Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Monthly Archives: February 2014

Father Daughter Roller Coaster Adverture Trip

Last week, I took my 11 year old daughter on a nice Father-Daughter trip to California for about six days for a Roller Coaster Ride Trip.  She is the only one in the family that enjoys the rollercoasters and other scary thrill rides that you find at the amusement parks.  I personally like the roller coasters the most.  My least favorite amusement park rides are the drop zone rides.

Sure...some of us were having fun!

Sure…some of us were having fun!

Discovery Kindgdom

The drop zone rides are the ones that go up 100, 200, 300, whatever feet into the air and drop you.  You are strapped in with a metal roll bar seat and there is no chance of falling out.  That still doesn’t calm me.  They hoist you in the air vertically straight up with your feet dangling.  At the top, they allow you to enjoy the view for a few seconds allowing just enough time for you to tell yourself “Hey, this isn’t so bad….” Then you free fall down rapidly (it is gravity after all) and come to a fairly gentle stop at the bottom.  I just don’t like them.

My second least favorite rides are swinging and/or spinning rides.  They don’t scare me but they do make me sick if they go too long.  I can handle the inverted rolls on a roller coaster but the swinging back and forth motion doesn’t agree with my stomach as at all.

I enjoy the roller coaster and I lean towards the thrill of the tight ride of the metal coasters.  I will ride wooden coasters but I feel I’m bouncing around a little too much to be really comfortable.  Don’t get me wrong; if it is a roller coaster or a thrill ride I’m up for it.

We left Saturday February 15 and flew into Sacramento.  We have some friends that moved down there a few years back and it was an excellent visit with them.  We drove over to Vallejo, CA and went to Six Flag’s Discovery Kingdom Theme park.  Some of the exhibits were not open (like the water rides) but this was fine for us.  The weather report said rain but we ended up with sunshine and pleasant temperatures in the 70s.

This park wasn’t bad and we didn’t have long crazy lines due to the time of year.  I’m not too interested in the animal side of the park which didn’t appear to be running too many shows.  Get out of my way; I’m here for the thrill rides.  Our favorite ride at Discovery Kingdom was Medusa with the Superman ride coming in a close second.  On Medusa, if you can sit in the front, it is definitely worth it.  I think Superman was overall awesome and all seats are pretty enjoyable.

Superman Ride at Discovery Kingdom

Superman Ride at Discovery Kingdom

In my next blog, I’ll talk more about our vacation trip and bore you to tears.  I’m assuming my readership will rapidly drop off and I’ll be writing an online diary to myself than a blog for the masses.  At least I’ll always have my imaginary stalker Cyndi to read my blog.
Good bye for now Discovery Kingdom

How to Stay Demotivated in Life: Worthless Advice that is Great for Years to Come

Sigh…it is so easy to stay motivated when you have a bunch of positive people around you, a stable work environment, and a loving family.  But is that really the best you deserve in life?  To be a highly motivated individual that contributes positively to the world?  A person who is chipper and upbeat; who gets knocked down but still gets up again?

Let’s get unmotivated and demotivate ourselves, shall we?  Here are some worthless advice tips to help you become the loser your girlfriend’s parents warned her about.

Hang Around Losers

Remember how when you were young you had goals and dreams?  No? Me either.  One of best ways to get those silly dreams out of your head is to hang out with losers.  Now, you can find them at your local bar, in friend’s basement, or maybe down at the local park.  The only requirement is for you to stop trying to make yourself better by hanging out in studying groups, book discussion groups, or trade groups.  Just accept that these people are the best individuals you will ever find in life and you’ll never do any better.

Find a Career You Hate and Stick with It!

Remember you took that job as a temporary gig until you found your dream job?  You promise yourself that you’ll do the best you can at it but it is only temporary….  Now, here you are 3, 5, or even 12 years down the line and you are still there in hell staring at your egg salad sandwich (yummy).  So much for keeping your eyes and ears open for a better job opportunity, right?  You might as well stay in your terrible job until your retire…or your company goes bankrupt and your meager retirement funds disappear faster than a donut at a fat farm.  And don’t you dare join a trade group that might help further your career; that might motivate you to better your career and actually enjoy your job.

Watch Mindless Reality Television

Whoa, Einstein…put that book down and turn on your TV.  Why read a book when you can watch a bunch of worthless TV all day long.  As soon as you get home from work, mark sure you turn on that TV and just watch TV.  Maybe learn how to make a bird cage out of willow branches for the imaginary bird you will never own.

Eat Junk Food

Nothing makes you feel like a total loser that that chocolate bar you just pigged down.  Oh, it tastes wonderful as it melts in your mouth.  What is the saying…ounce on the lips, a pound on the hip.  Skip the salads, fresh fruit, and clear water.  Instead focus on yourself and your personal enjoyment.  Your kids love you no matter what and they’ll love you even more when you are dead far too early and you never know your grandchildren.

Take Up Smoking

Don’t listen to all those naysayers, millions of people smoke and they are just fine.  Besides smoking helps keep our medical-industrial-chemical-pharmaceutical overlords in business and money flowing through the economy.  Smoking adds to high blood pressure, lung cancer, throat cancer, and a boat load of other fun diseases to keep your doctor busy for years to come!   See?  Bad habits can be good for someone!

Never Try to Improve Anything

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.  Remember how the big rage was continuous improvement?  It was the idea that you should always be trying to improve yourself, your company, your product.  Why?  Why bother?  You just look like a go getter, a mover and shaker.  You don’t need that.  Let things be the same.  Don’t go back to school either and try to improve yourself.  Stay stagnant.

Never Complete Your “To Do List”

Lists are great demotivational tools!  You can look at how long it is and how many things you have failed to do…again….everyday….forever….  My worthless advice is to put that list up on your bathroom mirror so you can see every day how you aren’t accomplishing anything at all.

Well, I’m glad you managed to waste more of your time (and your employer’s time) by demotivating yourself by reading my post for today.  Now, share your witty comments and personal best demotivating tips below in my comment section.  Come one….you know you want to!  At least hit the “Like” button so I know you feel worse than when you started reading this.

Why it is OK to Scare Kids….(and other big babies)

Would you want to date this guy’s daughter?

Why it is OK to Scare Kids….(and other big babies)

My wife tends to disagree with me on some of my parenting theories.  She thinks that I shouldn’t be the big, bad, scary and intimidating father to my daughter’s (who is age 11) friends.  I, of course, disagree.  I’m not mean, big, bad or scary to my daughter’s female friends…just to her little male friends.

I want those kids to fear me.  I want them to know that if they mess with my little girl that they will have to deal with me.  Is that really wrong?  To be honest, I’m not threating them or verbally scaring them….I just look scary.  That is the key…look scary.  Nothing wrong with looking scary, right?

Sure, I’m a very articulate individual who enjoys a good conversation but sometimes the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.  He who talks first, loses right?  I want to be that father that is sitting in his chair when the daughter comes in with her friends and the boy just looks at me and knows he should be fearful.  He should think “Hmm, I probably don’t want to upset her dad…he just looks scary.”

It isn’t like my daughter is dating so I shouldn’t worry….yet.  However, why not plan for the future and lay the foundation now.  The farmer doesn’t wait until the summer to plant his crops; he plants his seeds in the winter.  I’m planning for the future.  I’m planting the seeds of fear and respect in the minds of these 11 year old boys now so they know not to mess with me (or my daughter later).  Hopefully, when they get into middle school and high school my reputation as a scary, frightening father grows into an almost unbelievable legend that will be passed down from generation to generation.

Of course, my professional as a school photographer isn’t exactly a job that scares kids.  I also don’t have any tattoos, nor do I talk “ghetto” or “white trash”.  The best I can do is speak Hawaiian Pidgin English from my school days on Kauai.  Furthermore, it’s not like I’m from SEAL Team Six or on the SWAT team. The only scary thing about me is my bald head and the fact I practice aikido (a non-violent martial art).  I suppose someone unfamiliar with it could possibly think I am a weapon of death and destruction.

Any thoughts on making myself a little bit more intimidating to the youth of today?  Any worthless advice, tips, suggestions, ideas?  Come on….leave a comment or two!  And thanks for reading my Blog of Worthless Advice!

Snow Day in Seattle! A day of Death, Destruction, and Mayhem!

 It is a Snow Day here in the Seattle area.  It snowed roughly 3-4 inches around our house.  Sadly, it is quickly disappearing due to the temperature rising to a blazing 36 degrees.  What is a person to do?  Enjoy it the best you can.

 We don’t get a lot of snow here at 500 feet elevation.  Sure, we have a few wonderful mountain ranges around here (mainly the Olympic Mountains and the Cascade Mountain Range) that you can go and enjoy the snow.  However, we have had a terrible winter for snow and the skiing areas just recently opened up.  It is a pleasure to have snow today for us.  And by this evening it will be gone and the kids will be off to school (on time) tomorrow.

 In the meantime, I was able to make a snowman with my daughter, we then launched a successful snowball attack against the neighbor kids, and finished off with a nice lunch inside the house.  Nothing beats a nice warm house after getting all wet and cold outside on a snowy day.

 Later on, the whole family is headed to the “Twisted Cabaret Comedy Show” for the afternoon show.  I’ll give a full report when I return…or I manage to remember to blog about it.

 If you are bored or need a reason to express yourself, drop a few comments in the comments section and share your wisdom.

I don’t have a job here but I’m still Employee of the Month because I rock it!

Today, I was made Employee of the Month at Gyro Café Seattle.  This is more of testimony to my wonderful work ethic and awesome customer service skills because I’m not even a real employee there!

This will no doubt make my cousin Kim extremely jealous because she has worked there longer than I have.  She also is a real employee and does more work than I could ever do because I’m just an imaginary employee.  However, even as an employee for a whole hour and 15 minutes, I set the customer service bar high.  It comes down to my superior customer service skills and my ability to adjust and adapt to work situations.  My lack of knowledge on how to operate a Point of Sale computer did make the task a bit scary at first, however, I always stay calm under pressure.  Even as I was thrown into the job as cashier, I truly rocked it and bought a whole new level of excellence to the customer service department at Gyro Café Seattle

I darn well say that the Yelp reviews posted today will be all five stars because of me.

Not to worry, I didn’t handle any food.  I only handle the sales; the money; the life blood of the restaurant.  With my great attitude and cheerful outlook on life, customers are naturally inclined to want to order from me.  They can’t help but know that by placing their order with me, it will be delicious.  That is the way I roll in any establishment I work at; I make it delicious.

Sure, you could say that the customers walking through the door already like the awesome food created by my cousin Jessica’s husband Simon, but I think we know the real reason people came in today: Me!

If you happen to be in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle, you’ll find Gyro Café Seattle located across from the South Building of the Group Health Medical Center.  Here is the address so you can pop it into your GPS tomorrow for lunch: 107 15th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98112

You can’t go wrong with the Lamb/Beef Gyro.  It’s affordable and quite tasty.  One of my favorites so you know it has to be good because I’m recommending it.

If you are looking for a positive change in your business, workplace, government office, or your home, I am available for consulting.

Until you have the nerve to call me, you can always leave your comments below.

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