Tag: New Year’s Resolutions

“New Year? New You?”: Happy New Year!

~ K ~ Leave a comment
Image by PixArc from Pixabay

I thought I’d get a jump on wishing you all a Happy New Year. As you know, I totally biffed the 2020 Christmas greetings. Like a 48 year old former skateboard champion that is fat and out of shape; I crashed and burned on the halfpipe of life and forgot to really doing a nice holiday greetings to my dear readers. I can feel your disappointment.

Now I’m trying to make amends for my lack of enthusiasm during the holidays with this blog post. As you all know, I have already discussed in a previous post how I don’t belief in New Year’s Resolutions for myself. However, I’m still here to help you because we all know that YOU really need help.

My wonderful attitude of helping others may have brushed off onto my daughter and that is going to be a problem for me. She is set on making New Year’s resolutions and making new goals for everyone (which includes me). Jeez, if you thought I was annoying with my life coaching, you should meet her. I can’t help every former Boeing employee find their own direction and purpose in their retired life, but I can help the one slacker I know in Arizona with my worthless advice. (Poor bastard is adrift…he’s lucky to have me.)

My daughter has adopted that awesome Life Coach attitude but her focus is ME. I’m in trouble.

She wants me to exercise more (I’m already doing that), she wants me to do positive affirmations and tell myself I’m young and healthy (I’m not), and to limit my alcohol intake (I’ve run out of whiskey so that won’t be a problem).

All noble goals to be taken seriously. And you know how serious I am.

However, using New Year’s as an excuse to create a reason to be better is a foolish endeavor. You should always be trying to improve yourself throughout the year. Why wait for this special day? And on top of all this, you end up failing and the next thing you know, January is the month of all your personal failures. Ew. No thanks. If I’m going to fail, it is going to be a year round event! Why limit it to a single month? I want to be a failure all the time.

Enjoy your private New Year’s Eve Party at home and think of all the things you aren’t going to change because it is a New Year. Instead, think of all the things you will be improving throughout the year. And when you fail, that is OK, you’ll still have eleven other months to try again and fail again.

Cheers!

So why don’t you get off your lazy butt and write something?

~ K ~ 3 Comments

So why don’t you get off your lazy butt and write something?

OK folks.  I’ve been quite neglectful in my blog writing.  Sure, I could blame it on the holiday season and say I was too busy hanging up my holiday lights all over my house, my trees, my rocks, my roof to write anything remotely exciting (or sarcastic for that matter).  But the truth is (since we are being honest, aren’t we?) I have been lazy for the past month or two.

Maybe I’m in the mist of trying to discover myself?  Or perhaps the hot butter rum was just so delightful that I could hardly string a few words together to make a sentence much less write a blog for you to read.

Even my imaginary stalker Cyndi is disappointed in my lack of writing.  I’m sorry to let her and you down.

I didn’t even wish you a Happy New Year and it is already January 7 of 2014!  Man, I am scum, aren’t I?

Let’s start writing, shall we?  Let’s talk about your New Year’s Resolutions that will fail miserably.  My worthless advice: Never make New Year’s Resolutions.  You are setting yourself up for failure.  Instead, commit to a lifestyle change for the better (why would anyone make a change for the worse?).  Choose to exercise more and to eat healthier.  Choose to read a good novel, choose to drink less alcohol, choose to limit your Facebook time stalking your ex-girlfriend (or ex-spouse), choose to get your finances in order, choose to follow my blog by subscribing to it.  Just make the choice to improve yourself.  Certainly subscribing and promoting (and sharing) my blog is a good choice for you.

See?  Isn’t that better than a worthless New Year’s Resolution?  Make better choices in life.  And your spouse says I never write anything “uplifting” in my blog.  Poppycock I say!

I look forward to offering a new batch of worthless advice to you and your fellow mankind in 2014!  Let the games begin!