March 20, 2017
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Spring is here! Besides the insane amount of rain we have received in the last three weeks, spring is here and we are all happy! Pretty flowers and the smell of cleaning products are in the air. With the arrival of Spring, one should focus on the “cleaning” part of “Spring Cleaning”.
But what should you do to jump start your Spring Cleaning adventures? Oh, and you know it will be an adventure with all the worthless crap you have stuffed into your hall closet. Like a trip down memory lane (and a STD), all the forgotten items will appear once again! Your old caveman costume, your President Trump facemask, your skateboard from junior high, and your goals and dreams that you have forgotten; they can all be found in various storage bins under your stairs.
The best advice is to…wait, we never follow the best advice…we follow the worthless advice!
- Before you begin cleaning, it is a great idea to learn all about cleaning! So surf the internet and watch as many cleaning videos you can find. With a quick search of YouTube, I’m sure you’ll waste away hours (if not days) of time that you could have devoted to cleaning!
Learn all you can about cleaning on the internet becaus
- To Save Money, borrow cleaning items from your neighbor. This saves you a trip to the store and saves you money. You can use almost all of their Pine Sol cleaner. Remember to leave a little in the bottle when you return it. Don’t be selfish.
- Get the family involved with “Prison Cleaning Crew” game! This game involves telling your kids they have been found guilty in a court of law and now must do community service. Sure, your kids are “probably” innocent of their crimes, but this shows them that if they could have afforded a better lawyer, they could have gotten off scot-free.
- Declutter – Throw it all out…bills, love letters from Beth, and credit card offers are all going to the recycling bin. She broke your heart once, you don’t need those love letters causing you to rethink your new relationship with your cat Mindi. Mindi is prefect for you, she loves you. Did Beth really love you? No, she didn’t. If she did, she would have stayed instead of running off with that rich Columbian drug lord.
- Skip the Broom…use your Leaf Blower instead. Sweeping out the kitchen takes too long, just grab that leaf blower, open the patio door, and let the dust, cat hair, and winter depression get blown right outside.
- Nuke your sponges! If you like to think your sponges are clean; they aren’t. Nuke them in the microwave for two minutes. If they still misbehave, throw them in the clothes dryer for 15 minutes. I can’t promise the microwave won’t report back to the government what you are doing but I’m pretty sure the clothes dryer is part of the resistance. You can talk to the dryer, trust the dryer, the dryer is your friend.
- Windows – just close your blinds or drapes. See? You don’t see how dirty they are, do you?
- Lightbulbs – replace those bright lightbulbs with low-watt ones. The darker the room, the less you notice the clutter and grime.
- Sell and/or give all your worthless crap on Craig’s List. Remember, Craig’s List isn’t for meeting serial killers and your next “date”, it can also be use for free trash removal. You slap a “FREE” sign on any Craig’s List post and it will be gone that day. If the item is heavy, say you have a bad back and the new owners will carry it out themselves.
There is even a National Spring Cleaning week from March 12-17…oh wait, that already happened and technically spring doesn’t officially start until March 20…but you are still too late. Just wait until next year to do your spring cleaning! Just like you gave up on your hopes and desires years ago, you should give up on Spring Cleaning now.
March 5, 2017
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Sorry that this is a worthless advice tip…..and it doesn’t feature any kitty cats. Well, just a picture of a cat; that’s it.
For the past few months, we have decided to clean up and get rid of a lot of stuff that has accumulated over the past 13 years here in our mansion. Part of this cleaning focus stems from my Father passing away and my Mom needing help to get rid of stuff. In December, my son and I flew to Kauai to help my mom tackle the office and help close down the photography business.
When I came home, my son and I were in agreement that we needed to clear out the clutter. His words were something to the tune of “Please don’t leave me with a bunch of stuff to get rid of when you die.” Now, I’m not planning on dying soon but I do want to remove clutter and clean up. My wife is fully onboard and my daughter thinks we are “messy” so she fully agrees as well.
Today I noticed a slight build up of kitchen grease on the very top of our kitchen cabinet above the stove. I did a quick YouTube search and came across this helpful video (see below) I thought I’d share with you. This isn’t my video or my house. Enjoy the video and if you have any cleaning tips, please feel free to share them in the comments below!