Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Dear Facebook: 67% of us are leaving you….


This morning one of our local TV stations mentioned a survey about Facebook users.  You can imagine that a lot of us might spend a tad bit too much time on Facebook. A whopping 67% of the people in the survey said they were going to spend less time on Facebook this year.  Just like a meth addict coming back to his favorite drug, I know most people with a Facebook addiction will still be logged on and hitting the “Like” button.

Sure, Facebook might be one of those background windows on your desktop but it is still there.  The window is still open, you are still logged in and looking at status updates every few minutes.

My cousin is addicted to Facebook and I’m worried about her.  Like every addict, I have a sense of concern about her behavior.  She posts on the average of 5-9 times a day.  And she “likes” a lot of things.  To her defense, I know she is using social media to spread the word about her business.  Well, she should be spreading the word about her business; however it appears that she is getting off topic on every post.  I don’t really need to know she “likes” that cute puppy dog in the snow.

Of course, you can argue that my Facebook addiction is my cyber stalking of my cousin.  She is constantly on my newsfeed.  I probably should block her because her updates are really cutting into my Facebook stalking time of other people.  How can I spread out my stalking of everyone else if she is always posting and distracting me?

However, if I block her I won’t have anything to complain about.  What fun is that?  I could also not be logged onto Facebook at all.  I could go cold turkey.  I can give it up.  I can devote my time to actually work projects.  I did give up the mobile Facebook application on my Smartphone.  No one needs to know I just check in at the Bellevue Square Taco Bell (when I really should be at work).

What is the solution?  There isn’t any solution.  We are doomed.  You should know by now that my advice is heavily dosed with sarcasm and is worthless for the advancement of your knowledge base.  The only reason you should be reading my blog is to feel better about yourself.  You can learn that you are like every other Facebook user out there that wants to quit but won’t quit.

Really, if you quit who is going to “like” all those cute puppy pictures?

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4 responses to “Dear Facebook: 67% of us are leaving you….

  1. jeepinjoel February 6, 2013 at 10:26 am

    LOL love it. oh! wait…. “Like!”

    • Kevin February 6, 2013 at 10:45 am

      Oh, I better see the “Like” button pushed on my Facebook status and you should be “sharing” with all your friends.

  2. Katmo February 17, 2013 at 12:50 am

    Wait. Tully’s sponsors your blog?

    • Kevin February 17, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      Yes. All major corporations sponsor me. That’s why I walk around with my Nascar jacket featuring beer and cigarettes. I’m a corporate whore. Yet, my bank account doesn’t reflect that.

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