Christmas is around the corner and I really hope you got all of your holiday shopping done. I drove by one of our shopping malls this past Sunday and that looked crazy. Insanely crazy. I hate shopping malls all the time but to have to venture into one during the holidays is worse. I looked at that shopping mall parking lot and thought what fresh hell that must be. Thank goodness I do all of my shopping online.
To be honest, my wife does all of the holiday shopping. I just pay for it and sign the card. She is awesome for that stuff and I really appreciate her.
We are also attempting to send out Christmas cards this year. We haven’t done it for the past few years because I’m lazy. I use to write a snarky Christmas newsletter as well. I use to be really good at it. The key phrase here is “use to be”. Let’s face it; my blog doesn’t get enough attention from me so a Christmas Newsletter isn’t high on my list of things to do.
Let’s be clear, I don’t hate Christmas Newsletters. Actually, I love them. I love to get Christmas Newsletters because it allows me to read about all the fun stuff going on (without having to read all of the Facebook posts). The newsletter is nice tidy summary of the good events that have happened over the past year. No one writes about the bad stuff like how you got rear ended by the guy checking his text messages. And they avoid all of the photos of food and drinks people post. So please, send me your holiday newsletter…I love them.
This is actually the first time I have re-posted one of my blog entries. However, it was requested by one of my three followers so I thought to myself (as I talked to my cat out loud): Why not post it again?
Ten Great Reasons why I hate Frosty the Snowman!
It is the Christmas season and the wonderful time of holiday TV specials has begun. I like most of the Christmas TV specials like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, the Grinch who stole Christmas, etc. However, the one Christmas Special I can’t stand is “Frosty the Snowman”.
Really what is Frosty the Snowman? He is a bad LSD trip of some whacked out meth head. The only redeeming quality of Frosty the Snowman is Andy Griffith is the narrator of the cartoon. The rest of it I hate.
Frosty always says “Happy Birthday”. Really? What is he a homeless bum who thinks every day is his birthday? Is he too drunk to remember it isn’t everyone’s birthday? Does he need a reason to drink? “Oh, it’s someone’s birthday! Let’s go out to Appplebee’s and get wasted!” That one saying drives me nuts. “Happy Birthday?” It’s winter and almost Christmas, I’m not thinking of your birthday, I’m thinking about Christmas presents, Christmas cookies, and egg nog.
He is a cry baby whiner. There is a scene where he is all sad that the kids are leaving to go back home. Oh, poor homeless snowman. Jeez, stop your whining. Man up, build a snow house and make a snow dog to keep you company.
He sleds by just getting on his belly and sliding down a hill. Seriously, we all know that Frosty would be jumping on his belly, knocking the wind of his snowman lungs, and cursing up a storm for being so stupid. He would be doing a belly flop into three inches of snow. Don’t you think that would hurt? Darn right it would.
And really, Frosty wouldn’t be sliding down the hill. Instead, a big pile of snow would build up right in front of Frosty and he would stop in three feet. Frosty isn’t going anyway fast.
Frosty is just a homeless bum. After the kids go home to their families or single mothers. He just wanders around after dark without a purpose…just like the guy who lives under the overpass.
And do I darn mention the sequel “Frosty Returns”. Do we really need more of Frosty’s inane drunk babblings of “Happy Birthday”?
Frosty promotes smoking. In this day and age of Political Correctness, why hasn’t someone digitally erased his corncob pipe? Seriously, if they can change E.T., then they can change Frosty. It’s a cartoon! It can’t be that hard.
Frosty likes little kids….too much. He hangs around kids all day long in a nice pedophile way. Creepy just like Michael Jackson and his “Jesus Juice”. Next thing we know Frosty will want to invite the boys and girls over for a nice sleepover in his snow bed. Just plain creepy.
And in the song, doesn’t Frosty die? Sure, he melts away and in a Star Trek world he comes back. But in the lame TV holiday special he makes it to the North Pole with Santa and lives on? This is all after he puts Karen into life threatening situations (like the refrigerator train car). Karen takes a long trip ride in a freezing cold refrigerator car were most people would be a Popsicle at the end of the trip. Hell, why can’t Karen be a normal kid that just sticks Frosty on the train, sends him on his merry way, and forgets about him in 10 minutes?
Frosty the Snowman sucks. This is one holiday special I wish was lost forever in the depths of CBS television studios.
Christmas in the Pacific Northwest is not dry. On the west side of the Cascade Mountain Range, we get our fair share of rain which seems to happen for 10 months out of the year. People in general love to complain about the rain (yet we still have people moving here from out of state) but for all of the folks that live here, the rain is a part of our lives and we accept it.
I personally would like to have more snow and less rain during Christmas time. Snow enhances the beauty of the Christmas lights we have on our house and in Seattle, shuts down the whole city. Since I don’t have to commute to a job, I really like the snow. Call me “selfish” but I like to have a day or two in the snow with my kids, sledding and building snow forts. Let’s be honest, I really don’t want to work.
With the coming of snow, the news coverage is insane with the reporters stationed at the bottom of every steep hill (right in front of the STREET CLOSED sign). People are always sledding down and having an awesome time. I’m not the only one that is enjoying a day off from work; think of all the school staff happy that the students are home with their parents and they can sleep in. Snow brings joy.
Howwever, rain is much more common in the Seattle area for our typical Christmas weather. The Christmas lights are still very appealing and festive. Our cul-de-sac is great (except for one family who doesn’t do anything). My neighbor Dan is way ahead of me in the Christmas lights display. My friends come over to take photos in front of his house because it looks so awesome. Everyone asks if I’m trying to compete with him (since my house is second best) but I know I can’t. I just can’t keep up with the sheer amount of lights he has.
Dan’s display does inspire me and today in the pouring down rain, we added to our display. We added some multi-color lights to the vine maple tree, and some more strings of purple and blue lights throughout the bushes. If it wasn’t pouring down rain, I might actually be able to post some photos online. But as you guessed it, it is pouring down rain so I’m not going outside to take photos. Sorry, I’m just going to stay inside and enjoy the gas fireplace and not watch Frosty the Snowman.