Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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I’ve decided camping is what middle class America does so they can experience what homeless people do every day. You get to see people dress like bums, not shower for a few days, wandering around, lots of dogs barking and yapping, kids screaming and yelling (much like a school yard), and parents sitting around a campfire drinking and chatting about the world in general which is just like sitting around a 55 gallon steel drum in an abandoned warehouse (just like a homeless bum).

I actually enjoy camping because I’m an Eagle Scout. I’ve done a lot of camping and backpacking. I like cooking with a propane stove and Dutch ovens. However, I’m now getting older so I prefer camping in good weather (which doesn’t happen very often in Western Washington). I now camp over the Cascade Mountains in the beautiful hot deserts of Eastern Washington. I have given up on camping three days in solid rain and have run away to the dry heat of Eastern Washington.

Besides rainy Seattle camping weather, I also don’t like camping in the snow. It really isn’t enjoyable. It’s cold, your body heat melts the snow so then you are wet and cold, and you have to sleep overnight in an igloo or a tent. Now, that is cold. Cold and wet. Yup, not really fun at all.

However, I do enjoy camping in the warmth of Eastern Washington and the sunshine. The kids like camping too (can’t say the same about my wife) so the experience is enjoyable. And it is warm…not cold or wet. You can lie in your inflatable air mattress, safely situated up on a cot, the wind rustling through the leaves of trees, manicured lawns beneath you, the state park watering the lawns at 2 am (thus waking you up with the fear that your tent is getting soaked but it’s not).

What better way to enjoy your family than camping? Sure, you could get a nice condo on Kauai or even at Lake Chelan but is that really going allow you the stress of cooking on a small propane stove, keeping your kids from lighting themselves and each other on fire, wondering if the eggs in your cooler are still good, and whether or not you should kill the campers next door (who though it was hilariously funny to pretend they were cats and meow at 1 am).

Camping is about bonding with the family and picking ashes out of your scrambled eggs. I recommend it to everyone.


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