Everyone’s Favorite Slacker Update

Yes, it’s a KOTS update!

You’ll be pleased to know that KOTS is currently living with his Dad and still not looking for a job.  Well, he is still pretending to look for a job.  At least, my dear wife can stop stressing out on whether her son will be “homeless”.  As I predicted earlier, KOTS would never be “homeless” because of his loving family.  In all seriousness, this is not a sarcastic statement.  My wife had the misguided notion that KOTS would be living on the streets; I knew that would never happy at this stage of his life (he’s only 19 not 50!).

Really?  Why would I let him live on the streets?  We have a nice warm garage he could crash in.  Heaven forbid, I give up my hobby room (aka his old bedroom) so he could move back in, not pay rent, not look for a job, not clean his room or clothes, and not contribute to the family in anyway?  Is that selfish on my part?  Or am I being selfless by protecting the rest of the family?  Am I not the last guard that stands before the army of defeat?  Besides, we have a wonderful roomy two car garage he can live in.  If he lived in the garage, I could just pop open the garage door and air it out when it got too smelly.  Heck, I could just drag the garden hose in there, turn on the water, and wash everything out to the driveway.

Now if the garage idea doesn’t float by my wife and you other “caring, sensitive” individuals (out there in Internet Never Never Land), as a good idea, I propose we pitch a tent in the backyard.  It is June and the weather is getting quite pleasant.  I remember for two summers as a kid, I loved to sleep in the tent in our backyard in Bellevue.  It was awesome!  Why should I deny KOTS that same priceless experience?  Think of the wonderful memories he would have….waking up with the sun at the crack of dawn, the birds chirping, the soft summer breeze gently flapping the fabric of the tent.  A young man’s adventure in the wilds of suburbia; who wouldn’t want that tale to tell later in life?

Oh, how easy it is for you to judge me and strap the label of Mr. Insensative on me!  I don’t see any of you calling us or emailing us an offering KOTS a place to live.  Where are the calls and the announcement you’d love to have KOTS living with you?  Hmmm?  Why am I merely standing pat in my defense of the homeland with my desire to help KOTS grow up; to let him experience life at a point where he can still correct the course of his life before it is too late!  Yes, this forces him to learn and grow!  Am I a bad parent for wanting the best for him?  For him to grow?  Am I not the better parent than the parent that enables their children to live in the basement for years…to allow them to stagnant in their learning and life experiences?  I argue that I am the better parent for I help to push my child on a course correcting self reflection period.

However, KOTS is not learning that he must push himself to grow.  Instead he has moved in with his father, sleeps in, makes a meager effort to look for a job, and has fallen into the trap of being lost.  He’ll still sponge money off his dad and make no effort to help around the house.  Yet, I can safely say…it’s not my house!

Sex sells…but I don’t have any to sell to you!

Hey, I had to get your attention with my snide comment about “sex”.  Yes, it is a shameless attempt to get my readership to increase by a whopping 100%!  Which isn’t too hard when you look at improving from 2 readers to 4 readers, right?

Surely, people won’t click on my blog merely because I add the word “sex” to the title.  I’m positive that they will be enticed by my witty humor and insightful comments about the world around me!  That is why my current (all two of them) readers love to read my blog!  Shouldn’t I do my best to increase my realm of influence with a shameless marketing ploy?

Of course, then we could get into the ethics of marketing…is it ok to lie to gain market share?  However, let’s not waste our efforts are futile discussions about ethics.  Rather let’s focus on increasing my readership.  If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comment section below or you can drop me an email.  If your suggestion is good, then I’ll do it, take full credit that it was my idea and my idea alone that helped to drive traffic and readers to my blog.  If your idea sucks, I promise to personally write a sarcastic reply and shame you in front of the other one or two readers that happen upon my blog.

In review, my blog would be more successful if I focused on one or two subjects: Sarcasm and Everything else in the world.