Category: Humor

Slave Child Labor: Is it really a bad thing?

~ K ~ Leave a comment

This is my first blog using Google Docs so I’m not sure if I’ll actually get it right. Today was a great day because I had an awesome visit with my parents on Anderson Island. We had a good time talking and discussing a lot of different issues. I was quite pleased with the visit if I do say so myself.

Upon my return to my lovely home, I managed to get a few more items done on my Yard Project 2011 punch list. I even made my neighborhood demon twins (4 year old twin boys) help me. As previous reported, the twin boys’ parents let them do whatever they want without supervision. They are allowed to play out in the front yard and the upper part of the cul-de-sac (where I live) without anyone watching them. The neighborhood (or God) will watch over them. The neighbors have reported sightings in the next cul-de-sac and up the street. Totally stupid ass parenting in effect and child neglect. Anyone could take these kids.

Anyway, I put the twins to work sorting out the rocks in my driveway. The rocks are part of my landscaping project so they sorted the round rocks from the broken basalt rocks. They are good workers; pretty smart too. I can’t wait until they get older and can do some real heavy lifting. Overall, they aren’t bad kids. Just unsupervised.

After the rock and stone sorting, I had them sweep up the remains of the pile of rocks I had. I must admit child labor turned out in my favor this time. So much for Upton Sinclair’s novel “The Jungle” (a really good read, slightly communist towards the end but I read it 18 years ago so my memory maybe foggy) and child labor and the American Dream.

At least these kids weren’t unsupervised for an hour or so while they worked. Still, very disturbing the parents aren’t around to watch them.

No One Listens to Me

~ K ~ 1 Comment

Oh Boo Hoo…no one ever listens to me!

I’ve decided that most people will ask for my advice but then they won’t listen to it. I really don’t think my advice is bad; more that it isn’t the exact answer they were hoping for. Granted, I am no Ann Landers or Dear Abby but I have a good common sense approach to most situations and problems. I can talk about the pros and cons of each course of action and give an honest evaluation.

I don’t like to offer unsolicited advice because no one seems to listen to my solicited advice. So why bother saying anything?

A lot of people don’t like to hear you about the problems in your life because it is construed as “whining”. Is it whining or is it opening up to your friends so they know what is going on your life? Do your friends really cared? Are your problems more important than their problems?

Honestly, your family and friends could care less if your problems exist. Your opening up to them should help to explain the aguish you are going through. But do they listen? No they don’t. They have their own problems to worry about you and on the flip side you have your own problems.

They don’t have time for you to express your opinions or to actively listen to what is going on with your life.

So the best course of action can be summed up as: Keep your mouth shut and your problems to yourself.

Forward Ho! And don’t bother to leave any comments or actually read this last sentence because that might say you actually care.

Texting my Daughter’s Friend’s Parents

~ K ~ Leave a comment

I recently had to text my daughter’s friend’s parents to make sure they had the correct address for our home. Not a huge problem…just send them our address via text message.

They were overdue so I sent the following message.

Me: Having problems finding our house? Our address: 1XXXX SE 23X Street Misty Meadows neighborhood (behind the pink mansion).

Them: Who is this?

Me: Hi Mark, it’s K’s dad Kevin

Me: Angie wanted to know where K was. I told her not to worry but I wasn’t sure if Lisa knew how to find our house.

Them: You have the wrong number stop texting me.

Me: Sorry.

See, wasn’t that a pleasant way to end the texting conversation? I really wanted to say:

Me: Maybe if you were better at texting and faster responding to me I wouldn’t be sending you a bunch of texts you dork.

But I didn’t….I was nice because they had my address. Don’t want to upset some crazy like me!

FUIing – Facebooking Under the Influence

~ K ~ 2 Comments

FUIing – Facebooking Under the Influence

I’d like to thank my friend Kelly to introducing me to the term “FUIing” and warning me about the dangers of such behavior. I have decided not to be on Facebook while I have a few drinks in me. I have made some hilarious comments after I have had a few drinks….which turn out not to be so hilarious (or the people I wrote to didn’t have a sense of humor).

While many people think they are funny while drinking, we can all agree that they aren’t. Sure, they might do a few funny things or whip off a funny comment here or there but the reality is, they aren’t that funny. They are even worse when they are sober. Or perhaps when you are sober, you realize how stupid drunk people are.

Hold on now…this isn’t an AA commercial, but you should be aware that most likely, you aren’t as funny as you think. Which brings us back to FUIing.

Now, regardless of what you think, FUIing is not acceptable. We all know that it is extremely funny to leave your witty comments on your friend’s wall but nothing good comes of it. Especially when your lame friend doesn’t have a sense of humor. Seriously, why bother having a Facebook page if you aren’t prepared to have your chops busted by your friends? It really is your friend’s fault for not having a good sense of humor and understanding how funny you are.

FUIing can also lead to BUIing (Blogging Under the Influence) and you know that will certainly lead to nothing but trouble.

So, we have established that FUIing and BUIing can be bad things. We shouldn’t post things while we have been drinking because it can lead to misunderstandings and hard feelings. We should understand that our sense of humor might not translate into something funny online. Or your friends might not be as open minded or have a great sense of humor you thought they did.

Be careful out there while you reading about your friend’s awesome lives on Facebook while you wallow in depression over how sad your life really has become. The truth is that your life isn’t that sad. You are just being fooled by the numerous posts of all the good things people have to say. Most people don’t report how they had a bad class of diarrhea from the new restaurant down the street, or how their son is a loser drug user, or how they crashed their car while texting and checking their email.

Thanks for reading my all important blog and my need to be noticed and important in my own mind.

Yard Projects and help from my three year demon neighborhood twins

~ K ~ Leave a comment

OK, I admit it. I am addicted to the DIY (Do It Yourself) network. I find myself watching it more and more everyday. Mind you, I’m multi-tasking because I have my handy dandy laptop to use while I’m watching the DIY channel. I can check my email and watch my favorite shows “Turf Wars” and “Yard Crashers” so it’s not like I’m not getting any work done.

I do go down into my office “man cave” and focus on work. I don’t watch any TV in there nor do I log on to the DIY website either. Now, that is some self control, right?

This summer, I want to redo my yard. Overall, I’d like to replace some railroad tie retaining walls with rock walls. I’m also going to add a fence and two gates between my house and my two neighbors. I have come to the conclusion that my neighbors down the street will not be keeping a close eye on their three year old twin boys. This is nothing new. Today, the boys were in a construction zone in our neighborhood. The power company is installing new underground cables and the boys think they should be in the middle of the action. The construction workers have talked to the parents twice and today I called the mother today to tell her to watch the kids (lest they be run over by a backhoe).

Seriously, who lets their kids run around in a construction zone? These two kids are three years old and they wander away all by themselves. Their parents do not watch them. Child Protection Services have been called before. They will be hanging out near my house for hours because my kids are out in the cul-de-sac playing. It is just crazy. Like a Stephen King novel, you turn around and they are just….there.

So I am concerned that they’ll be hanging around my house during all my yard projects, bugging me and possibly getting hurt. We’ll have cement mixers; rocks, gravel, and beauty bark…all laying around for children to play in. Heck, throw in a few shovels, pick axes, and chainsaws and we have all the fixings for a grand old country time…yeee hawww!

Besides, my yard becoming a death trap for small children, I hope to have everything finished by the end of July (if not sooner). I’m sure work will get in the way of my free time and put me behind my yard schedule. Work can be so annoying sometimes.

As always, your comments and links to my blog are more than welcome!

Brownie Troop Update: May

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Brownie Update: End of the Year!

Our Brownie Meetings for the year are winding down to a close with only one more meeting in June coming up. After my continued behavior at the Brownie Meetings, my daughter’s “wild behavior” hasn’t been an issue. Hmmm. I’ve been helping out the current leaders as have some other parents. My daughter and I even got to bring the snacks for the last meeting. She asked for nice yummy, sugar filled, high calorie, frosting covered doughnuts. Oh yum!

On the day of the Brownie Meeting, I stopped by Happy Donuts (located here in Kent, WA) for two dozen donuts. I love to support small, locally owned businesses and this one fits the bill. Plus the doughnuts are really good.

I did think about bringing some carrots, apple slices, and nuts for a healthy snack choice. But then I thought, why bother? The kids aren’t going to pick that over donuts so I axed that idea.

During our current Brownie Meetings, snack time is near the beginning of the meeting. In hindsight, donuts probably aren’t the best snack for 8 year old girls before they sit down to do a sock puppet craft project. They were a little squirreling listen to Leader J talk about the Girl Scout history and the sock puppet project. She does do a good job on crafts. I’m not a craft person (unless it involves power tools) and I don’t sing either (unless it is an Irish drinking song) so it is nice to have a leader that likes that stuff.

Do to my friction with the current leader administration, I chatted with my daughter about joining another troop (one of the girls that left has joined a troop and her Dad told me about it) or starting our own troop. We have enough girls to start one and I have the training. I also signed up a few other parents to be registered in a pre-emptive preparedness move in the event that I did want to start another splinter cell Brownie troop.

Of course, she wants me to start a new troop. So I did the unthinkable and started my own troop! I called up the Girl Scout office, chatted with my friend about it and she had seen it coming. We can start anytime she said. We haven’t told the current troop leaders we are leaving…yet. I want my daughter to go to the End of the Year Meeting and enjoy the pizza and finish up the last of the craft projects.

Then we might even have our own Brownie Troop meeting before school gets out. I wouldn’t mind a field trip or two during the summer if time permits.

Looking forward to more Girl Scout adventures with my daughter’s new Brownie troop!

Catching up at work!

~ K ~ Leave a comment

May is two-thirds done and I am finally getting a bit caught up with all my work. I have put my blog on the backburner. I even had the insane idea of doing a garage sale to get rid of stuff; it didn’t make much sense considering how far behind I feel I am at work. Whether I really am behind as much as I think I am can be debated. Nevertheless, I am catching up.

The hardest part of photography is the backend of the business. The photography (creating the images) is the easy part. The hard part is all the paperwork and processing of the digital images that will drive you nuts. I don’t mind the retouching but some days I wish I could just throw the whole job in a bag and send it to the lab for them to deal with. A magic job sack

I still need to work on my ebook and I have decided to do a major landscaping project this summer because I’m nuts. A few days of sunshine and my creative juices start flowing. I start thinking to myself….I want to remove this retaining wall and put in a stone wall….but how do I make it all flow……yet I want a patio outside my office door…or maybe a deck would be better…

I actually like to do building and yard projects. Now, my wife would question that statement and would refer to the numerous unfinished yard projects I have. She just doesn’t understand I don’t like working in the rain…or the cold…or when it is too hot. That means I have about a two week window sometime in July that might work for me and I’m usually gone at that period on vacation with the family.

Regardless of what actually happens, I can tell you that I’m looking forward to a fun filled summer. Whether it is in the yard or on some tropical island, I’m looking ahead to some fun with the family.

Stupid Like the Rest of America!

~ K ~ 2 Comments

I’m stupid just like the rest of you!

One would assume that since I blog that I am naturally a great and gifted speller. That is far from the truth which also leads into the fact that I’m quite terrible at grammar. I switch from past tense to present tense and really couldn’t tell you which is which. The only reason any of my blogs or writings make sense is due to my love of reading.

I am a good example of learning by example. I like to read and when I do, I actually study how the sentence was structured, how it flows, and why it makes sense. It probably also helps that 80% of the population reads at an 8th grade level so it is quite easy to write at this level. Considering that, I probably don’t write to a higher level because I’m lazy. So in essence, I am lazy and stupid. Man, my college professors at the University of Washington would be so proud of me!

Let’s face it, I’m not very good at writing and I can admit it.

Being a School Photographer

~ K ~ 4 Comments

Is being a photographer really glamorous?

Most people that I talk to think that my profession as a photographer is exciting and glamorous. A common perception of my life is that I live a jet setting lifestyle, uploading my recent images to our cleverly designed website (which happens to get 100,000 hits a month…no problem), I love all photography, and I can make everyone look like a hot model during any time of day, in any situation.

“Oh, you’re a professional photographer…how exciting!”

Well, not really. I enjoy my life as a photographer only because I have focused on the photography I like to do. I estimate that my photography business is 90% school photography and the remaining 10% being weddings (I now do one a year), family portraits, business headshots, and high school graduating senior portraits.

Personally, I enjoy working in the school photography environment because I like kids. Yesterday, I was at one of my preschool accounts and four different mothers came up to me separately and said how much they enjoyed my photography over the years. Two of them had older kids in the local elementary school and they both complained about the poor quality and poor attitude of the school photographer there. It does take a certain type of person to become a school photographer and I’m that person.

Most other photographers (and some of the general public) look down on school photographers because they don’t consider us artists. I beg to differ but they learn that attitude because most of the school photographers are huge, cheap photography chains. The people that work for these huge chains are not photographers; they are merely people trying to find themselves. They are paid poorly and it reflects in the work they produce. The chain photographers usually don’t last too long before they decide to jump ship and do something else. In the meantime, they don’t enjoy the school photography business and thus produce a lousy product and tarnish the school photographer image.

As a self-employed photographer, I am paid much better, produce a high quality portrait product, and actually enjoy my job! I’m part photographer, part clown, part counselor, and all fun! Parents want to have a real, natural smile from their child. I don’t mind being goofy to entice that smile from kids to get that fun portrait. It is part of the job and it makes the job fun.

Sometimes, a parent will let me know they are a photographer, a little scared that I’ll feel threatened. I like to meet other photographers because they often have a little tidbit that might help me in my business. Exchanging ideas is awesome!

Some parents want to get into photography as a business. “How do I become a photographer?” is a question I’m asked a lot. Most don’t want to become a school photographer like me, so I have no problem giving my advice and telling them about my experience. Honestly, the photography business has changed so much in the 18 years I have been involved in it that I am always learning new things!

My dad is also a school photographer (since 1968) http://www.portraitskauai.com/ and http://www.kauaiweddings.com/. He has seen more changes that I have! He still loves photography. People always ask me if he is going to retire. I laugh at that question. He loves school photography too much to quit.

Which made me start to think that perhaps I should share my school photography business knowledge with my own website that talks about it. In the near future, I’ll be developing my new blog and website www.becomeaschoolphotographer.com
If you haven’t had a chance, surf on over to my website at http://www.hellriegelstudio.com
Thanks for reading! As always, I welcome your comments!

Snow Camping

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Happily, I have returned from one night of snow camping this past weekend with the Boy Scouts. The Boy Scout troop left on Friday morning and spent two nights out there. Luckily, I had First Aide and CPR training so I was able to go up for only one night. My son spent two nights in the igloo he and his fellow scouts built.

Snow camping isn’t my favorite type of camping because, frankly, it is cold. It isn’t just a little cold, it is freezing cold and I really don’t like to be cold. Yes, I admit it; I’m a fair weather camper.

Now that my son is in Boy Scouts, I’ll be doing a lot more camping. Considering that we live in the Seattle area, we’ll be doing a lot of camping in the rain. To my benefit, our Boy Scout troop only does one winter camping trip a year. I personally don’t think I’d want to do more than one winter camping trip a year. Like I said earlier, I like to be warm.

When you are winter camping, you are sleeping outside (in a tent) with the temperature at or below freezing or in an igloo (which is at freezing or below because it is an igloo). Mind you, if you are outside in a tent and it is 20 degrees, it’s darn cold. And if you are in an igloo, you are slightly above freezing because of your body heat and it is still darn cold. Since the temperature in the igloo is slightly above freezing, it is never toasty warm and comfortable until you get into your sleeping bag (which you hope is a very good zero degree bag). Why would you want to be comfortable? That is a silly idea. No, you’ll never be in a nice warm cabin, sleeping in a nice warm bed, with lots of nice warm heat. Instead you’ll be outside in freezing weather, bonding with other equally frozen comrades.

Of course, I’m usually warm during a winter excursion because I’ve learned to stay dry. I have lots of layers of dry clothing and I like them to stay dry. When I was a scout, I was wet and cold during snow camping and it wasn’t very fun. Now, whether it is snow, rain, or sunny camping, I always stay dry, warm, and comfortable. I learned the hard way that camping isn’t much fun when you are miserable, wet, and cold.

Now camping in Hawaii is much more fun and enjoyable. I was fortunate to be able to camp in the Puget Sound and to camp on the island of Kauai (Hawaii) during my scouting career. On Kauai, the camping was warm. However, I do remember at one Camporee (an event where all the troops of the island would get together and camp for a weekend) up at Kokee that it pour rain the whole time. When I talk about the rain to people on the mainland, they always comment “But it was warm rain”. Sure, but water is water and you still get wet and miserable. If you don’t properly cover up your gear, it will get wet and you’ll be even more miserable. And if you happen to be my brother (he is an Eagle Scout like me) you might forget to bring your sleeping bag one year. Luckily for him, I had everyone donate their towels to him to use for blankets. Sure, they didn’t cover his whole body, he looked like a bum on the beach, but at least he was warm that weekend.

If you get a chance to visit Kauai, I highly recommend you consider staying at my parents’ guest cottage. Here’s the link: www.makanacrest.com They also offer wedding services on Kauai and that link is: www.kauaiweddings.com