a bit rough when she shifts.  Her engine is a little slow to response and she idles a little rough when waiting at a red light or when you first start her up.  It takes her a while to warm up and get going.  For a 3.8 L V8 engine, she doesn’t have much pick up and go.  In fact, she reminds me of my 1983 Mercedes Benz 300D Turbo Diesel (123 body style) when it comes to that pick up and go.  While the turbo did help the diesel, it was still a bit sluggish.

How much did I pay for Helga?  $700.00.  How much is Helga worth?  $700 to me.  However, the State of Washington Department of Revenue thinks she is worth $11,500!  I’m now in the processing of printing up For Sale ads from the internet to get them to be reasonable in their taxation of my car.  The insurance NADA book isn’t much help because their value is up there as well.  When you do look on the internet, this car is hard to find and not many for sale to compare it to.  The 420SEL and 560SEL were the larger and more luxurious models that overshadowed this model.

 Since this is a hobby car and not my primary method of transportation, the car insurance is actually reasonable with rate quotes around $161 to $225 per year.  I plan on driving her less than 5000 miles a year.

Sleeping on the Diagonal

Random Ruminations on Single Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wine

S.D. Lange ~Erotica~

Where Kink Meets Romance

Sexy Romance Novels

Novels that leave us breathless

In10se

My View Through a Cracked Lens.

making peace with the wrong side of 40

My midlife crisis made me want to live simply. Unfortunately, there isn't much simple about it most days.

New England Nomad

All Things New England

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Abbey Co.

Lifestyle Blogger, Big-Time Foodie, Toddler Mom, USCG Certified Captain, Baker of Too Many Sweets, and Total Northwest Lifestyle Fanatic

The Coffee Life

Writing | Books | Caffeine | Life

The Tawdry Tales of Tess

Memoirs, Musings and Advice from a Very Naughty Girl

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

The Brasharian

style and culture blog

Appetite for Sexual Destruction

Welcome to the Jungle that is online dating in your 30s...

Everything Southern

lifestyle blog

joeyackles2

Hopeless & Waiting

Kristina Gallo - Rebellious rules by Kristina Gallo

psychology, society, relations, business, sarcasm

UpChucking Words

Puking up Poetry, One Verse at a Time

%d bloggers like this: