Tag: holiday

Crap I don’t Want for Father’s Day

~ K ~ 18 Comments

Father's DayFather’s Day – Oh, how I hate you.

As a father to 0-3 kids (sometimes I claim them…sometimes I don’t), I hate Father’s Day.  I know I’m an awesome father, why do I need a special day?  Father’s Day is a made up holiday that really does nothing but support the retailers of America.  Do they have Father’s Day in other countries?  Don’t answer because I don’t really care.  I don’t care about ours so you can surmise that I really don’t care if you have a Father’s Day either.

I tell my family not to buy me anything.  I’ll accept a homemade card and some food but I don’t need anything else.  Make me breakfast; I’m OK with that.  If you insist on getting me something, please us the following as guidelines.

I don’t want the following:

  • Track Suit/Sweat Suit – Do I look like I’m a retiree?
  • Ties – I have plenty.
  • Crappy Art Work – for Pete’s sake you are teenagers and young adults, if your artwork looks like crap now just give up drawing anything.
  • Coffee Mugs with “World’s Greatest Dad” on them.  We already know I’m the best.
  • Dinner Out at a Restaurant – I end up paying so how is this different than any other time we go out for dinner?
  • Book Ends – I saw this on a website as a suggestion.  Really? Bookends?
  • Books about Rich People – Thanks for making me feel like a failure…again.
  • New fad “Diet” books – I know, I know…I’m fat.

Things You Can Get for Me for Father’s Day

  • A handmade card – use multiple colors and write something creative.  Put some thought into it. Bust out those old color crayons and pens and get cracking.  I want some artwork I can sell.
  • A photo of you and your siblings –  Give me the illusion you like each other and get along with each other.
  • Liquor – A nice whisky or scotch…don’t go cheap on your old man.
  • Food items, candy, etc. – I’m a man, so food works.
  • Experiences – let’s do a hike, river rafting trip, burying a dead body, etc. together.  Make a memory with me.
  • Cologne – ask your Mom; don’t pick something for me…ask your Mom.  I don’t want to smell like some cheap boy band member or that I just step out of prison for a weekend visit.

Oh, by the way, Father’s Day is tomorrow.  Don’t worry; you don’t have to do anything.

fathers-day-joke-card-5

 

 

Thanksgiving 2010

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving!

My blog wouldn’t be complete if there was an old ode to Thanksgiving this year.  Trust me, this isn’t some sappy “I’m thankful for….” blog about how much I’m thankful for this and that.  Really?  Everyone (well, the two people that read this blog plus Cyndi my imaginary stalker) know that I am a very thankful person (and sarcastic).  Like most people with half a heart, I enjoy the fact that I actually like and enjoy my family and friends.  Unlike the Dr. Seuss character “The Grinch”, I like Thanksgiving and Christmas and the holiday cheer these holidays bring.

However, due to the weather, this year’s blog comes from our home in Kent versus our usually location of Anderson Island.  With all the snowy weather conditions we have had over the past two days, we made the decision to stay home this year instead of traveling and hosting Thanksgiving at the family cabin on Anderson Island.

This decision comes with mixed feelings.  We enjoy the trek to Anderson Island and the adventure of having Thanksgiving dinner on Anderson Island.  Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday because it has nothing to do with gift giving and presents.  It is strictly a holiday that you get to see family and friends (that you hopefully enjoy) and enjoy a great meal.  Now, if you don’t enjoy the people you are with during Thanksgiving, then you have to come up with some better excuses for not going to that host’s Thanksgiving dinner.  Maybe take a vacation trip to Kauai instead?  (Heck you can stay at http://www.makanacrest.com)

Why waste your time with people that you don’t enjoy?  You distance yourself from negative friends, why not do the same thing with your relatives?  If you don’t like them, why subject yourself to their company?  Why surround yourself with them?  Thanksgiving is like the 4th of July.  It is a holiday that you don’t have to think about, you just have to enjoy it.  Life is too short to waste with stress about family gatherings and conflict.

So this year, hopefully you made the commitment to enjoy your Thanksgiving!  Now, you just have to get through Black Friday and Cyber Monday!

As always, you are more than welcome to leave your comments.