Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

The only blog that you really want to read…or ignore.

Tag Archives: food

Tired of having a home? The Guide to living the Homeless Lifestyle (the Correct Way)!

I sometimes worry myself about how I can even figure this stuff out…..

Ok, maybe you just can’t handle the whole “owing a house or renting an apartment” thing.  Maybe you are more suited to living in your car or in a shipping crate by the railroad tracks.  Perhaps that is more of your housing style, however, what will you do about showers, laundry, and sleeping arrangements?

Not to worry dear readers, my worthless advice about “How to Be Homeless” will give you all the awesome advice (or perhaps worthless advice) you need to be successful as a homeless person.

In addition, my tips will allow you to save money and become a success in your personal and professional life.  Remember, homeless doesn’t mean you are jobless!  And homeless doesn’t mean not having a vehicle either!  It only means you don’t have a home!

Shall we begin?

  1. Be Clean: Join a 24/7 Fitness Gym with shower facilities that has many locations.  A hot shower, free soap and shampoo, free towels, and a shave?  And you exercise too?  Sign me up!
  2. Dump Your Garbage.  Learn where all the public parks are located at.  Free garbage service and access to some interesting bathroom options.
  3. Learn where all the Starbucks ae located (Just kidding…there is one on every corner).
  4. Hide right under their Noses: Find Fire Stations or Police Stations to park at.  You can certain park your car in the visitor parking lot for a few hours or overnight.  Who is going to check?
  5. Hang out in Plain Sight.  Park your Honda right at the Honda dealership or  Honda Mechanic’s Garage parking lot.  One more care isn’t going to be noticed.  Or if you have a white van, put a made up delivery company logo on your van…your van is now a delivery van.  Park it in the back of a UPS store.  You now look like you below there.
  6. Enjoy Food: Not having a home means your food budget is now huge!  You can eat out all the time or you can eat healthy salads you make in the backseat.  Yum!
  7. Visit relatives/friends during the holidays.  Bless them with your presence for two or three nights.
  8. Find locations off the beaten path that offer free power. Invest in a long extension cord from that rest stop bathroom to your car.
  9. Find 24 hour Laundromats.  Do laundry, drink beer, and watch TV.  Everyone wins here!
  10. Find 24 hour Businesses.  You can park in their parking lot and they will never know.  People are always coming and going and your car will look like an employee’s car.
  11. Get a Post Office Box for your mail.  But ideally, pay everything online.  Have auto deposit and auto pay systems set up.

Enjoy these eleven awesome “How to be Homeless Tips!”  Remember, you don’t have to let society dictate to you on how to live your life!  You can still have a nice car or van, be a clean person, have a good job, and be a productive member of society by using my proven system!

Happy Homelessness!

Do you have some awesome advice?  Well, keep it to yourself.  We want only worthless and sarcastic comments below.  Hmm, maybe you can add a few tips…go ahead…comment below and hit the “Like” button too.

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Pilot Ridge Hike – 30 miles in 3 Days

This coming weekend I’m headed out on a 3 Day/30 mile Boy Scout backpacking trip outside of Darrington, WA. We will be hiking the Pilot Ridge Hike picked by one of my senior scouts (who runs cross country and is in great shape). So you can imagine, I’m a little concerned about the least fit members of our backpacking trip. I’ve nicknamed it Anthony’s Death March in his honor.

The weather conditions this coming weekend will be sun and showers on Friday, with mostly clear skies on Saturday and Sunday.   I’m not too worried about the weather. I’m more worried about the actual hiking and backpacking. The elevation gain and loss on this hike is quite a bit. The bonus of sleeping outside two nights on the hard ground is also a big draw. Hmm, nice hard ground instead of my soft bed. Gee, I can’t wait.

I’m not too worried about the backpacking part except for my backpack will be much larger than my day pack. You have to carry everything you need for three days. At least it is summer time here so I can carry less of my backup gear. I still carry all of the Ten Essentials…plus #11 Toilet Paper and #12 Duct Tape.

http://www.wta.org/hiking-info/basics/ten-essentials

I don’t have a problem hiking. In fact, I did some high elevation hiking in Colorado in July. But backpacking is a lot different than car camping. You don’t have a nice established campsite with easy access to water and flush toilets. Camping in the backcountry is you, out there in the wilderness, making sure you have enough food and water for your entire stay. You have to be prepared. You need a decent shelter, food, water, a water filter/pump, and a handy dandy Hello Kitty LED flashlight.

When I was younger, I loved to do backpacking and camping. I still enjoy being outside hiking; the backpacking part isn’t as appealing as it once was. I’m older and sleeping on the ground just isn’t that enjoyable.

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to doing a backpacking trip with my son. We have gone camping a lot as a family and on numerous Boy Scout camping trips. This will be a fun final trip before he gets his Eagle Scout rank.

Do you have any fun day hikes or backpacking trips planned?

 

What's for dinner?

What’s for dinner?

I don’t have a job here but I’m still Employee of the Month because I rock it!

Today, I was made Employee of the Month at Gyro Café Seattle.  This is more of testimony to my wonderful work ethic and awesome customer service skills because I’m not even a real employee there!

This will no doubt make my cousin Kim extremely jealous because she has worked there longer than I have.  She also is a real employee and does more work than I could ever do because I’m just an imaginary employee.  However, even as an employee for a whole hour and 15 minutes, I set the customer service bar high.  It comes down to my superior customer service skills and my ability to adjust and adapt to work situations.  My lack of knowledge on how to operate a Point of Sale computer did make the task a bit scary at first, however, I always stay calm under pressure.  Even as I was thrown into the job as cashier, I truly rocked it and bought a whole new level of excellence to the customer service department at Gyro Café Seattle

I darn well say that the Yelp reviews posted today will be all five stars because of me.

Not to worry, I didn’t handle any food.  I only handle the sales; the money; the life blood of the restaurant.  With my great attitude and cheerful outlook on life, customers are naturally inclined to want to order from me.  They can’t help but know that by placing their order with me, it will be delicious.  That is the way I roll in any establishment I work at; I make it delicious.

Sure, you could say that the customers walking through the door already like the awesome food created by my cousin Jessica’s husband Simon, but I think we know the real reason people came in today: Me!

If you happen to be in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle, you’ll find Gyro Café Seattle located across from the South Building of the Group Health Medical Center.  Here is the address so you can pop it into your GPS tomorrow for lunch: 107 15th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98112

You can’t go wrong with the Lamb/Beef Gyro.  It’s affordable and quite tasty.  One of my favorites so you know it has to be good because I’m recommending it.

If you are looking for a positive change in your business, workplace, government office, or your home, I am available for consulting.

Until you have the nerve to call me, you can always leave your comments below.

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Opening Up those Family Lines of Communication

My wife asked me the other day, what do I do all day long.  I wanted to tell her the truth that I usually do nothing but watch TV and read blogs, but that isn’t entirely true.  I usually try to think up of ways to amuse other people with my witty commentary and open the lines of communication between family members.  For an example, the other night, we had a post Christmas celebration with some family friends.  Their children are now 22 and 24 and are both males.  One has a serious live in girlfriend and the other one is in his final year of college.

After a fun evening, they were on their way out the door and I saw the After Christmas Sales Ad for Toys R Us.  I asked the older one (with the serious girlfriend) if he wanted to look through it for some good toys.  However, this was a joint ad flyer with Babies R Us as well as the Toys R Us section.  I told him he should take the flyer home, circle a few of the car seats and baby strollers and then leave it out where his mom could find it.  He would depart to his home two and a half hours away.  She would freak out, frantically call and text him numerous times (which he could ignore and chuckle to himself) as he drove home.

See?  Doesn’t that help to open up the lines of communication in the family?

Like I said, I’m a communications expert in family relationships.

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