Cream Cheese

On a recent trip to Costco, I purchase a 3 pound block of cream cheese.  My kids love to have a toasted bagel in the morning with a good dose of cream cheese spread across it, melting slightly.

Hmm, I can almost taste the cream cheese now…in fact, I could do what I did earlier today.  I got the toaster out, sliced a bagel in half, inserted the bagel into the toaster, pushed the lever down, watched the heating elements start and made my way to the refrigerator.  I stood before the  refrigerator, opened the door, and looked for the brand new 3 pound block of cream cheese….only to discover it wasn’t in the spot I left it.


I started looking on each shelf (making a mental note that the fridge is a bit bare) and I can’t find it.  I open the drawers…no cream cheese in the vegetable drawer…no cream cheese in the meat drawer….hmmm…where the heck did it go?

Then it occurs to me that I must have put it somewhere stupid like in the pantry or perhaps in the cabinet above the coffee maker.  I mean, that has happened before, where you misplace a bag of chips or place a can of corn in the wrong spot…so I continue to look for the missing cream cheese.  It is a 3 pound block of cheese; it doesn’t fit just anywhere.  It has to be here somewhere!

After about five minutes of searching, I still can’t find the cream cheese.  Then I remember we had a visitor earlier that day….KOTS!

KOTS has decided to take the cream cheese home with him.  What is he going to do with three pounds of cream cheese?  Spread it over himself?  This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed things “missing” from the house.  At first I thought I just had misplaced some food items or perhaps I just didn’t buy it at the grocery store.  No, I wasn’t losing them or misplacing them.  KOTS had decided that our pantry and fridge was his own private grocery store to raid and take what he likes.  It is very annoying to put it mildly.  I wanted to make a lasagna the other day…gone.  A huge box of  36 pudding cups for the kids’ school lunches…gone.  A nice steak for dinner?  Nope…it’s gone…instead you can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!  Yum!  Yum!  Eat up kids!

Luckily, our food situation has stabilized and we now have food in the fridge for the time being.  Now, if I could just find those missing chocolate truffles…..

The Mess that is known as KOTS’ bedroom!

The other day, I mentioned to my imaginary stalker Cyndi that KOTS (King of the Slackers) had been asked to move out of house.  Now, this has been a long time coming because KOTS hasn’t done much of anything to advance his life.  His dear mother has been at the end of her rope with his behavior.  She kindly told him that he needed to move out.

Now, one of her fears that KOTS would be “homeless”.  Considering that we aren’t the only relatives in his family, it is pretty much impossible for him to be homeless.  Perhaps he could be homeless if he decided not to return to a home that evening.  Certainly his dad wouldn’t let him stay homeless and not offer him a room in his home.  For KOTS to be homeless, it would be his choice not his family’s choice.

Besides, KOTS isn’t into “changes” and “personal improvement”.  For him to make a choice like this is totally out of character for him.  His idea of “personal struggle” is the fact he doesn’t have any clean clothes to wear because he is too lazy to do laundry.  His suffering (or rather the people around him’s suffering) is the stench of his clothes.

This brings us full circle back to KOTS and KOTS’ situation: KOTS is not homeless.  He has a place to live and is doing quite fine without his mommy helping him.

The amusing thing about this whole situation is that our house is no different from before.  He still comes over and eats our food, he still takes showers here (and leaves his dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor), and still doesn’t flush the toilet.  It’s like he never left.

The only major difference is that I have taken the huge task of tackling the mess that is known as KOTS’ bedroom.  I’ve been cleaning this mess and it is a very scary mess.  I strongly believe KOTS didn’t know how the washing machine worked, what a garbage can was, or that dirty dishes are supposed to be returned to the kitchen.  I have found things that would make a professional garbage man puke.

I’ve made some headway in the room but it still has the smell of port-a-potty on a hot summer day.  I have managed to wash a good deal of clothes and packed them away for KOTS.  I could pack them away dirty, however, I have a hard time imagining myself doing that.  One bigger mystery is why I’m bothering packing up these clothes when they didn’t matter to KOTS before and they don’t matter to him now.   I found a pile of socks that could have been easily washed and worn again.  Yet they were in a pile just sitting there.

Instead, my socks have been disappearing for a long time and I have discovered where they have gone.  Mystery solved!  Sometimes, I’m so proud of myself!