Updating your Life with Worthless Advice: Career Changes

Every once in while, I think I should switch careers and do something else besides photography.  Then I realize that I don’t any transferable job skills. Rather quickly, I give up that line of thinking.  Oh no, you might be telling yourself…Kevin is giving up on his dreams?

Hold on now, let’s have a reality check.  Currently, most of my time is devoted to avoiding work, watching TV, reading about “making money online”, and taking naps.  Sometimes, I do manage to do a little photography work and get paid, but those days are few and far between.

I do a fair amount of daydreaming and thinking that I want a regular 40 hour a week job with benefits.  A few of my friends laugh at this idea (or they maybe laugh at me actually working a 40 hour week).  But it isn’t the idea of having to work 40 hours a week that appeals to me (who wants to work at all?), it is the appeal of the wonderful world of benefits: medical, dental, vision, a pension plan, a 401k plan, etc.

Again, I then realize that these are great things but the chances of me getting an easy job with great benefits is pretty darn slim.  Heck, our unemployment rate in Washington State is currently at 8.6%.  According to Cyndi (my imaginary stalker), I’m a highly desirable individual with marketable job skills that just needs to get out there and give it the good old college try.  But then you know how Cyndi and my mother like to build me up with positive affirmations!  They both agree that I’m wonderful!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Light Rail rider/passenger

Bus rider/passenger

Blogger (everyone is doing it and none of them are being read)

TV watcher

Novel reader

Internet surfer

Talk Show Host

Advice Columnist (Worthless Advice Columnist might be easier for me)

Motivational Speaker (some would say Demotivational Speaker)

Novelist/Writer

Reality Show Star!

Hiker/Wanderer

Hmm, upon further review, this list really isn’t that good.  But again, I don’t have any real job skills so producing a blog worth reading is a bit hard.  But let’s face it, this is a list of things I like to do.  And all the motivational speakers tell you to follow your heart (I learned that on the Oprah Winfrey Network OWN so it must be true!).

Now some of you might say that my list is a cop out of facing the reality of a harsh world; that I really haven’t thought of what I really want to do in life.  The harsh truth is that all I want to do is sit around the house, read a good book, do a little travelling, eat out a lot, and not have to worry about money.  Yes, I’m avoiding the harsh realities of my career change by living in today’s harsh responsibilities of my life.  Oh boo hoo.

Really, what I should do is build up my blog readership writing about making money online offering worthless advice.  Clearly, that would make my everyday responsibilities lessen to such a degree that I would be able to make that career change.  I could blog about my amazing transformation from no name blogger to internet sensation (making hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars online).  My career is set.  Bring on the money!

Worthless Advice Update “Don’t quit your day job: Making money so you can retire!”

I like how motivational speakers tell you to “follow your heart”.  I would be an awesome motivational speaker because my worthless advice can easily be translated into useful advice.  Most of the advice you hear from motivational speakers is really common sense stuff that we all choose to ignore.  We get comfortable in our lives and forget to keep pushing ourselves.  We get bogged down with everyday life.

I am a perfect example of this (I tend to be a perfect example in a lot of my worthless advice examples) .  I run my small business and I’m dog tired after a day of work.  I want to relax when I leave my office.  I don’t want to think about work when I close my office door.  Yet, I am always thinking about it.  I think about how far I’m behind in getting this order done or that project accomplished.  When will I finish that?  Did I pay car insurance?  Did I get my oil changed?

A small business is like an ADHD kid on a sugar high.  A million things are going on and you want to give your attention to all of them.  You just need to prioritize.

Ha. Ha.  I love that “prioritize” advice statement.  I like it when an expert tells us to set aside a certain day to pay your bills.  Should that be before or after I realize I don’t have any money?

I envy my friends who drive off to work, do their job, and then come back home.  They leave their job at the office.  Sure, I could probably make my life easier by planning better (gee, is that the motivational speaker in me creeping out?) but that would defeat the whole purpose of offering worthless advice.

Another worthless advice statement: “If you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail.”

Oh, touché. I guess this would be a disaster if you fail to buy toilet paper and you ran out.  Does that mean deep down you are sabotaging your own success?  Do you want to be a failure?  What would your mother think?  (Psst.  Your mom is just happy you don’t live in her house anymore.  Remember?)

Yes, you should plan.  Be forward thinking.  See?  My worthless advice is based on useful advice no one cares to remember.

When I have a chance, I’ll come up with some additional gems of worthless advice for you.