Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

My Big Belly Weekend

The beginning of 2011…and my belly is getting bigger.

I hear many people talk about losing weight because they have ballooned up over the holidays. Heck, I don’t need a holiday to balloon my weight up. I can pig out and have a good time, any old time! Bring on more food and keep it coming! Why not enjoy a good meal when you can? Or a donut when you are in between meals?

This is not to say that I am seriously going to trim back down (versus just joking about it). I point to this weekend as a prime example of why I need to trim down and get back in shape (yet again).

Nothing bad happened over the weekend if you don’t count noticing my huge pot belly hanging out and my self esteem crashing to the floor. Mind you, I can still fit into all of jeans but only because I am a man. I still have the same waist as I had in high school and college; it’s my gut that has grown bigger. Women worry about their huge butts, men worry about their huge guts.

Perhaps you need some tips on how to hide those extra pounds? I’d suggest the excuse of “layers”. If you live in a somewhat cold climate, you can easily dismiss those extra pounds with your “layers” of clothing. Layers are an excellent way to hide extra weight. During the winter, it is the best time to add on those extra pounds and not feel too bad about it. Layers are your friends….

I have discovered I don’t feel bad about my weight until I take a vacation trip and actually take my shirt off in public. I’m not in the habit of whipping my shirt off in any old public spot. However this past weekend we had a family trip to Mt. Baker and stayed in a condo with access to not one, but two pools. Yes, two pools so I had double the opportunities to strip off my shirt and show off my big belly. What a wonderful chance to see how bad I looked without a shirt on. Sure, take a swim with the kids and show off the pot belly. What is the big deal? Everyone likes the jolly fat guy, right?

I could be a jolly fat guy…except I’m not exactly a jolly person.

Another good way to hide those extra pounds: always get dressed in the dark or dim lighting situations. This insures that your significant other doesn’t get that 10,000 watt spotlight view of you (at least it feels that way when the lights are on). I’d suggest a nice candle light rule in the house, thus creating a romantic and artistically pleasure portrait of you at all times.

So today, I was back to exercising with the goal to lose those extra pounds. However, I’m not stupid enough to post my goals…I don’t want to be held accountable in case that chocolate cupcake just happens to appear on my desert plate tomorrow night.

As always, your comments and posts are welcome!


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