Tag: writing

Labor Day Weekend – Goodbye Summer and Hello 9 month of Gray Skies!

~ K ~ 1 Comment

As you can tell, Labor Day Weekend is bittersweet for me.  It marks the end of summer for both my children and me.  No more midweek sleepovers for my daughter, no more sleeping in late for my teenage son, no more weekend outdoor parties, no more me staying up late reading novels: it is all gone after this long three day weekend.  Gone like all my hopes and dreams.  Sadly, it is back to reality: We will hold hands, lift our chins high, and head back into the regular schedule of school life.  We will forget all the fun of summer and instead welcome the cool embrace of autumn.

 To be clear, the regular schedule of school life has already started.  The kids went back to school this past Thursday.  I still don’t know why our school district thinks it is a smart idea to go to school for two days, then have the Labor Day.  Do the kids learn anything for the first two days? 

 I even cracked the door to my office, sat at my desk, and did some work as well.  The cat took her usual stop and sat by my keyboard.  Yes, everything is back to the normal school life schedule of our family.

 Fondly, I look back at summer and wonder where the time went.  It seemed like yesterday I was on the steps on the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., taking photographs, and enjoy the sunshine.  Please, take a moment and shed a tear.

 Now, all I have to look forward to is the upcoming schedule of work and nine months of gray skies.  My friends (that live in states that see the sun) always ask: “How can you live in Seattle with all the gray skies and rain?  Don’t you want to kill yourself?”

 Anyone from Seattle has the same answer: “Well, the summers are really nice.”

That’s it.  That is the only good answer.

Well, maybe there is a little more to it than that.  We have mild winters with no real crazy bad snow storms.  We don’t have a huge bug problem like other places.  When it is sunny, it is beautiful around here.  On a clear day, we can even see Mt. Rainier while we are stuck in traffic on southbound Interstate 5.

Side Note: Traffic around here sucks.  It doesn’t matter if it is a rainy day or a nice clear sunny day; some nitwit will crash into another person and cause a 9 mile back up on the interstate.  Nothing says Seattle rocks like crawling along an interstate highway in the rain.

Good bye summer, I’ll miss you!

 As always, I need your comments to make my existence worthwhile.  What are you going to miss most about summer?  Do you have any plans for Labor Day?

Boy Scout Camp: Camp Meriwether – The Camp of Broken Dreams, Tears, and Crybaby Hill

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Boy Scout Camp: Camp Meriwether

  In June, I took over as Scoutmaster for my son’s Boy Scout troop.  This was my first Boy Scout camp where I was in charge as the head Scoutmaster.  In year’s past, I have always been the Assistant Scoutmaster; not the guy in charge.  I’m happy to report that this year things went smoothly at summer camp.  No major issues to report.  The new First Year Scouts (that have recently joined our troop) weren’t too homesick and our older scouts weren’t too much of trouble makers this year.  No fires to report; no hazing; only one scout who wandered off in the middle of the night; and only one disrespectful scout (who won’t be coming back) because as I told him “There is a new sheriff in town.”

  We had 19 scouts and 6 adults attend Camp Meriwether (located on the Oregon Coast near Tillamook) this summer.  It was nice to go back to the same Boy Scout summer camp again this summer.  Again, we were luckily enough to have a great campsite with a beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean.  It is quite a bonus to wake up and see the surf crashing on the beautiful sand beach each morning.

  Boy Scout summer camp is in no way a picnic.  It is fun but it isn’t a vacation.  A vacation would entail me actually relaxing, sleeping in a comfortable bed, drinking a nice bottle of beer (or scotch) and having some really good food.  In reality, Boy Scout camp is me having to walk at least five minutes to a flush toilet, ten minutes to a hot shower, and waking up every morning at 6 am.  Not exactly my ideal vacation.  I also have to supervise 19 Boy Scouts who are mostly teenagers or pre-teens.  Imagine herding cats and you now know what Boy Scout camp is like.

  Some of the Boy Scouts are good; some are misdirected.  They are typical teenagers.  They want to sleep in (but they can’t).  They stay up too late.  Their nerves on at their last shreds of working and they begin to annoy each other.  They don’t take enough showers.  Some scouts like to take two showers a day while others don’t shower for the whole week.  Throw four boys into a cabin and it looks like the room was tossed by some overzealous vice cops on a drug bust; the cabin is just plain awful.  God knows if they actually brush their teeth or not.  Wash their hands?  One can only hope.

  On the plus side, we had great weather with mostly sunshine and no rain.  The food isn’t bad but I wouldn’t eat it long term.  To be fair, Camp Meriwether has the best food I have experienced at a Boy Scout camp.  Overall, the Scouts (and the adults) had a positive experience. 

Oh Man, Where are the Followers and What Do They Read?

~ K ~ 4 Comments

The other day I was reading a blog posting about how one of the bloggers I follow on WordPress just got his 11,000th follower on his blog.  In July 2013, he only had 6,000.  He wrote a brief “success” blog about how and what he did to reach 11,000 followers.

I am a bit jealous of his success. In his humble opinion, he isn’t the world’s best writer or blogger. His blog is so poorly written it is hard to read and gives me a headache.  I want to take my red ink pen out and correct it like a murderer/slasher on a 1990’s flick.  A lot of his problems are due to the run on sentences, bad sentence structure, and terrible grammar.

Yet, he has some great stories and 11,000 followers so I can pretty much suck it, right?  I have measly 400 or 500 followers so I really can’t say how to build up a huge following, can I?  Of course, my blog is built on Worthless Advice so maybe I’m killing myself and my blog?  He spins his tales like a drunken sailor (his description of himself) and people love it.  Imagine what he could do with a ghost writer living on Kauai?

What is the secret to his success?  He uses a bunch of tags that the magic internet search engine spiders love and brings in his type of readers (followers).  Even if his blog post has nothing to do with those tags, he still uses the same tags and categories over and over again.  Now, I’m not sure he is making money online but he has written a book and has self published it.

Oh, and a lot of his terms are about sex, crime, and drugs.  His life experiences are downright scary.  So we do know what the general public is looking for, don’t we?  And I don’t have anything against others blogging and writing exactly what they want to write.  I admire anyone willing to throw themselves out there and open themselves and their writing up for the world to see.

Your thoughts and comments?

Why My Worthless Blog Advice is Doomed to Failure

~ K ~ 6 Comments

It’s November and I’m really trying to get back into the swing of writing my blog.  It’s not easy coming up with worthless advice for my fans to enjoy.  The burden of writing worthless advice is far more difficult that writing about good advice.  My followers always want me to fight the evils of good advice and I hope I fulfill their needs.

And it isn’t an easy battle.  I always try to instill a sense of greatness into my blogs but often fail.  There is nothing more annoying that all the mountains of great advice you can find on the internet.  There is a lot of bad advice as well but worthless advice is in short supply.

It really doesn’t help that I haven’t be motivated to write because my life has been busy.  Writing is an excellent escape for me and I enjoy it.  I just sometimes have a hard time thinking of witty things to write about.  But then again, who doesn’t have a bit of writer’s block once in a while, right?

Unlike my Facebook page, I do attempt to make this blog interesting.  If you are a Facebook friend you know I barely keep that updated.  Let’s face it; social media is a huge burden.  I am often lost in the huge arena of the internet and the vast outlets of how one can promote themselves and their blogs.  How can I keep up?  I’d need an army of teenage girls to explain and keep me posted (and others posted).  I should consider outsourcing my blog or having guest writers if I want to keep this worthless advice blog going.

Now is the time for you to throw out those great suggestions on what to write about.  Brainstorm and hit that comment button below.

How to Make Your Husband feel Bad about having a Blog

~ K ~ 11 Comments

The other day, my wife pointed out that one of her classmates from high school was a writer and had a blog.  She mentioned that I should read it because it was not like my blog, that it was “uplifting”.  Ouch!

She also told me she doesn’t read my blog.  Double Ouch!

I enjoy mentioning this story to everyone I know because it is an excellent example of when your best client might not be your friends and family.

Certainly, some of your best clients will be people you know such as friends and family members.  However, most likely your best customers will be people who are not related to you but respect you because you do an awesome job.  They somehow discover that you are more than a stick in the mud and will get the job done and will make them happy.

My wife informed me years ago that she wouldn’t work for me because she says I’m too intense.  That doesn’t hurt my feelings in the least bit.  I also know she doesn’t do the best job for me as she could do.  She does an awesome job for everyone else but me.  What is the difference?  Why do I get average business support?

Marriage is the difference.  I know if I screw up, my wife loves me no matter what.  I also know that if I’m late, she might be mad but in the end, she loves me and knows that me being late isn’t that big of a deal.  Again, I know she’ll be pissed off but in the end she loves me.  And when she makes a mistake, I know that I can tease her about it for years to come.  We both know that that after 17 years of marriage, this is what you get.  Baby, if you wanted to end it, then you should have done it a long time ago.

We complain about each other (of course she says she never says anything bad about me but I know she has a lot to complain about.  Seriously, she is married to me!).  Every couple has there ups and downs and we are no different than any other normal couple.  If a couple says they have no problems, they are lying or one of the members is a dishrag.  Everyone has disagreements.  Claiming you get along all the time is you denying who you really are.  You are a liar.

Oh, did I hurt your feelings with that last statement?  Good.  Come to grips with reality.  If you love someone, they make a mistake, it happens.  Forgive them and move on.  If your life as a couple is so awful, then it is time to move on.  Cut your losses.

I read a lot of different types of blogs.  And if you were a good foller you’d know this, right?  I follow blogs that range  from ex-spouse horror stories, to dating horror stories of twenty somethings, to miniature horse advice stories (seriously…now that is some good stuff!).  If you want to become a great writer, you need to read a wide variety of different stories, blogs, novels, to know what is god writing and what is really bad.

Keep in mind, that I’m not a great writer or a marriage/couples counselor so my advice might be labeled as “worthless advice”.  Or perhaps it is advice that is so true to your heart you just don’t want to listen to it?

So if you were reading this blog for some worthless advice then I probably failed you greatly.  If you read this blog because I write about the truth, then you should be delighted with the reading experience.  The knowledge I have bestowed on you should keep you going for years (or at least days) to come.

As always, your comments are welcome as long as I love them.  Who are we kidding?  I’m a whore for comments….keep them coming and hit that “LIKE” button too!  Make me feel important and prove my wife that I do have some followers besides Cyndi my Imaginary Stalker!

 

Are You A Crazy Writer? Then maybe I’ll follow your blog!

~ K ~ 5 Comments

What Blog Style Is the Best?

 I follow a number of different blogs to give me a cross section of reading material.  Some bloggers swear, others are inspirational, some are crazy, others suffer from their craziness (mental health issues), a few are funny, and others are sarcastic like me. 

Crazy?

 Like a hobo attracted to the railroads, I love a good train wreck of a blog.  The suffering the writer has to overcome to get their feelings and thoughts into words is one of the most attractive things about writing.  My life in comparison is quite dull and drab, so I vicariously live misery through others.  Undoubtedly, this frees me up to be more sarcastic in my own personal life.

 Everyone’s time is valuable and I appreciate you reading my worthless advice blog.  Personally, my blog postings tend to go from sarcastic to informational at times.  I also try not to post just to say I posted “something”.  Of course, I could post anything, anytime because my blog has “worthless advice” in the title.  It gives me a free-for-all writing attitude.

Oh, you don’t even know the half of it!

 Of the blogs I follow, I enjoy the bloggers that have mental issues the best. This isn’t to say that you don’t have mental issues yourself; you just don’t share them enough.  The ones with mental issues allow me to step into a different world.  What is abnormal to us is normal to them and vice versus. 

 Remember when someone does something crazy or insane?  You say to yourself “What were they thinking?”  Most likely, they were crazy and that was their normal path of thinking.

 By reading crazy people’s blogs, you get to step into their head.  These bloggers gives me an insight in their craziness.  They wouldn’t blog and write about their issues if they didn’t want you to read about them.  While I may be not in the same writing arena as they are, I still like them.  I even follow a blog about a miniature horse that gives advice.  Who is more crazy…me or the miniature horse giving advice?  But I must admit, the advice is usually pretty good…..

 Thanks again for reading and enjoying my blog.

Did I hurt your feelings about Killing your Dreams?

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Yesterday, I offered my dream killing services to my devoted readers (which consists of my mother and my imaginary stalker Cyndi).  It was met with overwhelming support and I have been killing your dreams all day long.  It is hard work, dashing your dreams and hopes on the rocky shores of reality but I have gladly accepted this task to help you better yourself.

You can thank me later for slapping your face hard with the stick of reality.

Am I saying you should give up on your dreams?

Yes, if your dreams are unrealistic.  Oh, wait!  What is Kevin’s definition of unrealistic?  My definition of unrealistic is simple.  You won’t win the Powerball Lottery (Sorry, someone in Florida just won the $590 million), you won’t be the next Bill Gates, and you probably won’t be curing cancer.  Seriously, if you were on track to be the next Bill Gates would you be reading my worthless advice blog?  Uh, probably not.

I will say that if you want to be successful you need to discontinue reading my worthless advice blog.  Sure, you’ll enjoy my sarcastic wit and my blog will bring endless joy it to your miserable life but it is still a distraction.  It will merely derail you from setting your goals, making a plan, executing your plan, and accomplishing something.

But then again, the lure of my worthless advice is just so enticing, isn’t it?  I’m pretty enjoyable, aren’t I?

See you did it again….you lost focus.

Let’s circle back to reality.  No, matter how much I try, not all my advice is worthless advice.  Here I am giving you hope after I have smashed your dreams and fantasies.  The truth is that it is OK to have your dreams and fantasies.  But if you are serious about something, you need to take action.  Put your fear aside and write that novel.  Even if it sucks, at least you did it, you tried, you took a risk and went outside your comfort zone.

Good luck on those dreams of yours.  I’m still available if you need someone to destroy your dreams.

As always, your comments and insights are always welcome.  Leave a comment and tell me how much you hate my quest to kill your dream.

April, the month of doom for my blog….

~ K ~ 3 Comments

April has managed to kick me in the butt.  I’m busy at work and my blog has fallen to the wayside (like my children…well, I think I have kids or at least I have a vague memory of them).  It’s not like I don’t want to write in my blog but I feel guilty writing when I know I have work to do.  It seems like endless projects like to pop up to steal my time away. Quite annoying, eh?

Keep in mind that we have all been told that if something is important, you’ll make time for it.  I make time for work, for my family, and the millions over projects.  Blogging is important but it doesn’t pay the bills and hence why I’m still a photographer (and not a bestselling writer!).

I like writing but I also like to make sure my writing is something to be proud of.  Sure, not everything I write is prize winning but I want you to read it, to enjoy it, and want more.

Is that too much to ask for?  To have readers that care?  Readers that worship me?

Now, I’m going to make the effort to finish off the month of April with a bang in the blog department.  Let’s pump out some great blog entries for you to thinks about and enjoy.

Thanks for reading.  Leave those comments (good and bad!).

How I became a New York Times Bestseller author!

~ K ~ 2 Comments

If you really want to be depressed, do a little research into making that creative career switch.  As my imaginary stalker Cyndi and you both know, I have a dream of writing that next New York Times Bestselling novel that will make me rich!  Oh yeah! I’ll be jet setting around the country in first class (sweet!) and wearing a tweed jacket, reading passages from my latest work to adoring fans, sipping an Americano and chuckling at my good fortune.

I got into this research mode with a stop this afternoon at the local grocery store. I noticed they had some brand new books for sale on a display table near the checkout stand.  As I flipped through a few pages of the novels, I wondered how much money the author would receive from this hardcover book.  Since it wasn’t a genre I had any interest in, I made a mental note to look up the author when I got home (which I since have forgotten the author’s name and the book’s title).  Oh well.  I decided to see what an author might expect to sell their first novel for (in terms of advances) and how many copies the first book might actually sell.  Was it ten thousand books?  Twenty thousand copies?

Yikes!  What a wake up call.  It might be as low as 500 books!  I know that everyone wants to write a novel and become a published author.  I didn’t know the pay was so bad.  I looked around at a few blogs and some people commented that they wrote because they love to write.  Bravo for them!  That is fine as a hobby but not as a career.  Some comments even alluded to the fact they would make more money flipping burgers at the local fast food restaurant than as an author writing for a whole year.

I have nothing against writing as a hobby.  However, if it is something I’m really passionate about and I want to make a living at it, then I do want to get paid more than the average burger flipper.  Call me greedy for chasing the dollar but my family does like to live in a nice house and have food on their dinner plates.

Sure, I could say “Follow my heart and the money will follow”.  A better piece of advice would be to write that novel in my spare time, try to sell it, and don’t quit your day job.  We all know that no one has spare time; it would be an evening and weekend endeavor.  I don’t mind doing that as a hobby but it sure would be nice to get paid if I am doing a part time job on the side.

Writing isn’t easy.  Characters and plots take time.  You have to develop a story, write a rough draft, and edit it.

Am I whining too much?  Sure.  I’m entitled to do a little whining.  Like everyone else, I want it to be easy.  I know it won’t be easy but it might be enjoyable.

I just hoped that by investing that amount of time into a project, it would at least spin off some additional income I could invest with.  Maybe build up my retirement that much faster.  Being 40 and having a stock market crash and real estate crash knock me down a bit, it would like nice to have an extra income stream to rely on.  A business that I only had to work on a few hours a week yet would spin off some nice cash flow.  Maybe a blog about fairy tales?  Because this is what this blog entry seems to be about!

As always, your comments, concerns, and suggestions are always welcome!

Secret Confession

~ K ~ 2 Comments

I like mindless action movies like every other guy.  The fists of fury, the explosions, the car crashes, the scantily clad woman actresses, and the endless corny jokes.  It’s all good stuff.

However, I have a secret…I enjoy the trashy drama movies on the LMN (Lifetime Network).  Only you and my imaginary stalker Cyndi now know.  Why would I like this stuff?  It’s a train wreck in every movie.  Lots of betrayal, murder, cheating, insecure relationships, drinking, poor judgment, stalking, death.  And that’s the first half hour of any Lifetime movie!

My biggest excitement is when the cheater’s lover ends up dead!  I know it’s coming and I can’t wait.  Sure, it is predictable (it’s a movie) but it is so fun to watch.

Basically, the moral of any Lifetime movie is….well, there is no moral.  Someone will end up dead and the killer is either a) spouse b) close friend c) stranger (oh big surprise) or d) the photographer.

Yes, every time a photographer is in the movie, he’s the killer.  That is a know movie law that is true like the law of gravity.  Oh, there is a photographer in the movie?  Yup, he is the psycho/killer/stalker.

Getting back to the moral of the story: don’t cheat.  You or your lover will end up dead usually killed by the photographer you hired to photograph your cat Mr. Mittens flocking in the daisies.  A bit of a bummer, isn’t it?