Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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An Open Letter to Every Moron Parent Who Drops their Kids Off at School-


Dear Idiot Parent:

I’ve been dropping off my various kids at our elementary school for the past several years and I fully understand how this simple drop off system works.  You drive up to the school, you drop off your child, they shut the door, and you drive away.  However, you (the complete idiot parent) can’t seem to understand the simple concept that if you stop, all the cars behind you also have to stop.  Allow me to expand on how traffic flows at our school and in the rest of the world of cars, trucks, and motorcycles work in real life.

It really isn’t too hard to figure out that if there are no cars in front of you, you move your vehicle all the way to the end of the drop off lane. You don’t stop at the beginning of the drop off lane to let your kid out when there are roughly twenty cars behind you and three buses all trying to get in to the school parking lot at the same time.  I’m sure you never noticed them as you only had to drive 5 mph because there were so many cars ahead of you doing the exact same thing as you: dropping off their kid at school.  This is the part when you drive to the end of the drop off lane, and then let your kid out.

And Yes, that was me behind you blaring my truck horn when you stop at the beginning of the drop off lane.  Do you know why?  Frankly, it is because you are stupid.  Why kind of moron thinks that is a good place to drop off their kid?  Oh, that would be you.   Like I previously stated, you need to drive to the end of the drop off lane so the rest of the twenty cars can drive in behind you.  It isn’t that hard of a concept to understand.  EVERYDAY, it is the same system and routine.  It isn’t that hard to figure out.

I think this is a good time to mention that you are also the same stupid parent that doesn’t bother to have their child buckled into the backseat or puts four kids in the backseat (where everyone knows has only three seatbelts).  Unlike you, I’m not a moron.  I can clearly see that when your kid is leaning forward in his seat that he isn’t wearing his seatbelt.  And I can see this when we are still a quarter of a mile away from the school.  Can you please strap your kid in?  Use your adult brain just a little bit more in the morning?

Now, I know my school isn’t the only place where this happens.  I understand we all have moron parents at our own various schools across the world and there is nothing we can do about it.  Sure you can honk your car horn like I do but they still don’t understand why they are morons.  You could yell at them like I did when the mom blocked the crosswalk and the 50 students and parents couldn’t cross the street.  Half the school is trying to cross the street and she is blocking the crosswalk.  Brilliant!  Simply brilliant!

As always, your comments are welcome and enjoyed by all that read my blog.  So fire off some tad bits of wisdom!

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9 responses to “An Open Letter to Every Moron Parent Who Drops their Kids Off at School-

  1. YourMotherIsADirtyGirl March 3, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Haha!!! Brilliant! I see this everyday and can’t understand for the life of me why other people don’t get it. I feel your pain. LOL

  2. jeepinjoel March 3, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    Then after dropping their kids off at school, they go to our local QFC, (older neighborhood store, small parking lot) and drive the wrong way against the arrows.

  3. Shelley March 3, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    I’ve forwarded this blog to all those parents who are guilty of stopping at the beginning of the queue. You’re welcome. 🙂

    • Kevin March 4, 2014 at 7:26 pm

      I can’t wait for you to blog about stupid RV drivers. I always imagine Robin Williams and the movie “RV” as the truth of how your life is now.

  4. Adie September 5, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    Luv it! I work at a school, I have to watch the front drop off where parents actually have to park in front of the school, but I have to block the parking lot where the busses come int because idiot people can’t read a “do not enter busses only!” sign. They feel it applies to everyone but them. Anyway, we used to stop traffic to let large groups of kids cross, now we can’t because a PARENT complained to the local P.D. and we were told if we stop traffic and someone rear ends someone, it’s our fault (because we are not crossing guards and the city cannot “afford” to hire crossing guards for our school. SO basically, we have to just “observe” the morons that stop in the middle of the street and drop their kids off OR they choose to cross the middle of the street because they are too lazy to use the crosswalk. We’ve had parents cuss us out, threaten us and a few of us have almost been run over. The police deportment will dispatch bike cops to park and observe, but usually everyone is on their best when they are around. Once they are gone, they return to being the fucktards they are. All we can do is sigh and hope no one gets injured or hurt ever! 😦 Thanks for your story!

    • Kevin September 9, 2014 at 7:32 am

      We are lucky here. They use to have city police an state troopers giving out tickets. Now we have a speeding ticket camera at our school and one other in the district. The city made over $700000 last year. But not to worry, we still have lots of morons!!

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