Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

How to distance yourself from Family & Friends – Your Worthless Advice Tips

Ah, social media…isn’t it fun?  Social media is the prefect way for you to avoid your family and friends.  Why should you meet them in person when you can just do all of your social interactions online?  Remember, all that matters in life now is how many “likes” you get and how many “Oh, I’m so jealous of your life” comments you receive.

Distance Yourself: If you had any friends, this is a wonderful way to keep them a good distance away from beach-1869523_1920.jpgyou.  Remember when you liked to see people in person and interact with them?  No more.  Instead of meeting with them at the local bar, just post a photo of your drink.  Make sure the drink is artistically placed and the background is out of focus.  Preferable you have a tropical background so you get lots of “likes”.

Meeting up with friends in person is so overrated.  Stick to drinking at home.  By yourself.  On your couch.

What about family and seeing them during the holidays?  Oh, the dreaded holidays where you are forced to see your relatives for once or twice a year and pretend you like to hear the story about their cat, Mr. Pickles.  (Mr. Pickles is nothing compared to my  Mr. Whiskers…but we all know that and I’m getting off subject here).  How do you deal with your relatives when you are stuck there with them?

Easy…sit on the couch and check your phone every 15 seconds. beer-422138_1920.jpg I mean, you drove all the way over to your Aunt’s house, why actually be “there”.  Your body can be there but in reality, we all know that looking at your social media accounts are much more important that actually talking with your relatives.  Who cares about that awesome Thanksgiving dinner?  Who cares that this might be the last time you see Uncle Milton?  (Who really cares about Uncle Milton anyway…you aren’t included in his will).

Post as many photos of the gathering you can so it looks like you are having fun.  Remember, social media is here to make others feel bad.  You need to make it look like your family gathering is much more fun and exciting than your friend Sarah.  (Not that you’ll actually ever see Sarah again since you are going to never physically see her again.)  Be sure to add a bunch of fun filters to the images as well.

Bonus Worthless Advice Tip: Always have your headphones on.  Listen to some electronic dance music.

Heck, it’s Friday night….time to ignore your co-workers and sit on your phone.  Scroll through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter….those are where the real social interactions are happening!

Enjoy your weekend!  To make your life easier, just click on the like button below.  Make my social media day…and if you want to comment, please go ahead.  Make sure your comment makes me jealous that your life is so much better than mine.  Thanks…go ahead, make me feel bad.

 

Advertisements

Thanksgiving is over….

Thanksgiving is over and it is Black Friday. Our family doesn’t partake in Black Friday shopping. Instead, we sit around and enjoy whatever movie happens to flow across our Netflix account. We lounge around and relax, enjoy the gas fireplace, and watch the rain come pouring down.

Just a nice holiday weekend to enjoy with the family. Enjoy your holiday weekend as well!

Thanksgiving is Over! Bring on the Old Fat Guy in a Red Suit!

Ah, the big Thanksgiving holiday here in America is over.  You can now bring on the Black Friday sales and the endless hours of holiday music.  Who can wait for the crowds at the malls and the endless lines that are produced by Black Friday?

 As you can imagine, I’m not one who gets up early to get the best deals on Black Friday.  My family is lucky that I even buy them anything at all consider how uninspired I am when it comes to gift giving.  I really haven’t a clue on what is a good gift.  I know you aren’t supposed to give kids liquor or cigarettes but beyond that I’m pretty clueless.

 If you talk to me, all you get is a bunch of worthless advice on what people want.  Sure, I seem like an expert because of my awesome blog (and I probably am) but gift giving is not one of them.

 I do know that some people frown upon the idea that all gifts are worthless.  I can tell you that you can find worthless gifts everywhere if you look hard enough.

 Where to Find Some Worthless Gifts:

Garage Sales – totally awesome place to find gifts that are totally worthless.  Plastic containers without lids, clothes that are too small, too big, far too ugly, broken toys, empty Mason jars, etc.

Hardware Stores – While this might be the perfect store for a man, for a woman it is the worst.  What woman wants a hammer for a gift?

Auto Part Stores – Almost as bad as the Hardware Store.  No one likes new windshield wipers or motor oil as a gift.

Things you shouldn’t buy as Gifts:

Artwork – your taste in artwork is not the same as your friends.  Of course, you can certainly use some bad artwork to annoy your friends.

Clown Related Items – this stuff is just scary.  I grew up watching The Poltergeist movies and Stephen King’s “It”.  Clowns scare me to death.

Ashtrays – I don’t smoke so I have a total bias against ashtrays.  Hence they are totally worthless to me.

Garden Items for Apartment Dwellers – I don’t think your cousin that lives in an apartment in New York City really needs a shovel.  Unless he is a serial killer, that shovel is worthless.

Bathroom Scales – unless you are shipping large packages, don’t bother buying a scale as a gift.  Your spouse doesn’t need to be reminded about how much they ate over the holidays.

Stuffed Animals for Adults – you aren’t a redneck at the country fair.  Just leave the stuffed animals for the children under ten years old.

 Enjoy the rest of the weekend and good luck with your holiday shopping.  I know you’ll need it.

Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving is tomorrow here in the United States and I’m usually out of town with no internet access.  This year is different, this year fate has told me to stay home with the family and enjoy the wonders of my neighborhood.   As you know, this also allows me the chance to write a blog post and reflect what I should be thankful for.

Am I thankful for family, friends, or a great dinner?

Dinner brings on a set of interesting items to discuss.  Now that friends and family know we are in town, our Thanksgiving dinner has ballooned from a reasonable dinner of eight to a huge dinner of 21-23 people.  I assume the range of possible guest attending is due to the guest’s lack of commitment to our dinner.  I really don’t mind a huge gathering because Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  No gifts involved but lots of food and good drink to make everyone healthy, wealthy, and wise.  I feel like a Viking getting ready for a raid after I gouge myself on a turkey dinner and fine drink.

Ready the oars!

I’m also fortunate to have a wife who knows how to cook a turkey and other side dishes.  The meal will be worth it.

So enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner and enjoy the time with your friends and family.  That’s if you can stand your family.

Thanksgiving 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

My blog wouldn’t be complete if there was an old ode to Thanksgiving this year.  Trust me, this isn’t some sappy “I’m thankful for….” blog about how much I’m thankful for this and that.  Really?  Everyone (well, the two people that read this blog plus Cyndi my imaginary stalker) know that I am a very thankful person (and sarcastic).  Like most people with half a heart, I enjoy the fact that I actually like and enjoy my family and friends.  Unlike the Dr. Seuss character “The Grinch”, I like Thanksgiving and Christmas and the holiday cheer these holidays bring.

However, due to the weather, this year’s blog comes from our home in Kent versus our usually location of Anderson Island.  With all the snowy weather conditions we have had over the past two days, we made the decision to stay home this year instead of traveling and hosting Thanksgiving at the family cabin on Anderson Island.

This decision comes with mixed feelings.  We enjoy the trek to Anderson Island and the adventure of having Thanksgiving dinner on Anderson Island.  Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday because it has nothing to do with gift giving and presents.  It is strictly a holiday that you get to see family and friends (that you hopefully enjoy) and enjoy a great meal.  Now, if you don’t enjoy the people you are with during Thanksgiving, then you have to come up with some better excuses for not going to that host’s Thanksgiving dinner.  Maybe take a vacation trip to Kauai instead?  (Heck you can stay at http://www.makanacrest.com)

Why waste your time with people that you don’t enjoy?  You distance yourself from negative friends, why not do the same thing with your relatives?  If you don’t like them, why subject yourself to their company?  Why surround yourself with them?  Thanksgiving is like the 4th of July.  It is a holiday that you don’t have to think about, you just have to enjoy it.  Life is too short to waste with stress about family gatherings and conflict.

So this year, hopefully you made the commitment to enjoy your Thanksgiving!  Now, you just have to get through Black Friday and Cyber Monday!

As always, you are more than welcome to leave your comments.

Thanksgiving and KOTS

Thanksgiving is over and it was a huge success. My hat is off to my darling wife (and I’m not being sarcastic either) because she, our family friend Lynn, and Lynn’s son Matthew did a fantastic job wih dinner. This was our first year where we cooked the turkey with an electric deep fryer. It turned out excellent. One of the downsides of this Thanksgiving was the lack of KOTS being with us. He couldn’t make the time to come to Anderson Island and enjoy the turkey dinner. This isn’t the first time KOTS has skipped Thanksgiving dinner with us. This deeply saddens his mother and is most annoying to me. Hopefully, he decided to make the right choice and spend time with his dad instead of just blowing off with his girlfriend.

We don’t mind him spending time with his girlfriend. We’d like her to come over for dinner (we haven’t seen her since August). We actually like KOTS’ girlfriend quite a bit. What she sees in KOTS, I really don’t know but that is for another blog entry down the road.

Another reason it was important for KOTS to come was the fact, he had moved out of our house! Yes, KOTS’ pushed his mom a little too far in his lack of motivation and was asked to leave. I didn’t ask him to leave, his mother did.

While cleaning out his room, I removed seven bags of garbage and trash. I discovered a lot of almost brand new clothes that appeared to have been worn once. I wash them and bundled them up but KOTS has picked them up yet. We also had the carpets cleaned but the stains weren’t able to be extracted from the carpet. Sad, that a carpet has been ruined (no other carpet in the house is ruined..hmmm…now how could that be?).

With KOTS out of the house, he had to actually look for a job! Luckily for him, his Dad’s girlfriend’s son got him a job at the construction company he works at. KOTS mom and dad are also helping him get an apartment so he’ll have a place to live (besides here). I’m looking forward to seeing the “before” picture of this aprtment and an “after” picture. Legal note: We are not co-signing the apartment lease if you are wondering. I mean, look at my carpet? Does it look like I’m stupid? Hmm, don’t asnwer that one.

So in the last few weeks, KOTS has been forced to grow up and act like an adult instead of the thirteen year old he’d still like to be.

Now we see KOTS a lot more than we use to. He likes to vist our home for the food but at least his mom gets a chance to see him more often than she did before. He also likes to enable him with gifts of food so he has a vested interest in coming over to the house. I suspect we’ll see KOTS quite a bit more once he gets his apartment and needs to have it filled with toilettes, food, milk, etc.

Thanksgiving and KOTS

Thanksgiving is over and it was a huge success. My hat is off to my darling wife (and I’m not being sarcastic either) because she, our family friend Lynn, and her son Matthew. This was our first year where we cooked the turkey with an electric deep fryer. It turned out excellent. One of the downsides of this Thanksgiving was the lack of KOTS being with us. He couldn’t make the time to come to Anderson Island and enjoy the turkey dinner. This isn’t the first time KOTS has skipped Thanksgiving dinner with us. This deeply saddens his mother and is most annoying to me. Hopefully, he decided to make the right choice and spend time with his dad instead of just blowing off with his girlfriend.

We don’t mind him spending time with his girlfriend. We’d like her to come over for dinner (we haven’t seen her since August). We actually like KOTS’ girlfriend quite a bit. What she sees in KOTS, I really don’t know but that is for another blog entry down the road.

Another reason it was important for KOTS to come was the fact, he had moved out of our house! Yes, KOTS’ pushed his mom a little too far in his lack of motivation and was asked to leave. I didn’t ask him to leave, his mother did.

While cleaning out his room, I removed seven bags of garbage and trash. I discovered a lot of almost brand new clothes that appeared to have been worn once. I wash them and bundled them up but KOTS has picked them up yet. We also had the carpets cleaned but the stains weren’t able to be extracted from the carpet. Sad, that a carpet has been ruined (no other carpet in the house is ruined..hmmm…now how could that be?).

With KOTS out of the house, he had to actually look for a job! Luckily for him, his Dad’s girlfriend’s son got him a job at the construction company he works at. KOTS mom and dad are also helping him get an apartment so he’ll have a place to live (besides here). I’m looking forward to seeing the “before” picture of this aprtment and an “after” picture. Legal note: We are not co-signing the apartment lease if you are wondering. I mean, look at my carpet? Does it look like I’m stupid? Hmm, don’t asnwer that one.

So in the last few weeks, KOTS has been forced to grow up and act like an adult instead of the thirteen year old he’d still like to be.

Hellriegel's Foto 1, Inc.

School Photo Options for the Seattle School District

Erotica Readers & Writers Association

This site contains explicit material intended for adults

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

As I navigate through this life ...

Sleeping on the Diagonal

Random Ruminations on Single Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wine

S.D. Lange ~Erotica~

Where Kink Meets Romance

Sexy Romance Novels

Novels that leave us breathless

making peace with the wrong side of 40

My midlife crisis made me want to live simply. Unfortunately, there isn't much simple about it most days.

New England Nomad

All Things New England

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Abbey Co.

Lifestyle Blogger, Big-Time Foodie, Mommy x2, USCG Certified Captain and Boat Boss, Baker of Too Many Sweets, and Total Northwest Lifestyle Fanatic

The Coffee Life

Writing | Books | Caffeine | Life

The Tawdry Tales of Tess

Memoirs, Musings and Advice from a Very Naughty Girl

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

The Brasharian

style and culture blog

%d bloggers like this: