Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Thanksgiving is Over! Bring on the Old Fat Guy in a Red Suit!


Ah, the big Thanksgiving holiday here in America is over.  You can now bring on the Black Friday sales and the endless hours of holiday music.  Who can wait for the crowds at the malls and the endless lines that are produced by Black Friday?

 As you can imagine, I’m not one who gets up early to get the best deals on Black Friday.  My family is lucky that I even buy them anything at all consider how uninspired I am when it comes to gift giving.  I really haven’t a clue on what is a good gift.  I know you aren’t supposed to give kids liquor or cigarettes but beyond that I’m pretty clueless.

 If you talk to me, all you get is a bunch of worthless advice on what people want.  Sure, I seem like an expert because of my awesome blog (and I probably am) but gift giving is not one of them.

 I do know that some people frown upon the idea that all gifts are worthless.  I can tell you that you can find worthless gifts everywhere if you look hard enough.

 Where to Find Some Worthless Gifts:

Garage Sales – totally awesome place to find gifts that are totally worthless.  Plastic containers without lids, clothes that are too small, too big, far too ugly, broken toys, empty Mason jars, etc.

Hardware Stores – While this might be the perfect store for a man, for a woman it is the worst.  What woman wants a hammer for a gift?

Auto Part Stores – Almost as bad as the Hardware Store.  No one likes new windshield wipers or motor oil as a gift.

Things you shouldn’t buy as Gifts:

Artwork – your taste in artwork is not the same as your friends.  Of course, you can certainly use some bad artwork to annoy your friends.

Clown Related Items – this stuff is just scary.  I grew up watching The Poltergeist movies and Stephen King’s “It”.  Clowns scare me to death.

Ashtrays – I don’t smoke so I have a total bias against ashtrays.  Hence they are totally worthless to me.

Garden Items for Apartment Dwellers – I don’t think your cousin that lives in an apartment in New York City really needs a shovel.  Unless he is a serial killer, that shovel is worthless.

Bathroom Scales – unless you are shipping large packages, don’t bother buying a scale as a gift.  Your spouse doesn’t need to be reminded about how much they ate over the holidays.

Stuffed Animals for Adults – you aren’t a redneck at the country fair.  Just leave the stuffed animals for the children under ten years old.

 Enjoy the rest of the weekend and good luck with your holiday shopping.  I know you’ll need it.

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4 responses to “Thanksgiving is Over! Bring on the Old Fat Guy in a Red Suit!

  1. Honey November 30, 2013 at 11:41 am

    Ak. No Black Friday for the Smiths. We are hopefully moving to “experience” gifts such as football tickets, Tour of Beverly hills. We have too much junk as it is. 🙂

  2. The Hook December 1, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    Some folks fear the holidays, but not you, my friend.
    Good for you!

  3. Eric Tonningsen December 11, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    Smiling at the bathroom scale listing. I just printed a copy of an engaged couple’s bridal registry and on it (at this particular store) was a barhroom scale. I thought about it. For a second. Then I moved on to other pages. 🙂

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