Category: Family

Tuesday’s Brownie Meeting – will my daughter behave?

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I forgot to talk about my recent Brownie Meeting this past Tuesday evening. As you may remember, my daughter is supposedly the loud, insubordinate, back talking, rebel of the Brownie Troop. She already has a two page police blotter on her behavior written up by Troop Leader J. You can read the letter here at this blog post

Before this meeting, I had a talk with my daughter about her behavior. As we were driving to the meeting, I reminded her and her friend to be on their best behavior during the meeting. She did express her concerns to me that she felt Troop Leader J doesn’t like her. I told her that you just need to kill her with kindness. If someone wants to find every possible thing wrong, they will. They are looking for you to mess up. Instead, you must be sweet, kind, and polite.

I told her that when she saw the Troop Leader to say “Hello Mrs. J, it’s so nice to see you again.” And like a good little Girl Scout, she did it and Mrs. J sucked it up.

Nothing annoys mean people more than when you are nice to them. In their twisted sense of self-worth, this diffuses them. You take away their power and in turn you don’t allow them to bother you. They can’t be hostile to a person being nice to them; it defeats the purpose of being mean.

Overall, the meeting went over well with out a conflict or a hitch. We had a guest coming in to thank the girls for some craft projects they had made for the veterans at the Seattle VA hospital. She was a good guest for the girls to meet because she was 40% blind, a US veteran, and very upbeat person. She showed the girls how she is uses her walking cane and let them try it out for themselves.

Now, my daughter’s behavior was fine this whole meeting. I did however have to step in and tell a few girls not to write on the white board and to stop playing with the puppet masks. I’ll be writing up those girls into my own police blotter. Shockingly, one of them was J’s own daughter! Curiously, J failed to notice her own daughter disobeying the rules during the meeting. Troop Leader J strictly enforces the rules with other girls yet turns a blind eye to her daughters own behavior. Clearly, I’ll have to write this own one down in my little police blotter.

My daughter’s overall behavior is nothing compare to some of the other girls in the troop. Some of them are loud and say things that are mean. One girl made a point to comment that she had more patches than my daughter. I overheard this and my daughter also told me about it. I told her not to worry about it. She might be pointing out a fact and yes, it was rude, but don’t let comments like than bother you.

I guess I could have said something but I don’t think it really would have matter. This girl says stupid things like that all the time. Her mouth has no filter. Besides, I’ll be using her as an example when I give my little introduction speech at the next meeting about being kind to others. I’m also going to talk about not writing on the white board after I told other girls not to write on it. All of this will be looped into Troop Leader J’s own comments where she’ll know that you really shouldn’t be so nit picky if you don’t want it to happen to you.

Remember, don’t step into the cow pasture if you don’t want to get your boots dirty.

Is my child really that bad?

~ K ~ 6 Comments

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” -Confucius

Recently, I received a letter from one of my daughter’s Brownie Troop leaders.  It wasn’t a very positive letter.  I fully understand that I am not perfect nor is my daughter perfect.  In fact, everyone has their own personal faults and issues that they need to work through.  Life is a series of challenges and lessons.  How you choose to deal with everyday issues and life in general is entirely up to you.  You will make mistakes in judging others, your thought process will be flawed, and how you choose to solve problems might be ultimately incorrect.  You will embark on worthless causes and choose the wrong battles to fight.  The worst part is that you will be totally unprepared and unaware that you are wrong.

 That is until you meet me.

 You will draw your line in the sand and begin your battle.  Your will justify your attacks and actions with the excuse that you are a teacher.  You will make your lists, point out all the wrong doings, and in your twisted logic, attempt to correct them to your way of thinking.

 If you plan on bringing a war to me, just be prepared to be in for the long haul.  I will be into it until the bitter end.  As Rambo says “I’ll give you a war you’ll never forget”.  I will not back down and I’ll defend my position no matter what.  I will make you my hobby and waste as much time as I like and enjoy defeating you.  Most likely, you are wrong.  I will be your worst nightmare and you will be defeated.

 On that pleasant note, as I told you before I received a letter that stated that my daughter is disrespectful and disruptive.  She challenges her leaders and questions authority.  She is also eight years old. 

As I previously stated, my daughter isn’t perfect, however she isn’t a total crazed, disruptive, and disrespectful girl either.  If she thinks something is unfair, she’ll call you out on it.  You had better be prepared to defend and prove that you are right and justified in your actions.  She isn’t a doormat.

 Am I embarrassed by her?  No.  I’m proud of her assertive nature. 

Is she disrespectful and unhelpful?  Not according to her teachers, friends, friends’ parents, ballet instructors, coaches, and previous Girl Scout leader.  Her teachers often comment on how nice and helpful she is to other students.  In fact, she recently received a Sunshine Award from her school.

 What is different now?  We have a new Girl Scout Co-Leader and it is pretty oblivious she doesn’t like my daughter or our family.  She sent a letter that is more of a log of every petty nit picky item or slight that she perceives our daughter has done.  This is out of character for our daughter.  While some of it could be correct, it is also taken out of context and made a bigger deal out of than necessary.  Here is the letter:

 

Date:  January 19, 2011 

To:  Angie and/or Kevin Hellriegel

 Concerning Kxxxxx Hellrigel

Subject:  We have had some issues that T(other leader) and I thought you as her parent should know about.

 1)  Issue at 1/18th meeting –Kxxxxxx stated that she did not want to do the try it activity, which was the Stitch It Together Try It—I told her we will never make her do something she does not want to but then she does not earn the try it.  Also there is nothing else planned during this time so if she does not want to participate she should not attend.  We are not babysitters.  It takes the two of us to help with the crafts and try its.  We had one additional leader that has moved and no one has offered to take her place.  I had specifically asked one parent to help at this meeting because I felt with needles that 4 adults would be best.  K—-(another mother) was there helping with Tammy and I, but the other parent did not attend.  So if Kxxxxx doesn’t want to participate, we will call you to pick her up.  We will need a phone number where you can be reached during that time.  We do not want other girls affected by her non interest in participating.

 2)  Issue at 1/18th meeting- Indicated that she did not like the Christmas party but she did not even go.  She asked if someone else could host the Christmas party.  I responded yes, but that no one else volunteered .  (seems she has an issue with Nxxxx (another girl)?)

 

3)  Issues at meeting 1/4th (where we discussed cookies)-Kxxxxxx did not want to donate any funds raised to charity.  She was one of three girls who did not want to give any funds back to the community.  As Girl Scouts we should do good in our community just like Boy Scouts.

4)  Did not listen to me -3 times –She wanted to wipe table with really wet sponge in middle of T(other leader)’s talk about cookies. Told her no, to please sit back down and listen.  She did it a bit later anyway, leaving the table really wet and it then had to be dried.

                                       –told her to wait in line for snack for rest of girls to line up for snack buffet style, she started serving herself, had to say wait again.

                                    —told her no she could not use water because I heard her mention water balloons, a little later she had water in the balloon anyway. 

 5)  Issue at 1/4th meeting-Kxxxxx asked if she could have an extra balloon.  When I said no, she loudly told me it was unfair because H and N got a second one.  I had three reasons, not that a teacher should have to explain reasons –was out of tooters because some did not work and girls got a second one, so H did not get one of those and she very nicely asked if she could have an extra balloon instead, N’s first balloon did not work right, I did not have enough balloons to give everyone a second one  and balloon time was almost over. 

 Does not set good example to rest of girls and I will not have my daughter hearing me challenged like that. 

6)  At a previous troop meeting, Kxxxxx pointed out how unfair it was that G (Troop leader’s daughter) got a different napkin than the rest of the girls.  It made G feel uncomfortable but she was doing what I had asked her to do.  I did not have enough for all so asked her to take the different napkin. I explained that to Kxxxxxxxx.  But no “thank you” that at least everyone had a napkin.  Something they would use and throw away afterwards.  Most parents forget to bring napkins if their snack is messy.

 M and Kxxxxxx often come eating treats.  They do not bring for rest of group. This last meeting they had lollipops.  M’s was gone pretty quickly but Kxxxxx had hers well into meeting time.  It has been pointed out that this is unfair.  T and I discussed this and agree.  Our girls are there with us from approximately 3:55pm-6pm and they are not getting treats that they do not share.  So please no treats unless they share with all.  We will be telling all parents this.  If someone comes with treats they do not have enough to share, they will be asked to put it in their bag, pocket or throw it away. 

On the positive side, once Kxxxxxx heard she would not get the try it if she did not do the work, she did participate and she seemed proud of what she did.  She wants to help clean up which is very appreciated at the right time not in middle of leader talking.  (At that time it is distracting.)

 When we send emails concerning Troop events, we would like to receive a response either way if the girl is coming or not.  That way we know the email was received and it allows us to plan the event in a timely way.   

Thank you for helping us offer a positive experience to our troop,

Xxxx Troop Leaders 

As you can imagine, I was pretty upset about this.  Frankly, I was pissed off because I know this lady hates my daughter.  She hides behind God and her Bible using them as an excuse to think she is better than the rest of us.   She justifies her actions by saying they are correct because she is a teacher.  I still don’t understand the teacher reference since she is a stay at home mom and has one kid (that is in the same school as my daughter). 

I can’t stand the condescending attitude this letter has.  I had to let it stew for a while before I wrote a response.  This evening I wrote this but haven’t sent it.  If you want to read what I really wanted to write, please scroll down to the bottom of this blog posting.

 Dear J and T,

 Upon receiving your letter, we were a bit surprised, flabbergasted, and taken back at what has been happening at your troop meetings.  With the first two years of Girl Scouts, we never heard anything negative about Kxxxx’s behavior or attitude.  She honestly enjoyed the meetings and attending the camps during the summer.

 We went thru each point you and  T mentioned in your letter and discussed them with Kxxxx.  We appreciate your candor and no holds bar attitude in how you think you should approach small children in a small group setting.  I personally ran a Cub Scout den for 5 years with 11 boys and I certainly understand the challenges of discipline, leading a meeting, and teaching small children projects. 

Item 1: Needle Point Try It

Clearly, you aren’t a babysitting service and you also aren’t counselors either.  If you had taken the time to talk with Kxxxxx, you would have discovered she is deathly afraid of needles and has a great fear of poking herself.  Sadly, I’m disappointed in lack of empathy and understanding in this matter.  Telling a child she doesn’t have to do the activity is fine; shaming them into doing the activity by telling them to leave is a whole other thing.

 Item 2: N (K’s friend)

Kxxxxx doesn’t have any issues with N or N hosting the Christmas Party.  Kxxxxx likes Nxxxx a great deal.  Kxxxxx wanted to offer to host the party since we were unable to attend the Christmas Party.  She was in fact disappointed she couldn’t attend and her comments probably would have been about her own disappointment of not being there.  We had heard it was a lot of fun.

 Item 3: Cookies and Charity

Are you sending this letter of compliant to the other two daughters about charity or is it just to us?  I wasn’t at your “donation” speech, however, an open discussion about what to do with the funds the girls earn is great.  There should be an open debate about what to do with the money.  I think going to the Great Wolf Lodge is an utterly stupid way to spend the cookie money yet I’ll go along with the majority.  Girls will be girls.  Some of them might want to donate all of the money to charity and others might want to not donate anything.  As a leader, you should guide them into making good choices.  Most of the girls will make the correct choices if given the right examples.

Item 4: Listening

In regards to wiping the table with a wet sponge during T’s speech, Kxxxxx was trying to be helpful like she is at home.  She told us that she did get too much water on the table and tried to dry it up with a towel but you stopped her.  You didn’t allow her to correct the problem she thought she created.  In our house, we hold our children responsible for their messes.  If we create a big mess (mind you water isn’t that big of a deal), we want them to clean it up.  What if that was soda pop, grape juice, or milk she spilled?  Would you have let it sit there until after the speech was finished or would you have allowed her to clean it up?  It makes no sense to complain about the water and you having to clean it up.  Kxxxx would have and should have cleaned it up. 

The snack buffet line also doesn’t make sense.  She was the first one in line, thought she could take the snack but then was told she couldn’t.  Pick your battles.  Do you keep a log of everything Kxxxxx does wrong? 

Water Balloon:  She was cleaning the spit out of her balloon.

 Item 5: The Extra Balloon

Seriously?  Kxxxxx grew up in a house with two older brothers and she has to speak loud and ask questions.  I appreciate her assertive nature and that she is a leader and not a doormat to be stomped on.  I can’t believe that no other child has dared to challenge you if they have seen an injustice being done.  Maybe boys are different but they certainly have inquisitive minds and asked questions on why we did things the way we did. I encouraged my den to challenge me and come up with solutions.  As a leader, you should have to explain yourself if it appears you might be playing favorites.  Even if you aren’t playing favorites, the key is that it appears you are playing favorites.  You should be called out if you are playing favorites and you should offer an explanation of why you are passing out a second balloon.  Heck, I would have totally called you out on passing out a second balloon if I saw you doing that.  Then as a leader, you should explain that you didn’t have enough tooters because some didn’t work and you were replacing them with balloons.  That makes sense to a 2nd grader and they would appreciate the honesty.

 Item 6:  Napkins and Treats

Really?  I never heard you come to Kxxxxx’s defense when other children asked her about her sores she had on her arms.  You were standing right next to me when I told the little girl that asked that question that was impolite to ask someone.  I agree that napkins aren’t a big deal so why are you making a big deal out of it.

 The snacks issue was a bit out of my control.  You know that Kxxxxx and Mxxxxx are dropped off by M’s Mother.  I have discussed with M’s Mother about the snack issue and she won’t allow the children to bring a snack to the meetings anymore. 

In conclusion, we haven’t ever received any negative comments from her teachers, friend’s parents, ballet school instructors, or sports programs coaches about her behavior.  She is often singled out for her helpful behavior and great attitude.  In fact, she just received a Sunshine Award last week.  While our daughter is far from perfect, like many girls her age, it greatly saddens us that you have singled out our daughter to find fault in.  Kxxxxxx feels like you dislike her and I would agree with her assessment of the situation.

 Sincerely,

 Kevin

OK, that was my nice version of the letter I am going to send.  Now here is the version I want to send.  I won’t but I’ll post it on my blog anyway.  Freedom to express my opinion!  God Bless America!

 Date:  January 19, 2011

 To:  Angie and/or Kevin Hellriegel

 Concerning Kxxxxx Hellrigel Thanks for misspelling our last name.

 

Subject:  We have had some issues that T(other leader) and I thought you as her parent should know about.  (Mainly she had issues but she’s dragging in the other leader as well…you might as well throw your friends under the bus as well).

1)  Issue at 1/18th meeting –Kxxxxxx stated that she did not want to do the try it activity, which was the Stitch It Together Try It—I told her we will never make her do something she does not want to but then she does not earn the try it. That’s fair.  She didn’t do the work, she shouldn’t get the badge.   Also there is nothing else planned during this time so if she does not want to participate she should not attend.  WTF?  Did K know that you were doing this activity ahead of time?  Did you send my eight year old daughter an email about it?  Or perhaps it was a psychic message?  As an alterative, you don’t have some paper and pens for kids that finish early?  That is called poor planning.   We are not babysitters.  No shit.  I would never let you watch my child without other adults around.   It takes the two of us to help with the crafts and try its.  We had one additional leader that has moved and no one has offered to take her place. Need help?  Guess who is now going to be your new co-leader…ME!!!  I had specifically asked one parent to help at this meeting because I felt with needles that 4 adults would be best.  K—-(another mother) was there helping with T and I, but the other parent did not attend.  So if Kxxxxx doesn’t want to participate, we will call you to pick her up.  Seriously?  What if one of the scouts finishes up before the others?  Are you going to call their parents to come early because you don’t have anything else for them to do?  We will need a phone number where you can be reached during that time Don’t you have my phone number?  We have been in the troop for three years?.  We do not want other girls affected by her non interest in participating.  Yes, my daughter’s lack of participating in needle work is awful.  She is deathly afraid of needles and is afraid of poking herself.  Maybe if you took the time to ask why she didn’t want to do it then you’d be a better leader.  I don’t think shaming her into participating is part of the Girl Scout way, do you?

 2)  Issue at 1/18th meeting- Indicated that she did not like the Christmas party but she did not even go.  She asked if someone else could host the Christmas party.  I responded yes, but that no one else volunteered .  (seems she has an issue with Nxxxx (another girl)?)

She doesn’t have an issue with her friend N.  Stop trying to be a therapist when you clearly aren’t qualified to offer that opinion.  She was asking if she could host the next party and she was disappointed that she wasn’t able to go to this year’s party.  Again, arguing with an eight year old doesn’t make any sense.

3)  Issues at meeting 1/4th (where we discussed cookies)-

Kxxxxxx did not want to donate any funds raised to charity.  She was one of three girls who did not want to give any funds back to the community.  As Girl Scouts we should do good in our community just like Boy Scouts.  Seriously?  Did the other two girls’ parents get letters about their child’s lack of charity?  (No they didn’t).  K even said that they talked about it and she did agree with donating some of the money after the discussion.  Are you saying that I’m a bad parent because this wasn’t the first answer out of her mouth?

4)  Did not listen to me -3 times –Hell, I don’t want to listen to your nit picky crap at any time.  She wanted to wipe table with really wet sponge in middle of T(other leader)’s talk about cookies. Next time I’ll tell her to use a dry sponge.  Told her no, to please sit back down and listen.  She made a mess and wanted to clean it up because she is responsible.  At our house, if you make the mess you help clean up the mess.  She did it a bit later anyway, leaving the table really wet and it then had to be dried.  It is water from a sponge.  Of course it is going to be wet.  And you didn’t let her dry it up.  Please stop being a martyr.  Put your leader pants on, tell her to use a towel and have her dry it up!

                                       –told her to wait in line for snack for rest of girls to line up for snack buffet style, she started serving herself, had to say wait again.  She was first in line, grab a snack, then heard you say not to start.  Oops.  Send her to jail for being ahead of the game.

                                    —told her no she could not use water because I heard her mention water balloons, a little later she had water in the balloon anyway.  Actually, she was cleaning out the balloon.  Was the balloon filled up and ready to be thrown?  Or was the balloon “wet” from being washed off?

5)  Issue at 1/4th meeting-Kxxxxx asked if she could have an extra balloon.  When I said no, she loudly told me it was unfair because H and N got a second one.  I agree, it is unfair.  Why do they get two and the others only get one?  Isn’t two greater than one?  That is unfair in my book.  I had three reasons, not that a teacher should have to explain reasons YES, you do need to explain yourself.  If someone thinks it is unfair then you should explain why it isn’t unfair.  There is a reason why they have come to that conclusion.  As a good leader, it is your job to educate them why it isn’t unfair. –was out of tooters because some did not work and girls got a second one, so H did not get one of those and she very nicely asked if she could have an extra balloon instead, N’s first balloon did not work right, I did not have enough balloons to give everyone a second one  and balloon time was almost over.  Be honest, explain this to the girls and they will understand.  When I see the reason, it makes sense to me.  I’m pretty sure if you took the time to explain it, then they would understand.

Does not set good example to rest of girls and I will not have my daughter hearing me challenged like that.  Here is the real reason behind the letter.  WTF?  You should be challenged if someone sees you doing an unjust thing like favoritism.  You had a good reason for giving away a second balloon but you failed to use this opportunity to explain why you were giving out the second balloon.  In an eight year old’s eyes, she sees someone getting a second balloon and that is unfair.  You do need to explain yourself.

 6)  At a previous troop meeting, Kxxxxx pointed out how unfair it was that G (Troop leader’s daughter) got a different napkin than the rest of the girls.  It made G feel uncomfortable but she was doing what I had asked her to do.  Oh, but you don’t say anything when a girl points out my daughter’s sores on her arms?  I’m the one that had to point out that was impolite thing to ask.  Where were you then Mrs. Manners Police?  I did not have enough for all so asked her to take the different napkin. I explained that to Kxxxxxxxx.  But no “thank you” that at least everyone had a napkin.  OK, I’m confused.  Why does she need to say “Thank You?”  Was the “Thank You” for the napkin or the lame explanation you gave?  Pretty petty thing to hold against a kid.  The troop leader was slighted so let’s put it on the kid’s record of wrongdoing.  Something they would use and throw away afterwards.  Most parents forget to bring napkins if their snack is messy.  All this bitching and moaning about a napkin you admit isn’t that important?  What a fricking power struggle you have with my daughter!

M and Kxxxxxx often come eating treats.  They do not bring for rest of group. My daughter carpools with the other girl’s mother!  The troop leaders know this because I pick up the girls.  We have done this for the past two years!  This last meeting they had lollipops.  M’s was gone pretty quickly but Kxxxxx had hers well into meeting time.  It has been pointed out that this is unfair.  Life is unfair.  If life was fair I’d be superrich, married to a supermodel, and living on an island paradise instead of reading this crap.  T and I discussed this and agree.  Our girls are there with us from approximately 3:55pm-6pm and they are not getting treats that they do not share.  So please no treats unless they share with all.  We will be telling all parents this.  If someone comes with treats they do not have enough to share, they will be asked to put it in their bag, pocket or throw it away.  This isn’t a bad policy.  Am I going to be asked to throw away my latte because I didn’t bring one for each of the other parents?  Are they going to think it is unfair that I have a latte and they don’t?

 On the positive side (Finally some good news…I guess no one every told her that you can catch more flies with honey that vinegar), once Kxxxxxx heard she would not get the try it if she did not do the work, she did participate and she seemed proud of what she did.  So once she was threatened, then she did the work.  She wants to help clean up which is very appreciated at the right time not in middle of leader talking.  (At that time it is distracting.) OK.  Back to the leader talking part….it is OK to be helpful but under your terms and conditions.  That’s a good lesson to teach our daughters.

 When we send emails concerning Troop events, we would like to receive a response either way if the girl is coming or not.  That way we know the email was received and it allows us to plan the event in a timely way.  Then send me the email and write on there RSVP.  If it doesn’t have RSVP on it, then the email is merely information for me; not an invitation.

 Thank you for helping us offer a positive experience to our troop,

Xxxx & Xxxxx Troop Leaders

(Seriously?  This is a positive experience?)

As you can read, I’m a tad bit upset about this whole thing.  My wife and I both know that this troop leader doesn’t like us or our daughter.  She makes it perfectly clear at every meeting.  We thought we could tolerate it because you have to deal with all kinds of people in life.  I really don’t know what she has against us.  However, if she is going to remain a leader then we think we need to find a better troop for our daughter.  Other people don’t have a problem with our daughter and a lot of the girls’ parents like our daughter.  We have a conflict with this leader and the only two solutions we appear have to have are: quit and join a new troop or ask the leader to step down.

 I’m fine with either one.  I am willing to step up and become a co-leader of my daughter’s troop if needed.  If it’s a fight she wants, then it’s a fight she’ll get.  Bring it on!

Christmas Newsletter 2010 (clean verision)

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Hellriegel’s 2010 Holiday Newsletter (a must read!)

Another year has whipped by and we find ourselves back at the holiday newsletter time of year. In short, we are all alive, healthy, and wiser(?). So if you want to skip the rest of this newsletter, please go ahead, just remember to recycle it (it would make a lovely wrapping paper for my gift)!

The kids are all doing well. We still have three (I haven’t killed anyone….yet). J (20) is living with his dad and working at Toys R Us. At least he has a job in this lousy economic time. My wife and I are still both working so that is great news, right? It was one of my best years in real estate and my school photography business is still solid. It just goes to show that if you actually do a great job, your clients will stay with you!

What about the younger kids that inhabit our home, drain our energy, and think I am awesome? K (8) is in 2nd Grade and is developing my sense of humor! Thank God for that! Rest assured that after I’m dead and gone, she’ll continue to bring that sick and twisted Hellriegel sense of humor to your lives. She complete her first year of soccer (loves it), bridged over from Daisy Scouts to Brownies, continued ballet (now switched to Jazz), and went on a Dad and Me Camp (Girl Scouts) with me (where I was the coolest Dad around-at least I thought so).

H (12) is now in the 6th Grade and in his last year at elementary school. As a pre-teenager, we are seeing the switch in his attitude from child to obnoxious son. He believes 20 minutes of arguing is better than doing the five minutes of work he is arguing against doing. He played indoor soccer and outdoor soccer, is now in Boy Scouts (following his old man & uncle on the path to Eagle Scout), came in 3rd Place in popcorn sales for the troop (thanks to me!), and has long hair (unlike me!). I attended summer camp with H for a week (Camp Piggott) where he earned 5 merit badges (compared to only 3 that I earned my first time at summer camp). You’ll be pleased to know that he too has my sense of humor (much to my wife’s dismay). Perhaps that is why he likes to argue so much?

Vacation Trips: Don’t get too excited; our vacations are usually pretty boring, road trip style because I’m such a frugal person (or cheapskate as my wife likes to say). Our school vacations were also cut short because of the teacher’s strike so we did mini-vacations. We went to Portland, OR over the New Year’s Break and we rode the Portland Streetcar around (because H and I are train geeks) while my wife humored us. Luckily, we are grooming K to be a train geek as well…soon there will be another (insert evil laugh here). We also bumped into one of the four people I know in Oregon right at Powell’s Bookstore. Man, there goes my chance to win the PowerBall Lottery with a random run in with a friend named (get this) “Chance”. Seriously, that is actually true and his actual name.

We did our annual trip to Lincoln Rock for a week in June (out of the rain!). Then we did a freezing cold Oregon Coast trip (in July) with temps of 40-60 degrees. I was blamed for the cold weather (not my fault, it’s an act of God ok?). Overall, Oregon Coast was fun because we had extended family camping trip with campfires and family time. We also managed to make it another time to the warmth of Eastern Washington and a waterslide park. We did a few trips to the Anderson Island cabin. Since I’m the oldest of the children and can blame all the broken things on my brother and sister, we had a raging party with 100 of my closet friends from the tavern (at least that is what my father firmly believes).

Additional Members of the Family: This year we added a rabbit to our family named “Puppy” (that was his name before we got him). I renamed him “Zoltron: Destroyer of Planets”. It sounds more Star Trek-ish and manly (if those two terms can go together). No offense to the folks that speak “Klingon” in their spare time (i.e. no social life). Our dog Shelby turned 10 in February and is greatly loved by the kids (who don’t seem to remember to feed her or pick up her poop unless it is on the bottom of their shoes).

My wife had some good “Girlfriends without Whining Husbands and Demanding Children Trips” with a wine tour to Lake Chelan and a trip to the Oregon Coast. Thank God, I had stocked up on Pop Tarts (a most delicious dinner!), peanut butter, and insane amounts of hot dogs. What else would we eat when she is gone? McDonald’s? With each vacation my wife takes without me, our marriage grows stronger because now I can bank more days into my “Dad Alone Vacations”! I’m up to 16 weeks of vacation now. Hmm, an extended trip to Europe by myself? Maybe a trip to South America? Or a couch surfing trip to NYC (hint, hint Cousin Stephen and his wife Melissa)? Truth be told, I like to use my vacation with my family and hold it over my wife’s head as an evil overlord. This way I can “feel” better about myself (and still keep those vacation days in the bank!).

The end of the year brought us Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Thanksgiving was bittersweet because of the snow and we stayed at home instead of getting away to Anderson Island.
Other News: I continued on in my Aikido class and passed my 5th kyu (I’m “grasshopper” like in the TV series Kung Fu). I also had 11 Cub Scout finish up their Cub Scout careers and me as their Den Leader in February. Then I got sucked into an Assistant Scoutmaster position (hence my week long “vacation” at Boy Scout camp instead of Hawaii). Actually, we are in a good troop and H and I are both having fun.

Between my endless hours of wasting time on Facebook and watching TV (mostly reality shows), I have mostly neglected my family and household duties this past year. However, I did manage to write more on my blog (which I wholeheartedly encourage you to read on a weekly basis). Is it as funny as the newsletter or my various Facebook status updates? Sometimes. Will you get more of my weird sense of humor? Of course!

So important websites to remember:
Kevin’s Blog: https://khellriegel.wordpress.com/
Kevin’s Photography: http://www.hellriegelstudio.com
Kevin’s Real Estate: http://www.KevinRE.com

Feel free to call us or stop by the house anytime you happen to be in Kent!

Warmest Holiday Wishes,

Kevin & Family!

Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes!

~ K ~ Leave a comment

As I was stepping out of the bathroom this morning, I was informed by my wife that our daughter needed a new pair of shoes. These things happen. Children grow, they need new shoes. No big deal.

It wouldn’t be a big deal except she needed new shoes NOW. Really? Right now? It is 8:23 am and they are leaving for school at 8:25 am. She really needs a new pair of shoes in the next two minutes? This really couldn’t wait? What is the emergency?

Apparently, someone left her shoes out on the porch where the rain could reach them. After the tremendous downpour we had this past weekend (and today), her shoes were not just a little damp; they were soaked. I’m thinking to myself: Just have her wear another pair of shoes. What is the big deal, right? She has other pairs of shoes, boots, slippers, whatever. She could have worn her boots except for the fact that she broke those on Saturday night while we were walking in Seattle. And it appears that all of her other shoes are now too small for her never ending and continuously growing feet. What about her snow boots? Yes, snow boots! She just wore those with all the recent snow we had! It snowed only two weeks ago! I don’t have to make a trip to the shoe store! I’m saved!

No dice. The snow boots were a wee bit tight as well. She probably could have gotten frostbite because her feet where stuffed in them and her blood wasn’t circulating correctly. Details, details.

OK, after my less than enthusiastic acceptance of being the parent who has to drag their kid to the shoe store on a Monday morning, my daughter and I head out on the quest for new shoes. Mind you, I hate clothes and shoe shopping. I hate it with a passion. I hate it with every bone in my body. I hate the driving to the store, the walking into the store, the trying on of the clothes, the matching this shirt with those pants, the changing of the outfit into a different outfit, the returning of the first pile of clothes, the bringing back of more clothes to try on…you get my point, right? I hate it. And now I have to go with my daughter on a shopping trip? I can’t stand going with my wife shopping and now I have to go with my daughter? This is the same daughter that argues me with me about which gum she wants to buy and we spend fifteen long (very long minutes…minutes I’ll never get back) minutes looking at gum in which to purchase? It is a pack of gum! It shouldn’t take fifteen minutes to decide!

However, this trip is for a pair of shoes only. No add ons, no additional accessories, no skirts or tops to go with the shoes. Shoes Only! Clear, obtainable goals!

On top of this, we also need to get to school before they send in the lunch orders or I have to bring a lunch from home during my daughter’s lunch period (when I’m suppose to be working). We now have a time deadline on our shoe quest to add more stress to this mess. First, I hate shopping. Second, I now have a time deadline, and third, I haven’t a clue on what size shoe or style of shoe. Lucky, for me (or perhaps unlucky for me), my daughter pretty much knows what she wants. Let’s just pray that she doesn’t want the $95 Nike shoes or the piece of junk “pretty” shoes that won’t last two weeks yet cost more than the pair of Nike shoes.

So what can make this worse? My daughter actually feels terrible about me having to do this. She keeps apologizing about making me miss work. She’s sorry that I have to spend money on her to buy a new pair of shoes. She feels bad that I have to do it when usually Mom likes to do these things. She says she’ll pick the cheapest shoes. OK, now I feel like a real jerk. My poor daughter has all this guilt because of these stupid shoes. I do tell her that it isn’t a big deal, that she needs new shoes anyway, however, I didn’t want to be making a shoe shopping trip during school hours on a Monday morning. I mean, I look like a terrible parent waiting until the last minute to outfit his daughter in a new pair of shoes. I can see people looking at me and thinking: What kind of father waits until his child is headed to school to purchase her shoes? Doesn’t he care?

I need to spin this back onto my daughter. I ask her why she didn’t put her shoes inside. Well, she had dog poop on her shoes. Good reason. However, that is why you wash off the dog poop outside with the hose and then put the shoes by the front door. She knows perfectly well that her shoes need to be right by the front door, under the porch roof. For God’s sake, she’s eight years old already. If she lived in a Third World country she’d be making her 15th pair of shoes by 9:15 already and working for 15 cents an hour, 12 hour days, six days a week. No wonder our country is going downhill.

We get to the local Kent Fred Meyer store and walk into a very clean and well organized shoe department. We find the girl’s shoes area. She likes a pair of purple Nike shoes (on sale) but they are a bit tight. She then tries on a pair of blue New Balance and they feel better. She likes the blue running shoes and they are on sale as well. YES! We head to the cashier, who then tells us that they have another coupon for an additional 15% off. Double YES!

We walk out of there with a new pair of shoes for about $32 and in about 15 minutes time. Not super great but not bad on price and the time spent in the store was acceptable. We make it safely to school. She is a bit late but still manages to get her lunch order in under the deadline. Sweet deal! We part ways on good terms and I’m back off home to get some Photoshop work done. Not a bad morning for an idiot father who hates shopping….now it is time for a nap!

Thanksgiving 2010

~ K ~ Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving!

My blog wouldn’t be complete if there was an old ode to Thanksgiving this year.  Trust me, this isn’t some sappy “I’m thankful for….” blog about how much I’m thankful for this and that.  Really?  Everyone (well, the two people that read this blog plus Cyndi my imaginary stalker) know that I am a very thankful person (and sarcastic).  Like most people with half a heart, I enjoy the fact that I actually like and enjoy my family and friends.  Unlike the Dr. Seuss character “The Grinch”, I like Thanksgiving and Christmas and the holiday cheer these holidays bring.

However, due to the weather, this year’s blog comes from our home in Kent versus our usually location of Anderson Island.  With all the snowy weather conditions we have had over the past two days, we made the decision to stay home this year instead of traveling and hosting Thanksgiving at the family cabin on Anderson Island.

This decision comes with mixed feelings.  We enjoy the trek to Anderson Island and the adventure of having Thanksgiving dinner on Anderson Island.  Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday because it has nothing to do with gift giving and presents.  It is strictly a holiday that you get to see family and friends (that you hopefully enjoy) and enjoy a great meal.  Now, if you don’t enjoy the people you are with during Thanksgiving, then you have to come up with some better excuses for not going to that host’s Thanksgiving dinner.  Maybe take a vacation trip to Kauai instead?  (Heck you can stay at http://www.makanacrest.com)

Why waste your time with people that you don’t enjoy?  You distance yourself from negative friends, why not do the same thing with your relatives?  If you don’t like them, why subject yourself to their company?  Why surround yourself with them?  Thanksgiving is like the 4th of July.  It is a holiday that you don’t have to think about, you just have to enjoy it.  Life is too short to waste with stress about family gatherings and conflict.

So this year, hopefully you made the commitment to enjoy your Thanksgiving!  Now, you just have to get through Black Friday and Cyber Monday!

As always, you are more than welcome to leave your comments.

The documentary “MAXED OUT” – a must see!

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“A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.”
Benjamin Franklin

If you haven’t seen the documentary “Maxed Out”, I highly recommend that you take the time to watch it.  It is about credit, credit card companies, and how American’s love their plastic credit cards.  It is also about how the credit card companies make their money, how universities and colleges around the United States are selling out their students, and how you and I are becoming deeper in debt.

As you know, I always suggest one should take everything with a grain of salt when watching documentaries and mockumentaries, but there is always a lesson to be learned in everything whether you agree with it or not.  You have to have an open mind to actually see what is front of you.  You have common sense, use it!

One could argue that when you have credit you should be responsible with it and spend only what you can afford.  Yet, isn’t it easy to pull out that credit card to pay for a tank of gas?  How about a stop at the grocery store for a gallon of milk, some bread, and something for dinner?  Is your schedule too busy?  Are you too tired to cook?  Let’s go out to dinner.  Hmmm, a little short in the checking account?  Just put it on your credit card.  Everything will be ok…go ahead charge it…pay it off next month.

Do you want to really take control of your spending?  Switch to a debit card (money taken straight out of your checking account) and/or cash basis.  Is your car low on fuel?  Make sure you have enough money in your checking account or cash in your wallet.  All of the sudden, you become vividly aware of how much it really costs to fill up your car.  Want to stop at a fast food restaurant (which is usually unhealthy anyway), make sure you have cash in hand (or your pocketbook).  When you spend actually cash, you quickly become aware of your expenses.

Do you remember the days when you couldn’t use your credit card at McDonald’s or buy groceries with it at Safeway?

Some expenses you can’t get around.  Your children need shoes, you need to buy food, you need that latest Wii game.  Wait.  Do you really need to purchase the latest Wii game?  Maybe you could borrow from a friend…rent it at Redbox?  Recently, my wife rented a Wii game at Redbox.  She was glad she did because she hated it.  A Redbox rental of $2.50 versus a purchase price of $39.99 appeals to me and my pocketbook.

Personal responsibility is important in your finances.  “Maxed Out” touches on it but it really points out the predatory behavior of the credit card companies with low income borrowers.  Let’s not kid ourselves.  Credit card companies do prey on the low income and middle class.  Credit cards are issued to people in which the credit card companies know are a high credit risk.  High Credit Risk = higher interest rate they can charge and higher the late fees they can charge.

I’m no way a financial guru.  However, I do know that credit card debt and consumer debt is growing rapidly in this depression era.  This is a known fact.  Unemployment has been estimated at 17%.  This figure includes the official unemployment rate, discouraged workers (the people that have given up looking for full time employment), and people that have taken part time jobs to make one full time job.

Now is the time to get yourself and your family back on track.  I leave you with a quote that helps to keep us all on track for improving ourselves and our lives.

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”
Benjamin Franklin

A Birthday Celebration!

~ K ~ 2 Comments

Another year and another birthday!

Now most of you would be thinking that I’d be writing about my own birthday, however, I’m writing about my younger brother Chris’ birthday celebration we had in Burien, Washington.  As most of us agree, time does fly by.  With each passing birthday, it is hard to imagine where the time as gone over the years. The changes in our personal lives continue to amaze me.

Reflecting back on today’s birthday celebration, it was nice to be all together and enjoy each other’s company.  Thanksgiving is only a few days so perhaps that is why I am becoming more aware of the passage of time.  We all get so wrapped up with just living from day to day, hour to hour.  It is extremely hard to get together with everyone’s busy schedule so events like my brother’s birthday mean a lot to me.

Overall, it was a good time had by all.  I was able to see my grandmother, uncle, aunts, cousins, and just relax and enjoy myself.  This morning, my children and I created handmade birthday cards embedded with my own unique sense of humor.  We called them “inappropriate birthday cards”.  My card featured a tale of sadness, death, and despair that it was my brother’s birthday.  My son had people getting killed by street gangs and people being mauled by animals.  My daughter decided to change my brother’s name to “Bob” and warned him to watch out for ninja kittens this evening.  Yes, definitely a bit of humor inserted into your family event makes the party much more exciting.

 The food was delicious, the three cakes were wonderful, and the family being together was a great way to finish the weekend.

I am wrong.

~ K ~ 1 Comment

I was wrong, I am wrong, and I’ll be wrong in the future. I have made mistakes and I’ll continue to make mistakes. I’m not perfect. And I’m sorry that I have made mistakes that have hurt people and the mistakes I’ll make in the future that will hurt people.

One of my greatest regrets is my failed relationship with my stepson that has lead to his current path of destruction. I’m not perfect and I made mistakes in how I raised him. However, I do remember that I had a very tough relationship with my father when I was a teenager. My brother also had a tough relationship with our father when he was a teenager. Mind you, my father and I never came to physical blows and I never had any physical confrontations with my stepson either. It was a verbal disagreements and heated discussions between my father and me. I think my stepson just doesn’t believe that I do love him; I just don’t love the choices he is making.

Am I to blame for all the problems my stepson has? Did I cause him to do poorly in school? Over the years, I went to a lot of parent teacher conferences, paid for math tutoring, sent him to summer school, and encouraged him to switch schools to complete his schooling. We went to Cub Scout camp together and canoed on Cooper Lake. We had some really times over the years.

One of my favorite moments I have of him is when after three years of his basketball team loses every game, they won! You would have thought they won the NBA Championship! It was a wonderful game to watch.

Was I to blame for him blowing off work? Did I not set a good example as an owner of a small business? Where did he think our home came from? How did he think we paid for his bedroom? He never had to share a room with his little brother or sister while he was growing up. He had his own bathroom and didn’t have to share it.

How did we pay for our family trips to Disneyland and Hawaii? Did we do it by skipping school, sleeping in, and not having a job?

So now I really have to dig deeper to find the answers. How did he come to hate me so much? Am I really that bad of a parent? Should I have put my foot down harder? All I asked was to pass high school and have a job (any job). When that didn’t happen, I wasn’t the one who kicked him out of our house. I must admit, I didn’t lobby for him to stay either. Seriously, one has to make an effort to do something…complete school, find a job, etc.

Tough love is hard. I can still love him but I refuse to accept his bad behavior. Things will improve and he will turn his life around. I have the belief that he will become a better person.

Everyone’s Favorite Slacker Update

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Yes, it’s a KOTS update!

You’ll be pleased to know that KOTS is currently living with his Dad and still not looking for a job.  Well, he is still pretending to look for a job.  At least, my dear wife can stop stressing out on whether her son will be “homeless”.  As I predicted earlier, KOTS would never be “homeless” because of his loving family.  In all seriousness, this is not a sarcastic statement.  My wife had the misguided notion that KOTS would be living on the streets; I knew that would never happy at this stage of his life (he’s only 19 not 50!).

Really?  Why would I let him live on the streets?  We have a nice warm garage he could crash in.  Heaven forbid, I give up my hobby room (aka his old bedroom) so he could move back in, not pay rent, not look for a job, not clean his room or clothes, and not contribute to the family in anyway?  Is that selfish on my part?  Or am I being selfless by protecting the rest of the family?  Am I not the last guard that stands before the army of defeat?  Besides, we have a wonderful roomy two car garage he can live in.  If he lived in the garage, I could just pop open the garage door and air it out when it got too smelly.  Heck, I could just drag the garden hose in there, turn on the water, and wash everything out to the driveway.

Now if the garage idea doesn’t float by my wife and you other “caring, sensitive” individuals (out there in Internet Never Never Land), as a good idea, I propose we pitch a tent in the backyard.  It is June and the weather is getting quite pleasant.  I remember for two summers as a kid, I loved to sleep in the tent in our backyard in Bellevue.  It was awesome!  Why should I deny KOTS that same priceless experience?  Think of the wonderful memories he would have….waking up with the sun at the crack of dawn, the birds chirping, the soft summer breeze gently flapping the fabric of the tent.  A young man’s adventure in the wilds of suburbia; who wouldn’t want that tale to tell later in life?

Oh, how easy it is for you to judge me and strap the label of Mr. Insensative on me!  I don’t see any of you calling us or emailing us an offering KOTS a place to live.  Where are the calls and the announcement you’d love to have KOTS living with you?  Hmmm?  Why am I merely standing pat in my defense of the homeland with my desire to help KOTS grow up; to let him experience life at a point where he can still correct the course of his life before it is too late!  Yes, this forces him to learn and grow!  Am I a bad parent for wanting the best for him?  For him to grow?  Am I not the better parent than the parent that enables their children to live in the basement for years…to allow them to stagnant in their learning and life experiences?  I argue that I am the better parent for I help to push my child on a course correcting self reflection period.

However, KOTS is not learning that he must push himself to grow.  Instead he has moved in with his father, sleeps in, makes a meager effort to look for a job, and has fallen into the trap of being lost.  He’ll still sponge money off his dad and make no effort to help around the house.  Yet, I can safely say…it’s not my house!

Got too much debt? Try these sarcastic debt relief tips!

~ K ~ 1 Comment

Man, talk about a downer topic for my sarcastic sense of humor.  However, I know I have to help others out there with humor and wit.

Debt Relief Tips:

Stop spending money!  Seriously, do you really need to have that latte?  Try drip coffee out of the coffee pot in your kitchen.  Better yet, stop by  and drink his coffee and eat his donuts.

Speaking of breakfast: skip it!  Or see the example above for a free breakfast.

Ditch one of your many phone lines.  Do you need a cell phone and a home phone?  No one calls you anyway…maybe you should get rid of both.

Stop buying new clothes every week!  Seriously, if you are a married women, your husband could care less about what you are wearing.  He married you and he’s stuck with you.  You aren’t impressing him anymore.  Are you dressing up for that special guy at work?  Stop it!  You’re not a whore!

Haircuts, getting a haircut or a new hairstyle every 6-7 weeks instead of 3-4 weeks.  Again, your husband or boyfriend doesn’t even notice when you get it cut or get a new hairstyle, so why bother anyway?  Put it in a ponytail and call it good.

For guys, you know you are a moron anyway since you are spending $30 (plus tip) for a haircut every month.  I’m bald and I’m happy because I’m not wasting $360 a year on haircuts.  Who’s laughing now about being bald?

Don’t buy any new furniture just because your spouse wants to.  The kids are going to ruin it anyway by spilling soda pop and chips on your couch.  And in 12 months your wife will complain that your furniture is now “outdated”.  See, if you follow my advice you won’t be wasting money on a new furniture now or in another 12 months.

Switch to a one car family: Heck, if your wife can’t drive to the store she can’t spend money!

Internet: Switch back to dial up.  Again, if your wife and kids can’t surf the web fast, they’ll stop using the computer.  This helps to keep your wife from shopping online and stops kids from looking at porn!  Besides you have high speed internet at work: use it!

Those are your debt relief tips for today!