Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: sand

My Prefect Gift: My Stories

Have you be on vacation lately?  Do you feel that you have to buy souvenirs for all your friends and relatives back home?  You know, all those schmucks that didn’t come with you on your dream vacation?  And now they want a gift from you?  An expensive trinket that means nothing to them but costs you a fortune.  A trinket to prove your friendship?

No, my dear worthless advice blog readers…this is when we put down our foot and say “No more worthless gifts”.  Let me enlighten you, dear readers to a gift that keeps on giving to my friends and relatives…my stories!

How can my stories be a gift?  Upon my return from a trip, I’ve noticed my kids usually ask this question: What did you bring me?  When they were younger, I use to be able to get away with bringing them restaurant napkins or maybe some airline peanuts.  Heck, when they were younger you could bring them a hotel brochure and they would be impressed.  But now, they want more.  You know…things like a tee-shirt…a snow globe…a boxed set of Chinese throwing stars…a new Dell Alienware laptop….typical things for kids.

family-591579_1920Instead, I bring them my exciting stories of making Kona coffee in my hotel room, ordering a sandwich at a beachside deli, and how the old lady almost ran me over at the cross walk.  I let them know that my life is exciting and dangerous; yet can be boring and mundane at times.  Clearly, my listeners will learn from my engaging and entertaining stories and appreciate them more than a dull old trinket from my Maui vacation trip.

Who wants a seashell lei when they could instead feel the salt spray on their face as they listen to how I walked along Wailua Beach on Kauai at sunrise?  Their mind will hear the crashing of the waves on the beach, the Hawaiian music floating across the lobby of the hotel, the soft gentle trade wind will kiss their face, and their eyes will begin to squint when I mention the bright sun reflecting off the golden sand.  Truly, my vast stories have awoken them from their mindless slumber and taken them on a journey like no other.

1 palm-tree-2095813.jpgMy stories of coconut palm trees swaying in the wind will delight the young and old alike.  Maybe I should even talk about the annoying tourist at the bar?  You know the guy that talks way too loud and complains about being there?

Yes, dear readers, you are welcome!  (I know you want to “Thank” me for sharing my stories) in my blog.  In fact, leave a comment about this post or your favorite story below in my comments section.  And if you’d like to do a guest blog entry, send me a private message.

 

Advertisements

Disaster is My Middle Name….

Gravel, gravel, gravel....

Gravel, gravel, gravel….

You know that bad feeling you get when your projects have gone horribly wrong?

That is how my whole backyard feels to me right now.  A few weeks back, my stepson became my indentured servant by needing money for rent.  He offered to come work for me in my yard doing various grunt work projects.  I appreciate him not asking me to loan him the money but instead offered to work for it.  Now he is over at my house on various weekends doing year projects to pay off his debt.

This arrangement is excellent for me because it gets me out of a lot of heavy lifting, wet weather, and hard work. On my never ending “To Do List”, I do have yard projects and clean up projects.  However, I really didn’t want to have to worry about all this stuff in the middle of the winter season.

Yet, I am dealing with the yard projects to keep my stepson busy.  To keep him busy, I’ve had a new sand pad created for the pool to sit on, new gravel paths near the garden shed, transplanted a tree, and made a nice gravel pad for my recycling bin, garbage can, and yard waste bin to sit on.  He has moved my compost pile from one side of the house to the other.  All of these projects needed to be done and it is nice to have them done before summer.  They have been completed without any major hiccups until now.

Now, the bigger problem we have looms like a small mountain in my driveway, mocking me.  It keeps telling me that we are nowhere close to getting things done in the backyard and it will be there forever.

My problem: The large pile of gravel in my driveway. 

In hindsight, I overestimated how much gravel we’d need for all the projects around the house.  Usually, with my superior math skills (to think I made it through calculus), I grossly underestimate my raw material needs.  More often than not, we end up making two or three more trips to the Palmer Coking Coal Company to get more gravel.

This is not the case with this huge pile of gravel.  We can’t spread this stuff fast enough.  I seems like this gravel pile isn’t getting any smaller and I’m afraid I might never get into the driveway again at this rate. My wife has voiced her opinion that our whole backyard will become a giant gravel field.

Isn't it pretty?  And it looks so nice in my driveway!

Isn’t it pretty? And it looks so nice in my driveway!

This thought is somewhat amusing if I didn’t have the same fear myself.  Of course, my wife only visits the yard on summer days so we should be good until August (here in the Seattle area) for her to realize if her fear has materialized or not.  Kind of sounds like prison, doesn’t it?  “Yeah, da wife is only allowed out once in a while….don’t let her see the outdoors much.  Gotta keep her indoors cleaning and taking care of mine kin.”  (I do hope I sound redneck enough….)

Tomorrow will be the big day to see if my stepson can power through the rest of the gravel pile.  Otherwise, I think we’ll just have to live with it until summer.  As always your comments are welcome but please remember that you’ll never have as much worthless advice as I do.

My garbage can now has a very nice place to hang out when not out in front of my house.

My garbage can now has a very nice place to hang out when not out in front of my house.

Hellriegel's Foto 1, Inc.

School Photo Options for the Seattle School District

Erotica Readers & Writers Association

This site contains explicit material intended for adults

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

As I navigate through this life ...

Sleeping on the Diagonal

Random Ruminations on Single Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wine

S.D. Lange ~Erotica~

Where Kink Meets Romance

Sexy Romance Novels

Novels that leave us breathless

making peace with the wrong side of 40

My midlife crisis made me want to live simply. Unfortunately, there isn't much simple about it most days.

New England Nomad

All Things New England

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Abbey Co.

bringing you all of the best of the pacific northwest

The Coffee Life

Writing | Books | Caffeine | Life

The Tawdry Tales of Tess

Memoirs, Musings and Advice from a Very Naughty Girl

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down

The Brasharian

style and culture blog

%d bloggers like this: