Tuesday’s Brownie Meeting – will my daughter behave?

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I forgot to talk about my recent Brownie Meeting this past Tuesday evening. As you may remember, my daughter is supposedly the loud, insubordinate, back talking, rebel of the Brownie Troop. She already has a two page police blotter on her behavior written up by Troop Leader J. You can read the letter here at this blog post

Before this meeting, I had a talk with my daughter about her behavior. As we were driving to the meeting, I reminded her and her friend to be on their best behavior during the meeting. She did express her concerns to me that she felt Troop Leader J doesn’t like her. I told her that you just need to kill her with kindness. If someone wants to find every possible thing wrong, they will. They are looking for you to mess up. Instead, you must be sweet, kind, and polite.

I told her that when she saw the Troop Leader to say “Hello Mrs. J, it’s so nice to see you again.” And like a good little Girl Scout, she did it and Mrs. J sucked it up.

Nothing annoys mean people more than when you are nice to them. In their twisted sense of self-worth, this diffuses them. You take away their power and in turn you don’t allow them to bother you. They can’t be hostile to a person being nice to them; it defeats the purpose of being mean.

Overall, the meeting went over well with out a conflict or a hitch. We had a guest coming in to thank the girls for some craft projects they had made for the veterans at the Seattle VA hospital. She was a good guest for the girls to meet because she was 40% blind, a US veteran, and very upbeat person. She showed the girls how she is uses her walking cane and let them try it out for themselves.

Now, my daughter’s behavior was fine this whole meeting. I did however have to step in and tell a few girls not to write on the white board and to stop playing with the puppet masks. I’ll be writing up those girls into my own police blotter. Shockingly, one of them was J’s own daughter! Curiously, J failed to notice her own daughter disobeying the rules during the meeting. Troop Leader J strictly enforces the rules with other girls yet turns a blind eye to her daughters own behavior. Clearly, I’ll have to write this own one down in my little police blotter.

My daughter’s overall behavior is nothing compare to some of the other girls in the troop. Some of them are loud and say things that are mean. One girl made a point to comment that she had more patches than my daughter. I overheard this and my daughter also told me about it. I told her not to worry about it. She might be pointing out a fact and yes, it was rude, but don’t let comments like than bother you.

I guess I could have said something but I don’t think it really would have matter. This girl says stupid things like that all the time. Her mouth has no filter. Besides, I’ll be using her as an example when I give my little introduction speech at the next meeting about being kind to others. I’m also going to talk about not writing on the white board after I told other girls not to write on it. All of this will be looped into Troop Leader J’s own comments where she’ll know that you really shouldn’t be so nit picky if you don’t want it to happen to you.

Remember, don’t step into the cow pasture if you don’t want to get your boots dirty.

Girl Scout Brownie Update #2

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Girl Scout Brownie Update #2

Last night, I attended another class in the Girl Scout leaders training series. Since I have decided to become a leader in my daughter’s Brownie Troop, I am taking all the training necessary to be one. I’ve been tapped to be the Outdoor Specialist (actually title) in our troop. I could also be the actually Troop Leader with all this training if the need arises.

Since I am an Eagle Scout and still active in the Boy Scouts, the Outdoor Training shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m looking forward to it.

This one was Leader Essentials and overall, I pretty impressed with the Girl Scout program. It has some great short term and long term goals and the program is there to raise the girls into strong young ladies.

Currently, the Girl Scouts are in a transition phase with all the badges, patches, and awards. This makes the leader’s role a little confusing because you don’t quite now what you are suppose to be doing for advancement. As in my previous class, I learned that the current Try It patches are being phased out while at the same time, the Journey program was introduced. Confused? Me too! Luckily, I wasn’t the only one confused and this confusion was cleared up last night.

This evening, I am headed back up to Seattle for my Outdoor 1 class. The commute yesterday wasn’t too bad (only one accident on Interstate 5) and I’m hoping tonight will be the same or better.

The big Girl Scout training adventure for me will be my Outdoor 2 training which will actually take place outside. I’ll be headed to one of the Girl Scout camps for two nights for the last weekend of March. Yes, March in the Pacific Northwest is still wet and cold. However, I’ve heard we’ll be housed in open air shelters. We won’t be wet but we’ll still be cold. Since I am a male in Girl Scouting, I’ll be probably getting my own shelter which will be sweet!

Good Morning! It’s cat puke for Valentine’s Day!

~ K ~ Leave a comment

This morning, I discovered cat puke outside my office door. Oh yeah! A few years back, I built my office behind my main house and to access it, I must leave my main house and walk a short distance to my office. Normally, I don’t mind this commute. However, when you have cat puke in front of your office door, it makes the commute less attractive.

I figured I’d just squirt off the cat’s gift with a little garden hose action. I walked over to the garden hose, put the nozzle on, and took the coil of hose off the hanger. Of course, it is raining and I’m getting wetter than I had planned. I’m also wearing my slippers. I turn the water on, start dragging the hose, it gets caught on something and I almost fall flat on my back. Cursing, I go back to wear the spot where the hose is caught and proceed to sink into our wet lawn. My slippers are now getting muddy and wet on the inside. Arrghhh.

In an elegant manner fit for a ballerina, I manage to free the hose, clean off the cat’s gift from my office porch (spraying myself with the hose as well) and miss the dog piles in the yard. Oh right! Mission accomplished! I wind the hose back up, again it gets caught on something while I do this and finish this unpleasant task with a flurry.

Now, my favorite slippers are wet, I’m wet, and I still haven’t made it into my office. The kicker of this whole thing is that we don’t even own a cat! It had to be one of the 12 cats that live within the four houses in our cul-de-sac. We have so many cats I feel like we are a pet store. This is really when I was living back on Kauai or least there on vacation at my parent’s guest house www.makanacrest.com.

I almost forgot it was Valentine’s Day! Speaking of which, I wonder if my parents have any weddings today. They live on Kauai (in the State of Hawaii) and operate www.kauaiweddings.com.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Making Money Online…can a small fish survive?

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Jeez, where do you start with building your virtual online business? I have a few websites for my current business ventures (www.hellriegelstudio.com, www.kevinre.com, www.redstarhomes.com, www.kevinhellriegel.com) but these are mostly informational websites that don’t sell anything (except the http://www.hellriegelstudio.com has links to my client’s portrait images). I want to build a website that has e-commerce component to it and will generate money even when I’m not there. But then again, isn’t that everyone’s dream?

Considering the real estate market is in the toilet and all my equity (and my net worth) has disappeared in the real estate crash, I’d like to have some kind of additional income coming in besides my primary business of photography.

Some people have told me that I should get into writing and copywriting. I wouldn’t mind doing that. I enjoy my simple blog and the joy it brings to others (in my arrogant opinion). However, could I write for others as well as I do myself? And is my writing much better than the average “Joe” out there? I must admit that I do try to spell correctly (thanks to spell check!) and get my thoughts out in a concise and easy to understand matter.

I also enjoy making direct mail pieces and writing the copy for my promotional internet pieces. However, I don’t know much about copywriting in general and how to market myself as a copywriter. I don’t have a lot of experience outside my own website and marketing pieces when it comes to copywriting. I suppose that with every new adventure, you need to start somewhere (even if you don’t know exactly where that starting point is).

Ideally, I’d like to make money online by building a new website and calling it something like Hellriegel Creative Services. Then again, no one can spell “Hellriegel” so that wouldn’t work that well. If you take some time and put some thought into, my current Hellriegel’s Foto 1 isn’t exactly easy to remember right now. I’ll have to thank my Dad for that easy to remember name.

Perhaps it would be better to stick to a generic sounding name like HCS or HC Services. Easy to remember…maybe something like Hell Services? Maybe KGHServices?

If any of you dear blog readers have some ideas, drop me an email or leave them in a comment here on this page.

Making Money Online isn’t too easy. I also don’t want a name that sounds like a fly by night web operation located off the coast of Jamaica. Hmmm, “SuperKevintellsall.com”: a website about how to cry yourself to sleep with your empty bank account and your upside down investment properties!

I guess I’ll keep working on the website name and sign up for some more affiliate marketing websites! Oh, and I can work on my self-help ideas as well! I can see my future now (that’s called “visualization”) and it is bright (maybe I’m looking into the sun?)

As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome!

Brownie (Girl Scout) Leader Update

~ K ~ 8 Comments

“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my ax.” Abraham Lincoln

As you know, I received a nasty letter from my daughter’s Brownie troop leaders and was quite upset with them about the overall tone of the letter. Frankly, the letter read like a police blotter on everything my daughter had done wrong over the past two Brownie troop meetings. Honestly, I don’t think my daughter is really as bad as this letter portrayed her to be. Of course, every parent thinks their child is perfect. I know she isn’t perfect but whose child is? Well, besides the troop leader’s daughter, right?

Since I was quite upset about this letter, I did think it was for the best to meet with the two Brownie troop leaders in person and discuss the letter and my daughter’s behavior. Note: To read the letter and my response that I almost sent, please refer to my pervious blog “Is my child really that bad?” Now, I did hold back on sending that letter because I thought I should meet these two ladies face to face. It was a sharp response letter and I’m not sure if they could have handled it. When I’m upset, I tend to have a critical tongue. One might say it is a bit blunt and to the point.

I did have to send two requests for this meeting. Upon arrival, only one of the leaders was there. We’ll call her “J” and the other one (we’ll call her “T”) was late. J led me to believe with her spoken comments that she thought T might have some reservations meeting with me. Hmmm, already setting the stage for a confrontation with me? Did she think that I was going to off the handle on them?

Before this meeting, I was prepared to pull my daughter from the troop and either look for another troop or start our own troop. However, my daughter did convey to me that she liked her friends in the troop and did want to stay in Girl Scouts. To be honest, I’m not a quitter and either is my family. I might lose a battle here and there, but in the end I will win the war. Overall, I want my daughter to enjoy her experience in Girl Scouts yet I didn’t want her to be afraid of the leader. Girl Scouts is supposed to be fun; not nit picky. I reflected that I have made a commitment to Boys Scouts with my son and therefore, I should make a commitment to my daughter’s Girl Scout experience as well. With this in mind, I filled out my adult leader application, signed the volunteer agreement, and faxed it in on Friday (prior to my Sunday afternoon meeting). I’m proud to say I am now a registered Girl Scout leader!

The conversation drifted around like a life raft in the South Pacific. J likes to talk and express her unique opinion and her parenting views. She was prepared to go on the defensive with a copy of the behavior contract my wife had signed. Her trump card was this behavior contract. Her mistake was the fact she had it in her hands prepared to whip it out if I started to counter that my daughter’s behavior wasn’t all that bad. However, she left it out where I could see it. I knew I should avoid saying anything that she’d be able refer to the contract and argue that we signed a behavior contact.

Besides, as a new Girl Scout leader, I have to work with her over the next several years. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That is why I always like to compliment my opponents and agree with their position before introducing my position. Since my position is right (and superior), I like to lure my opponents into a false sense of security. I believe that T really didn’t think that the letter wasn’t that bad. Clearly, J had written it and T had just signed her name to it. T didn’t seem too worried about this meeting (contrarily to what J wanted me to believe). We had never had a conflict with T in the past and currently don’t have a problem with her. She is a nice person and honestly wants her daughter to have a great Girl Scout experience.

J on the other hand is another whole other matter. She likes to hide behind the veil of a “detailed” individual. This is her reason and justification of being mean to other people. She thinks that by detailing out all the faults and problems she perceives, it is perfectly alright to point out these out to you because she is “helping” you. Again, everyone has faults and constructive criticism can be a useful tool; when applied correctly.

J does not accept that all people are different. Her world is black and white. She draws her lines in the sand and will not adjust her thinking no matter how wrong she is. It is cemented her brain that her thinking is correct. She can not fathom nor see the other side of an argument. Due to this narrow minded position, she thinks of only one possible outcome: her outcome. This causes conflict with others and leaves her at a serious disadvantage. On the contrast, I can see an argument, a counter argument, and another five possible arguments. She sees her own opinion as the only correct and possible outcome.

This behavior is misguided and convoluted. J is a bully whether she likes it or not. She might believe she is helpful but she isn’t. Her thoughts, words, and actions define her behavior and tell us she is a bully. It is unacceptable behavior and I will not stand idly to the side and let this behavior continued unchecked.

I informed T and J that I thought they were overwhelmed. T agreed with me and J stated that it was hard to get people to volunteer. I agreed with that. I even apologized for not helping out more. I then informed them that I was going to help out more and come to every meeting from now on. T thought this was a wonderful idea and thanked me. J wasn’t as happy and was quick to inform me that I had to be a registered adult leader to be a leader.

Here is what separates the complainers from doers. I wish I could properly express the look on J’s face when I told her I had already faxed in my adult leader application, volunteer agreement, and background check. Her look of “Oh shit…he is coming on board whether I approve or not” was priceless. If you don’t want to get your shoes dirty, then don’t step out in the cow pasture. Don’t send me a letter complaining about my daughter and expect me to roll over and do nothing. That isn’t going to happen.

If there is a problem; I’ll correct it. It is my utmost pleasure to correct the problem and eliminate the friction it is causing.

It was quite delightful to let them know that I had scheduled the following day, my three hour Introduction Course at the Girl Scout office. I believe that J was caught off guard by this. She thought she could stall me out and I’d roll over and go away like other fathers when it comes to their daughters. Really, I’m just father that doesn’t attend any meetings and has no interest in Girl Scouting, right?

Her perception was that I was going to complain that my daughter was being treated unfairly, she shouldn’t be so mean, and I would have my say. She would successfully deflect my complanients when she referred to the behavior contract in her hand. This plan had come screeching to a halt. Instead, I had offered to help. She now found herself in a position of either accepting my help (that she had earlier agreed that she needed) or not accepting it. How could she not accept my help? How could she turn down my years of experience?

In my humble opinion, T and I left the meeting satisfied with the outcome. J had other thoughts about the outcome of the meeting. I didn’t know this until the next day at my Introduction to Girl Scout training at the Girl Scout office.

The following day, training started out quite well with Wendy our local Girl Scout leader. She is very knowledgeable, easy to work with, and overall has a nice personality. She thanked me for volunteering and getting involved in my daughter’s Girl Scout career. I told her that I was an Eagle Scout, I was my son’s Cub Scout den leader for 5 years (with 11 Cub Scouts), and currently a registered assistant scoutmaster with my son’s Boy Scout troop. Furthermore, I know Girl Scouts is not Boy Scouts and I will do everything that the Girl Scouts require of me to be the best leader possible. I have no problem attending classes and camps to make sure I fulfill the needed Girl Scout leader requirements. I will do whatever it takes to be a great Girl Scout leader.

About an hour into our training, Wendys let me know that J had called her about me! She said J had some concerns about me becoming a Girl Scout leader. Can you believe that? The question of why I wanted to be a Girl Scout leader had also been brought up by my wife. My wife asked me why I was becoming a Girl Scout leader. Reflecting on my reasons, I can honestly say that it boils down to this: Scouting is supposed to be fun. Why shouldn’t I give my children equal attention? Whether it is a Boy Scout or Girl Scout activities, I should be there for both of them. As a parent, shouldn’t I protect my children? Isn’t becoming a Girl Scout leader taking that step toward becoming an involved parent? Is being a part of my daughter’s Scouting career a bad thing? With my commitment to Scouting and its values, shouldn’t I pay it forward?

I have gained a great deal over the years from Boy Scouts and I live my life by the Boy Scout Oath and the Boy Scout Law. One of the twelve points of the Boy Scout Law is: A Scout is helpful. I see this as an opportunity to live up to promise I made to myself many years back. A Scout is helpful. My daughter’s Brownie Troop needs help and I’m here to help.

Upon conclusion of my training, I did give Wendy the letter I received from J and T. I told her that this encouraged me to be more active Her impression of J is that J gets bogged down in the details and J forgets that scouting is supposed to be fun. I told her that I had shown the letter to two other Girl Scout troop leaders and they said the same thing: Girl Scouts is supposed to be fun. The letter J wrote didn’t express this. They both said that this leader needs to get a grip when it comes to dealing with 7 and 8 year old girls.

This past week on Wednesday night, I went to the local council’s area meeting. J couldn’t make it because she was feeling “under the weather”. It probably would have burned her up inside if she knew I was there. She didn’t have a chance to tell everyone about me before I made my first Girl Scout leader appearance. As the only male there, I’m sure I’ll be remembered. J will now face an uphill battle if she plans to paint a bad picture of me. I’m the only father willing to be a part of my daughter’s Girl Scout experience and I’m willing to come to this Leader’s meeting to prove it.

Our next Girl Scout Brownie meeting is scheduled for Tuesday February 15. I can’t wait! I plan to make quite a splash with my introduction speech to the parents and the girls present. It should be a night to remember!

My run in with Jim Bibby City of Burien Code Enforcement Officer

~ K ~ 7 Comments

City of Burien Employee Jim Bibby – a man who doesn’t do his homework!

“A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it, is committing another mistake.” -Confucius

Earlier this week, I received a letter from the code enforcement officer Jim Bibby of the City of Burien stating that my business doesn’t exist and I need to take my business sign down.

What?  Really?  So my City of Burien business license is worthless?  Why do I bother obtaining one every year?  Why was it issued to me by the City of Burien if my business doesn’t really exist?  Hmmm, do I get a refund then?

Jim Bibby doesn’t like me.  I had a run in with him in 2006 about this same sign.  He wouldn’t listen to me so I went over his head to get some answers and some real customer service.  I think he didn’t like that.  I didn’t cower up and do as he said.  He was clearly wrong then and he is wrong now.

I had another run in with him in 2008 in regards to a “For Rent” sign I had posted for an empty apartment we had.  He stated that I had to have a professional real estate sign posted, not a homemade one.  This is even if we (as owners of the property) wanted to rent it out ourselves instead of having a real estate agency do it.  (Please note: I am a Washington State licensed real estate broker).  We ended up post a sign in the window and it rented fairly quickly despite of Jim Bibby’s and the City of Burien’s actions.  Needless to say, the City of Burien is clearly anti-business and anti-landlord in that respect.  They probably hate cute puppies too.

People like Jim Bibby don’t help the City of Burien; they harm it.  Jim Bibby wants to impose his idea of what my photography business should look like onto me.  Jim Bibby stated in his telephone conversation to me that my photography business doesn’t look like a photography business.  Excuse me?  What?  Jim Bibby has moved from being a code enforcement officer to a photography business expert?  When did that happen?  Did I miss something?

I did ask him in his vast knowledge as a photography business owner that he knows exactly what a photography business looks like, right?  He told me he has never owned a photography business!  The how is he suppose to know what one looks like?  He sold shoes before he had a job as the code enforcement officer (according to the West Seattle Herald).  I told him that you can not pigeon hole all photography businesses into one small minded category.  Some photographers create passports, others photograph weddings, and still others like to strictly do commercial photography work.  Thus, we are not all the same and our businesses are all different.

You can say the same thing about people.  I have been mistaken for a cop a number of times.  I guess I have that “cop” look to me….but I’m not a cop.

What truly upsets me is that Jim Bibby has the gall to tell me what my photography business should look like.  He is a public servant working to enforce the code.  He is not an interior decorator designing a photography business.  If I want to paint the inside of my walls black with pink elephants and put photos of kitty cats in orange dresses, I’ll do it.  If I want to take my equipment home every night, I will.  If I want to work out of my studio some days and take other days off, I will.  For Jim Bibby to tell me that I’m not a photography business is beyond his scope of expertise and his job description.

The thing is, I share space with another business and I’m not over at the studio every day.  That is the nature of my photography business…I don’t have to be there every day.  I meet a lot of clients out on location and not at my Burien studio.  That is the way I run my business and that is the way I like it.  If I want to work from home, I’ll do that.  My photography business is strictly “by appointment only”.  If you don’t have an appointment, I probably won’t be there if you stop by unannounced.

If Jim Bibby did his job correctly and the way the taxpayers pay him to do it, he would have properly researched that I do have a LEGAL business license issued by the City of Burien and I do have a LEGAL business license from the State of Washington.  I have had these for years.  I pay my taxes.  I collect sales tax in the area my business is based in and forward it to the State of Washington as I am required to do.  I’m not trying to make waves here, I’m trying to run my business ethically and support my family financially.

Instead, Jim Bibby wastes my time and the taxpayer’s time and money by sending me a certified letter stating that I need to remove my LEGAL sign.  Yes, it is legal according to the laws and codes of the City of Burien!

In my conversation with Jim Bibby today, I asked him point blank: Do I have a business license in Burien?  The answer is yes.  Does that make my sign legal?  His answer: Yes.

Well, I guess you have your answer don’t you?  I informed this fact to code enforcement officer Jim Bibby.  I don’t think he was too happy with me.  I don’t think Jim likes it when someone points out he is wrong.

I also told him that he was harassing me and I didn’t like it.  He can’t tell me what my business is supposed to look like.  I’m not operating a pet store and claiming it is a photography studio.  I operate a photography business and I take my photography equipment with me on location.  If I want my business to be empty, it can be. My equipment doesn’t have to be all set up in the studio if I don’t want it to be.  In fact, the other business I share space with just painted and installed new floors.  The place looks awesome!  My equipment couldn’t stay set up during a remodel anyway. 

So Jim Bibby, Code Enforcement Officer of the City of Burien, please do your homework before you harass me again.  Otherwise, I will file a restraining order against you and have you arrested by the City of Burien Police Department for harassment.

Is my child really that bad?

~ K ~ 6 Comments

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” -Confucius

Recently, I received a letter from one of my daughter’s Brownie Troop leaders.  It wasn’t a very positive letter.  I fully understand that I am not perfect nor is my daughter perfect.  In fact, everyone has their own personal faults and issues that they need to work through.  Life is a series of challenges and lessons.  How you choose to deal with everyday issues and life in general is entirely up to you.  You will make mistakes in judging others, your thought process will be flawed, and how you choose to solve problems might be ultimately incorrect.  You will embark on worthless causes and choose the wrong battles to fight.  The worst part is that you will be totally unprepared and unaware that you are wrong.

 That is until you meet me.

 You will draw your line in the sand and begin your battle.  Your will justify your attacks and actions with the excuse that you are a teacher.  You will make your lists, point out all the wrong doings, and in your twisted logic, attempt to correct them to your way of thinking.

 If you plan on bringing a war to me, just be prepared to be in for the long haul.  I will be into it until the bitter end.  As Rambo says “I’ll give you a war you’ll never forget”.  I will not back down and I’ll defend my position no matter what.  I will make you my hobby and waste as much time as I like and enjoy defeating you.  Most likely, you are wrong.  I will be your worst nightmare and you will be defeated.

 On that pleasant note, as I told you before I received a letter that stated that my daughter is disrespectful and disruptive.  She challenges her leaders and questions authority.  She is also eight years old. 

As I previously stated, my daughter isn’t perfect, however she isn’t a total crazed, disruptive, and disrespectful girl either.  If she thinks something is unfair, she’ll call you out on it.  You had better be prepared to defend and prove that you are right and justified in your actions.  She isn’t a doormat.

 Am I embarrassed by her?  No.  I’m proud of her assertive nature. 

Is she disrespectful and unhelpful?  Not according to her teachers, friends, friends’ parents, ballet instructors, coaches, and previous Girl Scout leader.  Her teachers often comment on how nice and helpful she is to other students.  In fact, she recently received a Sunshine Award from her school.

 What is different now?  We have a new Girl Scout Co-Leader and it is pretty oblivious she doesn’t like my daughter or our family.  She sent a letter that is more of a log of every petty nit picky item or slight that she perceives our daughter has done.  This is out of character for our daughter.  While some of it could be correct, it is also taken out of context and made a bigger deal out of than necessary.  Here is the letter:

 

Date:  January 19, 2011 

To:  Angie and/or Kevin Hellriegel

 Concerning Kxxxxx Hellrigel

Subject:  We have had some issues that T(other leader) and I thought you as her parent should know about.

 1)  Issue at 1/18th meeting –Kxxxxxx stated that she did not want to do the try it activity, which was the Stitch It Together Try It—I told her we will never make her do something she does not want to but then she does not earn the try it.  Also there is nothing else planned during this time so if she does not want to participate she should not attend.  We are not babysitters.  It takes the two of us to help with the crafts and try its.  We had one additional leader that has moved and no one has offered to take her place.  I had specifically asked one parent to help at this meeting because I felt with needles that 4 adults would be best.  K—-(another mother) was there helping with Tammy and I, but the other parent did not attend.  So if Kxxxxx doesn’t want to participate, we will call you to pick her up.  We will need a phone number where you can be reached during that time.  We do not want other girls affected by her non interest in participating.

 2)  Issue at 1/18th meeting- Indicated that she did not like the Christmas party but she did not even go.  She asked if someone else could host the Christmas party.  I responded yes, but that no one else volunteered .  (seems she has an issue with Nxxxx (another girl)?)

 

3)  Issues at meeting 1/4th (where we discussed cookies)-Kxxxxxx did not want to donate any funds raised to charity.  She was one of three girls who did not want to give any funds back to the community.  As Girl Scouts we should do good in our community just like Boy Scouts.

4)  Did not listen to me -3 times –She wanted to wipe table with really wet sponge in middle of T(other leader)’s talk about cookies. Told her no, to please sit back down and listen.  She did it a bit later anyway, leaving the table really wet and it then had to be dried.

                                       –told her to wait in line for snack for rest of girls to line up for snack buffet style, she started serving herself, had to say wait again.

                                    —told her no she could not use water because I heard her mention water balloons, a little later she had water in the balloon anyway. 

 5)  Issue at 1/4th meeting-Kxxxxx asked if she could have an extra balloon.  When I said no, she loudly told me it was unfair because H and N got a second one.  I had three reasons, not that a teacher should have to explain reasons –was out of tooters because some did not work and girls got a second one, so H did not get one of those and she very nicely asked if she could have an extra balloon instead, N’s first balloon did not work right, I did not have enough balloons to give everyone a second one  and balloon time was almost over. 

 Does not set good example to rest of girls and I will not have my daughter hearing me challenged like that. 

6)  At a previous troop meeting, Kxxxxx pointed out how unfair it was that G (Troop leader’s daughter) got a different napkin than the rest of the girls.  It made G feel uncomfortable but she was doing what I had asked her to do.  I did not have enough for all so asked her to take the different napkin. I explained that to Kxxxxxxxx.  But no “thank you” that at least everyone had a napkin.  Something they would use and throw away afterwards.  Most parents forget to bring napkins if their snack is messy.

 M and Kxxxxxx often come eating treats.  They do not bring for rest of group. This last meeting they had lollipops.  M’s was gone pretty quickly but Kxxxxx had hers well into meeting time.  It has been pointed out that this is unfair.  T and I discussed this and agree.  Our girls are there with us from approximately 3:55pm-6pm and they are not getting treats that they do not share.  So please no treats unless they share with all.  We will be telling all parents this.  If someone comes with treats they do not have enough to share, they will be asked to put it in their bag, pocket or throw it away. 

On the positive side, once Kxxxxxx heard she would not get the try it if she did not do the work, she did participate and she seemed proud of what she did.  She wants to help clean up which is very appreciated at the right time not in middle of leader talking.  (At that time it is distracting.)

 When we send emails concerning Troop events, we would like to receive a response either way if the girl is coming or not.  That way we know the email was received and it allows us to plan the event in a timely way.   

Thank you for helping us offer a positive experience to our troop,

Xxxx Troop Leaders 

As you can imagine, I was pretty upset about this.  Frankly, I was pissed off because I know this lady hates my daughter.  She hides behind God and her Bible using them as an excuse to think she is better than the rest of us.   She justifies her actions by saying they are correct because she is a teacher.  I still don’t understand the teacher reference since she is a stay at home mom and has one kid (that is in the same school as my daughter). 

I can’t stand the condescending attitude this letter has.  I had to let it stew for a while before I wrote a response.  This evening I wrote this but haven’t sent it.  If you want to read what I really wanted to write, please scroll down to the bottom of this blog posting.

 Dear J and T,

 Upon receiving your letter, we were a bit surprised, flabbergasted, and taken back at what has been happening at your troop meetings.  With the first two years of Girl Scouts, we never heard anything negative about Kxxxx’s behavior or attitude.  She honestly enjoyed the meetings and attending the camps during the summer.

 We went thru each point you and  T mentioned in your letter and discussed them with Kxxxx.  We appreciate your candor and no holds bar attitude in how you think you should approach small children in a small group setting.  I personally ran a Cub Scout den for 5 years with 11 boys and I certainly understand the challenges of discipline, leading a meeting, and teaching small children projects. 

Item 1: Needle Point Try It

Clearly, you aren’t a babysitting service and you also aren’t counselors either.  If you had taken the time to talk with Kxxxxx, you would have discovered she is deathly afraid of needles and has a great fear of poking herself.  Sadly, I’m disappointed in lack of empathy and understanding in this matter.  Telling a child she doesn’t have to do the activity is fine; shaming them into doing the activity by telling them to leave is a whole other thing.

 Item 2: N (K’s friend)

Kxxxxx doesn’t have any issues with N or N hosting the Christmas Party.  Kxxxxx likes Nxxxx a great deal.  Kxxxxx wanted to offer to host the party since we were unable to attend the Christmas Party.  She was in fact disappointed she couldn’t attend and her comments probably would have been about her own disappointment of not being there.  We had heard it was a lot of fun.

 Item 3: Cookies and Charity

Are you sending this letter of compliant to the other two daughters about charity or is it just to us?  I wasn’t at your “donation” speech, however, an open discussion about what to do with the funds the girls earn is great.  There should be an open debate about what to do with the money.  I think going to the Great Wolf Lodge is an utterly stupid way to spend the cookie money yet I’ll go along with the majority.  Girls will be girls.  Some of them might want to donate all of the money to charity and others might want to not donate anything.  As a leader, you should guide them into making good choices.  Most of the girls will make the correct choices if given the right examples.

Item 4: Listening

In regards to wiping the table with a wet sponge during T’s speech, Kxxxxx was trying to be helpful like she is at home.  She told us that she did get too much water on the table and tried to dry it up with a towel but you stopped her.  You didn’t allow her to correct the problem she thought she created.  In our house, we hold our children responsible for their messes.  If we create a big mess (mind you water isn’t that big of a deal), we want them to clean it up.  What if that was soda pop, grape juice, or milk she spilled?  Would you have let it sit there until after the speech was finished or would you have allowed her to clean it up?  It makes no sense to complain about the water and you having to clean it up.  Kxxxx would have and should have cleaned it up. 

The snack buffet line also doesn’t make sense.  She was the first one in line, thought she could take the snack but then was told she couldn’t.  Pick your battles.  Do you keep a log of everything Kxxxxx does wrong? 

Water Balloon:  She was cleaning the spit out of her balloon.

 Item 5: The Extra Balloon

Seriously?  Kxxxxx grew up in a house with two older brothers and she has to speak loud and ask questions.  I appreciate her assertive nature and that she is a leader and not a doormat to be stomped on.  I can’t believe that no other child has dared to challenge you if they have seen an injustice being done.  Maybe boys are different but they certainly have inquisitive minds and asked questions on why we did things the way we did. I encouraged my den to challenge me and come up with solutions.  As a leader, you should have to explain yourself if it appears you might be playing favorites.  Even if you aren’t playing favorites, the key is that it appears you are playing favorites.  You should be called out if you are playing favorites and you should offer an explanation of why you are passing out a second balloon.  Heck, I would have totally called you out on passing out a second balloon if I saw you doing that.  Then as a leader, you should explain that you didn’t have enough tooters because some didn’t work and you were replacing them with balloons.  That makes sense to a 2nd grader and they would appreciate the honesty.

 Item 6:  Napkins and Treats

Really?  I never heard you come to Kxxxxx’s defense when other children asked her about her sores she had on her arms.  You were standing right next to me when I told the little girl that asked that question that was impolite to ask someone.  I agree that napkins aren’t a big deal so why are you making a big deal out of it.

 The snacks issue was a bit out of my control.  You know that Kxxxxx and Mxxxxx are dropped off by M’s Mother.  I have discussed with M’s Mother about the snack issue and she won’t allow the children to bring a snack to the meetings anymore. 

In conclusion, we haven’t ever received any negative comments from her teachers, friend’s parents, ballet school instructors, or sports programs coaches about her behavior.  She is often singled out for her helpful behavior and great attitude.  In fact, she just received a Sunshine Award last week.  While our daughter is far from perfect, like many girls her age, it greatly saddens us that you have singled out our daughter to find fault in.  Kxxxxxx feels like you dislike her and I would agree with her assessment of the situation.

 Sincerely,

 Kevin

OK, that was my nice version of the letter I am going to send.  Now here is the version I want to send.  I won’t but I’ll post it on my blog anyway.  Freedom to express my opinion!  God Bless America!

 Date:  January 19, 2011

 To:  Angie and/or Kevin Hellriegel

 Concerning Kxxxxx Hellrigel Thanks for misspelling our last name.

 

Subject:  We have had some issues that T(other leader) and I thought you as her parent should know about.  (Mainly she had issues but she’s dragging in the other leader as well…you might as well throw your friends under the bus as well).

1)  Issue at 1/18th meeting –Kxxxxxx stated that she did not want to do the try it activity, which was the Stitch It Together Try It—I told her we will never make her do something she does not want to but then she does not earn the try it. That’s fair.  She didn’t do the work, she shouldn’t get the badge.   Also there is nothing else planned during this time so if she does not want to participate she should not attend.  WTF?  Did K know that you were doing this activity ahead of time?  Did you send my eight year old daughter an email about it?  Or perhaps it was a psychic message?  As an alterative, you don’t have some paper and pens for kids that finish early?  That is called poor planning.   We are not babysitters.  No shit.  I would never let you watch my child without other adults around.   It takes the two of us to help with the crafts and try its.  We had one additional leader that has moved and no one has offered to take her place. Need help?  Guess who is now going to be your new co-leader…ME!!!  I had specifically asked one parent to help at this meeting because I felt with needles that 4 adults would be best.  K—-(another mother) was there helping with T and I, but the other parent did not attend.  So if Kxxxxx doesn’t want to participate, we will call you to pick her up.  Seriously?  What if one of the scouts finishes up before the others?  Are you going to call their parents to come early because you don’t have anything else for them to do?  We will need a phone number where you can be reached during that time Don’t you have my phone number?  We have been in the troop for three years?.  We do not want other girls affected by her non interest in participating.  Yes, my daughter’s lack of participating in needle work is awful.  She is deathly afraid of needles and is afraid of poking herself.  Maybe if you took the time to ask why she didn’t want to do it then you’d be a better leader.  I don’t think shaming her into participating is part of the Girl Scout way, do you?

 2)  Issue at 1/18th meeting- Indicated that she did not like the Christmas party but she did not even go.  She asked if someone else could host the Christmas party.  I responded yes, but that no one else volunteered .  (seems she has an issue with Nxxxx (another girl)?)

She doesn’t have an issue with her friend N.  Stop trying to be a therapist when you clearly aren’t qualified to offer that opinion.  She was asking if she could host the next party and she was disappointed that she wasn’t able to go to this year’s party.  Again, arguing with an eight year old doesn’t make any sense.

3)  Issues at meeting 1/4th (where we discussed cookies)-

Kxxxxxx did not want to donate any funds raised to charity.  She was one of three girls who did not want to give any funds back to the community.  As Girl Scouts we should do good in our community just like Boy Scouts.  Seriously?  Did the other two girls’ parents get letters about their child’s lack of charity?  (No they didn’t).  K even said that they talked about it and she did agree with donating some of the money after the discussion.  Are you saying that I’m a bad parent because this wasn’t the first answer out of her mouth?

4)  Did not listen to me -3 times –Hell, I don’t want to listen to your nit picky crap at any time.  She wanted to wipe table with really wet sponge in middle of T(other leader)’s talk about cookies. Next time I’ll tell her to use a dry sponge.  Told her no, to please sit back down and listen.  She made a mess and wanted to clean it up because she is responsible.  At our house, if you make the mess you help clean up the mess.  She did it a bit later anyway, leaving the table really wet and it then had to be dried.  It is water from a sponge.  Of course it is going to be wet.  And you didn’t let her dry it up.  Please stop being a martyr.  Put your leader pants on, tell her to use a towel and have her dry it up!

                                       –told her to wait in line for snack for rest of girls to line up for snack buffet style, she started serving herself, had to say wait again.  She was first in line, grab a snack, then heard you say not to start.  Oops.  Send her to jail for being ahead of the game.

                                    —told her no she could not use water because I heard her mention water balloons, a little later she had water in the balloon anyway.  Actually, she was cleaning out the balloon.  Was the balloon filled up and ready to be thrown?  Or was the balloon “wet” from being washed off?

5)  Issue at 1/4th meeting-Kxxxxx asked if she could have an extra balloon.  When I said no, she loudly told me it was unfair because H and N got a second one.  I agree, it is unfair.  Why do they get two and the others only get one?  Isn’t two greater than one?  That is unfair in my book.  I had three reasons, not that a teacher should have to explain reasons YES, you do need to explain yourself.  If someone thinks it is unfair then you should explain why it isn’t unfair.  There is a reason why they have come to that conclusion.  As a good leader, it is your job to educate them why it isn’t unfair. –was out of tooters because some did not work and girls got a second one, so H did not get one of those and she very nicely asked if she could have an extra balloon instead, N’s first balloon did not work right, I did not have enough balloons to give everyone a second one  and balloon time was almost over.  Be honest, explain this to the girls and they will understand.  When I see the reason, it makes sense to me.  I’m pretty sure if you took the time to explain it, then they would understand.

Does not set good example to rest of girls and I will not have my daughter hearing me challenged like that.  Here is the real reason behind the letter.  WTF?  You should be challenged if someone sees you doing an unjust thing like favoritism.  You had a good reason for giving away a second balloon but you failed to use this opportunity to explain why you were giving out the second balloon.  In an eight year old’s eyes, she sees someone getting a second balloon and that is unfair.  You do need to explain yourself.

 6)  At a previous troop meeting, Kxxxxx pointed out how unfair it was that G (Troop leader’s daughter) got a different napkin than the rest of the girls.  It made G feel uncomfortable but she was doing what I had asked her to do.  Oh, but you don’t say anything when a girl points out my daughter’s sores on her arms?  I’m the one that had to point out that was impolite thing to ask.  Where were you then Mrs. Manners Police?  I did not have enough for all so asked her to take the different napkin. I explained that to Kxxxxxxxx.  But no “thank you” that at least everyone had a napkin.  OK, I’m confused.  Why does she need to say “Thank You?”  Was the “Thank You” for the napkin or the lame explanation you gave?  Pretty petty thing to hold against a kid.  The troop leader was slighted so let’s put it on the kid’s record of wrongdoing.  Something they would use and throw away afterwards.  Most parents forget to bring napkins if their snack is messy.  All this bitching and moaning about a napkin you admit isn’t that important?  What a fricking power struggle you have with my daughter!

M and Kxxxxxx often come eating treats.  They do not bring for rest of group. My daughter carpools with the other girl’s mother!  The troop leaders know this because I pick up the girls.  We have done this for the past two years!  This last meeting they had lollipops.  M’s was gone pretty quickly but Kxxxxx had hers well into meeting time.  It has been pointed out that this is unfair.  Life is unfair.  If life was fair I’d be superrich, married to a supermodel, and living on an island paradise instead of reading this crap.  T and I discussed this and agree.  Our girls are there with us from approximately 3:55pm-6pm and they are not getting treats that they do not share.  So please no treats unless they share with all.  We will be telling all parents this.  If someone comes with treats they do not have enough to share, they will be asked to put it in their bag, pocket or throw it away.  This isn’t a bad policy.  Am I going to be asked to throw away my latte because I didn’t bring one for each of the other parents?  Are they going to think it is unfair that I have a latte and they don’t?

 On the positive side (Finally some good news…I guess no one every told her that you can catch more flies with honey that vinegar), once Kxxxxxx heard she would not get the try it if she did not do the work, she did participate and she seemed proud of what she did.  So once she was threatened, then she did the work.  She wants to help clean up which is very appreciated at the right time not in middle of leader talking.  (At that time it is distracting.) OK.  Back to the leader talking part….it is OK to be helpful but under your terms and conditions.  That’s a good lesson to teach our daughters.

 When we send emails concerning Troop events, we would like to receive a response either way if the girl is coming or not.  That way we know the email was received and it allows us to plan the event in a timely way.  Then send me the email and write on there RSVP.  If it doesn’t have RSVP on it, then the email is merely information for me; not an invitation.

 Thank you for helping us offer a positive experience to our troop,

Xxxx & Xxxxx Troop Leaders

(Seriously?  This is a positive experience?)

As you can read, I’m a tad bit upset about this whole thing.  My wife and I both know that this troop leader doesn’t like us or our daughter.  She makes it perfectly clear at every meeting.  We thought we could tolerate it because you have to deal with all kinds of people in life.  I really don’t know what she has against us.  However, if she is going to remain a leader then we think we need to find a better troop for our daughter.  Other people don’t have a problem with our daughter and a lot of the girls’ parents like our daughter.  We have a conflict with this leader and the only two solutions we appear have to have are: quit and join a new troop or ask the leader to step down.

 I’m fine with either one.  I am willing to step up and become a co-leader of my daughter’s troop if needed.  If it’s a fight she wants, then it’s a fight she’ll get.  Bring it on!

My Big Belly Weekend

~ K ~ Leave a comment

The beginning of 2011…and my belly is getting bigger.

I hear many people talk about losing weight because they have ballooned up over the holidays. Heck, I don’t need a holiday to balloon my weight up. I can pig out and have a good time, any old time! Bring on more food and keep it coming! Why not enjoy a good meal when you can? Or a donut when you are in between meals?

This is not to say that I am seriously going to trim back down (versus just joking about it). I point to this weekend as a prime example of why I need to trim down and get back in shape (yet again).

Nothing bad happened over the weekend if you don’t count noticing my huge pot belly hanging out and my self esteem crashing to the floor. Mind you, I can still fit into all of jeans but only because I am a man. I still have the same waist as I had in high school and college; it’s my gut that has grown bigger. Women worry about their huge butts, men worry about their huge guts.

Perhaps you need some tips on how to hide those extra pounds? I’d suggest the excuse of “layers”. If you live in a somewhat cold climate, you can easily dismiss those extra pounds with your “layers” of clothing. Layers are an excellent way to hide extra weight. During the winter, it is the best time to add on those extra pounds and not feel too bad about it. Layers are your friends….

I have discovered I don’t feel bad about my weight until I take a vacation trip and actually take my shirt off in public. I’m not in the habit of whipping my shirt off in any old public spot. However this past weekend we had a family trip to Mt. Baker and stayed in a condo with access to not one, but two pools. Yes, two pools so I had double the opportunities to strip off my shirt and show off my big belly. What a wonderful chance to see how bad I looked without a shirt on. Sure, take a swim with the kids and show off the pot belly. What is the big deal? Everyone likes the jolly fat guy, right?

I could be a jolly fat guy…except I’m not exactly a jolly person.

Another good way to hide those extra pounds: always get dressed in the dark or dim lighting situations. This insures that your significant other doesn’t get that 10,000 watt spotlight view of you (at least it feels that way when the lights are on). I’d suggest a nice candle light rule in the house, thus creating a romantic and artistically pleasure portrait of you at all times.

So today, I was back to exercising with the goal to lose those extra pounds. However, I’m not stupid enough to post my goals…I don’t want to be held accountable in case that chocolate cupcake just happens to appear on my desert plate tomorrow night.

As always, your comments and posts are welcome!

Christmas Newsletter 2010 (clean verision)

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Hellriegel’s 2010 Holiday Newsletter (a must read!)

Another year has whipped by and we find ourselves back at the holiday newsletter time of year. In short, we are all alive, healthy, and wiser(?). So if you want to skip the rest of this newsletter, please go ahead, just remember to recycle it (it would make a lovely wrapping paper for my gift)!

The kids are all doing well. We still have three (I haven’t killed anyone….yet). J (20) is living with his dad and working at Toys R Us. At least he has a job in this lousy economic time. My wife and I are still both working so that is great news, right? It was one of my best years in real estate and my school photography business is still solid. It just goes to show that if you actually do a great job, your clients will stay with you!

What about the younger kids that inhabit our home, drain our energy, and think I am awesome? K (8) is in 2nd Grade and is developing my sense of humor! Thank God for that! Rest assured that after I’m dead and gone, she’ll continue to bring that sick and twisted Hellriegel sense of humor to your lives. She complete her first year of soccer (loves it), bridged over from Daisy Scouts to Brownies, continued ballet (now switched to Jazz), and went on a Dad and Me Camp (Girl Scouts) with me (where I was the coolest Dad around-at least I thought so).

H (12) is now in the 6th Grade and in his last year at elementary school. As a pre-teenager, we are seeing the switch in his attitude from child to obnoxious son. He believes 20 minutes of arguing is better than doing the five minutes of work he is arguing against doing. He played indoor soccer and outdoor soccer, is now in Boy Scouts (following his old man & uncle on the path to Eagle Scout), came in 3rd Place in popcorn sales for the troop (thanks to me!), and has long hair (unlike me!). I attended summer camp with H for a week (Camp Piggott) where he earned 5 merit badges (compared to only 3 that I earned my first time at summer camp). You’ll be pleased to know that he too has my sense of humor (much to my wife’s dismay). Perhaps that is why he likes to argue so much?

Vacation Trips: Don’t get too excited; our vacations are usually pretty boring, road trip style because I’m such a frugal person (or cheapskate as my wife likes to say). Our school vacations were also cut short because of the teacher’s strike so we did mini-vacations. We went to Portland, OR over the New Year’s Break and we rode the Portland Streetcar around (because H and I are train geeks) while my wife humored us. Luckily, we are grooming K to be a train geek as well…soon there will be another (insert evil laugh here). We also bumped into one of the four people I know in Oregon right at Powell’s Bookstore. Man, there goes my chance to win the PowerBall Lottery with a random run in with a friend named (get this) “Chance”. Seriously, that is actually true and his actual name.

We did our annual trip to Lincoln Rock for a week in June (out of the rain!). Then we did a freezing cold Oregon Coast trip (in July) with temps of 40-60 degrees. I was blamed for the cold weather (not my fault, it’s an act of God ok?). Overall, Oregon Coast was fun because we had extended family camping trip with campfires and family time. We also managed to make it another time to the warmth of Eastern Washington and a waterslide park. We did a few trips to the Anderson Island cabin. Since I’m the oldest of the children and can blame all the broken things on my brother and sister, we had a raging party with 100 of my closet friends from the tavern (at least that is what my father firmly believes).

Additional Members of the Family: This year we added a rabbit to our family named “Puppy” (that was his name before we got him). I renamed him “Zoltron: Destroyer of Planets”. It sounds more Star Trek-ish and manly (if those two terms can go together). No offense to the folks that speak “Klingon” in their spare time (i.e. no social life). Our dog Shelby turned 10 in February and is greatly loved by the kids (who don’t seem to remember to feed her or pick up her poop unless it is on the bottom of their shoes).

My wife had some good “Girlfriends without Whining Husbands and Demanding Children Trips” with a wine tour to Lake Chelan and a trip to the Oregon Coast. Thank God, I had stocked up on Pop Tarts (a most delicious dinner!), peanut butter, and insane amounts of hot dogs. What else would we eat when she is gone? McDonald’s? With each vacation my wife takes without me, our marriage grows stronger because now I can bank more days into my “Dad Alone Vacations”! I’m up to 16 weeks of vacation now. Hmm, an extended trip to Europe by myself? Maybe a trip to South America? Or a couch surfing trip to NYC (hint, hint Cousin Stephen and his wife Melissa)? Truth be told, I like to use my vacation with my family and hold it over my wife’s head as an evil overlord. This way I can “feel” better about myself (and still keep those vacation days in the bank!).

The end of the year brought us Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Thanksgiving was bittersweet because of the snow and we stayed at home instead of getting away to Anderson Island.
Other News: I continued on in my Aikido class and passed my 5th kyu (I’m “grasshopper” like in the TV series Kung Fu). I also had 11 Cub Scout finish up their Cub Scout careers and me as their Den Leader in February. Then I got sucked into an Assistant Scoutmaster position (hence my week long “vacation” at Boy Scout camp instead of Hawaii). Actually, we are in a good troop and H and I are both having fun.

Between my endless hours of wasting time on Facebook and watching TV (mostly reality shows), I have mostly neglected my family and household duties this past year. However, I did manage to write more on my blog (which I wholeheartedly encourage you to read on a weekly basis). Is it as funny as the newsletter or my various Facebook status updates? Sometimes. Will you get more of my weird sense of humor? Of course!

So important websites to remember:
Kevin’s Blog: https://khellriegel.wordpress.com/
Kevin’s Photography: http://www.hellriegelstudio.com
Kevin’s Real Estate: http://www.KevinRE.com

Feel free to call us or stop by the house anytime you happen to be in Kent!

Warmest Holiday Wishes,

Kevin & Family!

Self Help Guru and your Critical Thinking Skills!

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I finally finished the audio book (I had to drive around the neighborhood for about three hours in my car to finish it) titled “Bright-Sided How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America” written by Barbara Ehrenreich. She really doesn’t mean to be funny but the book is funny in a depressing sarcastic way! Well, to me it was funny because it really showed how the “positive thinking” is messing up the good old United States of America. So that fits perfectly into my new brand of Self Help Guru Motivational leadership I want to do.

Before we go off and talk about my favorite subject (me), let’s talk about the book “Bright Sided”. The book is a serious statement against the Self-Help movement and Positive Thinking followers. You might be wondering what the difference between positive thinking and positive thoughts are.

Positive thinking is a blind belief that you must think positive all the time. Positive thinkers believe that all negative thoughts are bad and should be cast aside. But is that really the best thing to do? Aren’t you throwing the baby out with the bath water when you do that? Aren’t you just sacrificing your critical thinking skills for simpler, easier thinking? Could positive thinking cause you great harm?

What is Kevin talking about? Let’s take the example of walking through a bad part of town. Should you use “positive thinking” and the “law of attraction” to safely guide you through the dangerous streets of Compton, California? Or should you use your realistic thinking of the potential dangers that exist in this negative environment and use your critical thinking skills to get the heck out of there?

Positive thinking is all a big scam according to Barbara Ehrenreich. She writes about mega preachers and self help gurus. One would think that her negative view of self help gurus, motivational speakers, and mega church leaders would deter me from becoming a Self-Help Guru. Ha! If anything, this book has given me the push I need to become that Self-Help guru I so yearn to be!

Think about it for a moment. Positive thinking and the Law of Attraction is just a scam in which people are lied to and told that anything is possible if they “visualize” it. It is a scam in which they want you to falsely believe that if you think it will happen, it will actually happen. I’m pretty positive that I picked the latest PowerBall numbers, yet I haven’t won the Powerball jackpot yet.

Am I saying you should use negative thinking instead of positive thinking? No, not in the least bit, however, instead of positive thinking could we be realistic thinkers? Could we be realistic with the fact that you need to work hard to be successful? You need to study hard to get good grades? You need to develop your critical thinking skills to become successful. What are critical thinking skills? Critical thinking is your ability to identify the problem, analyze & evaluate the problem, think of multiple solutions, and hopefully solve the problem by implementing one or more of your solutions. For a more detailed definition of critical thinking, here’s a link http://www.criticalthinking.org/aboutCT/define_critical_thinking.cfm

Now, there is nothing wrong with having a positive attitude while thinking of solutions to a problem as long as those solutions are realistic in natural. In the brainstorming phase, you can throw out crazy ideas (that is why it is called “brainstorming”). However, once you move past the brainstorming phase, you narrow down your objectives to realistic, doable, and obtainable solutions.

An example: You need to increase sale for your “drug lord business.”
How would you do this? I’d suggest you set some goals for yourself.
Goal: I want to increase my drug lord business by 100% next quarter.
Is that realistic? If you live in a small town and all the local druggies are purchasing from you already, a growth rate of 100% isn’t going to happen unless they build a new low income housing project overnight.
What if you live in a large city? It is possible, however, will the established gangs and drug dealers take too kindly to your encroachment onto their turf? Is your expansion plans going to piss off the neighboring gangs? Is a turf war worth it? How much will it cost you in death of your “employees” and lost productivity? Remember a dead employee doesn’t make you any money!

This is critical thinking at work. You have to ask all the good, the bad, and the ugly questions. You have to think of multiple scenarios in which your plan will have to survive in. These scenarios need to be worst case and best case because you need to be prepared to do your best whatever the outcome may be!

Now the positive thinking group and the Law of Attraction flakes would have you believe that you can just “think” about growing your drug lord business by 100% and it will happen. I argue that you can use realistic thinking instead. Yes, you can grow that business by 100% but use your critical thinking skills to do it. Your realistic thinking will then guide you into how you’ll actually go about achieving that lofty goal.

There is nothing wrong about thinking “big” and setting big goals for your self. You just have to know that it is going take hard work and dedication to reach those goals. Is your heart ready to live your dreams? I’m positive it is as long as you take it seriously. I’m not holding you back; I’m here to push you forward by making you think! Enjoy what you do and do it!

As always, I welcome your comments and feedback!