Girl Scout Troop Update: Where Only the Bad Survive!

I know you are all dying to hear how our Girl Scout Troop is doing.  We have nine Girl Scouts in our troop with active and supportive parents.  I’m very lucky to have the support of the parents because I couldn’t do it alone.  I have enough trouble dealing with my own children much less nine Girl Scouts in the age range of 9-11 years old.

None of them are “bad”.  Sometimes, you have to have a witty sarcastic title to hook your blog readers in….

This is the big Girl Scout Cookie time of the year.  We are on track to sell about 1000 boxes of cookies this season.  My Cookie Manager Kristen told me we sold about 800 in the presale and now have about 200-300 more to sell.  This is what our Girl Scout Troop has committed to.  What we don’t sell, we have to buy.  At $4 a box, we want to make sure we sell every last box of cookies.  If you need some Girl Scout Cookies, keep us in mind!

Over the next few weekends, we’ll be selling Girl Scout Cookies outside of your local supermarket or drug store.  Our Scouts are still young and cute so they can sell the cookies fairly easy.  I was talking with another mom from an older troop (her daughter is in 8th Grade) and she said it was harder.  On the other hand, she did have a few boys at her middle school excited she was selling cookies and wanted to buy some.

Other events we are looking at: Indoor Rock Climbing at Stone Gardens in Bellevue and attending a Seattle Storm (Women’s Professional Basketball)

Going for the top!
Going for the top!

at the Key Arena in September.  We are extremely excited about both events.  Last year, the Girl Scouts had an awesome time with the indoor rock climbing at the gym.  Stone Gardens had two of their staff helping and encouraging the girls the whole time.  They showed the Scouts how to put on the equipment, how to climb, and how to descend correctly.  Very easy going and safety focused.  They offer a non-profit rate as well so it was fairly affordable.  If your Girl Scout Troop is the adventurous type, this is definitely an activity to consider.

The other event we did last year with our City of Kent Parks & Recreation Department basketball team (most of our Girl Scouts played on) was the Seattle Storm game in September.  I have an awesome Dad (Joel) who is great at organizing these outings.  He set up last year’s event and is doing it again this year.  Thanks Joel!

Last year, we had enough tickets sold to do the Fan Tunnel at the beginning of the game.  Our Girl Scouts and Girls Basketball Team, along with their parents and siblings, created a Fan Tunnel for the Storm players to run through and out onto the court.  A very good experience for everyone involved.  Again, I’d highly recommend getting some firm commitments from your troop members and booking a block of tickets to the Seattle Storm.  This year we plan to have 50 tickets and have 38 tickets sold.  So if you are free on Saturday September 7, this is a good chance to see some professional basketball in Seattle for only $20 a ticket.

If you do want to go, here is the Group Sale Rep’s information:

Eric Melch | Account Executive, Group Sales

Seattle Storm | P 206.272.2704 | y

3421 Thorndyke Avenue West, Seattle, WA 98119

That’s our update for now.  I know it isn’t as sarcastic as you want it to be. But, hey, it’s Girl Scouts and they don’t teach that!

If the little Girl Scouts can do it, I better get up there too!
If the little Girl Scouts can do it, I better get up there too!

Volunteering: Only for the Brave and Stupid!

I recently found out one of my best friends didn’t listen to my advice and has decided to “step up to the plate” and become the Cubmaster for his son’s Cub Scout Pack.

Hey, I’m known for being sarcastic but it when it comes to volunteering, I’m all in.  I like being involved in a worthwhile activity.  I like being with my daughter at her Girl Scout Troop and I like being with my son at his Boy Scout Troop.

I admire my friend’s decision to become the Cubmaster.  He’ll do a great job.

But then you also have to be Brave and (a little) Stupid to take on leadership job.  I’m all for volunteering but that is way too much responsibility for me.  I prefer to help out in a support role where I can be the muscle, but not the one in charge.  If you are the one in charge, you get blamed for everything that goes wrong.  Who needs that?

(Disclaimer:  I was the Den Leader for my son’s Cub Scout Den and now I’m an Assistant Scoutmaster in his Boy Scout Troop.  And I’m also the Girl Scout Troop Leader for my daughter’s Girl Scout Troop.  So I speak from experience on being Brave and Stupid when it comes to volunteering!)

How many times have you gone to a volunteer function and heard some attendee complain how much it sucked?  This could be an auction event for parents or a kid’s day camp for Girl Scouts.  These critics complain about everything: the volunteer staff, the weather, the setting, the accommodations, the kids.

They complain that the kids didn’t have fun at day camp or the staff wasn’t trained enough.  Um, excuse me, they are volunteers.  They do this job because they believe in the cause; not because they get an awesome paycheck!

If you don’t like what is going on, they do something about it.  Stop the complaining, volunteer, and help out!

I do agree that some volunteers are worse than others.  If they are goofing around and not teaching the subject (as it is with some teenagers), then I can see how the event sucks.  If the volunteer isn’t into the job, of course they aren’t going to do a good job.

Nowadays, it is hard to get people to volunteer to help.  With both parents working or a lack of childcare for the other kids in the family, it is hard to be able to volunteer.  No one seems to have the free time to help.  Some people are nervous to volunteer, thinking that they won’t be able to help in any matter.

I admire my friend for taking on the Cubmaster job; it isn’t an easy job.  He’ll have to plan meetings, deal with whacko parents, solve disputes, handle numerous meltdowns (by parents and kids), and still have a great attitude.  He’ll do all of this on top of his full time job.

So hats off to all volunteers, but a big “Thank You” to all the volunteers that hold a leadership role.  I wish you all the best in this unpaid position of parent complaints and whiny kids.

The 10 Best Bad Parenting Tips!

It is so easy to dispense great parenting advice when you are an awesome parent like me.  However, it is a harder to teach others how to be bad parents.  Frankly, most people don’t listen to my great advice.  Keep in mind: parenting is a lifetime commitment that haunts you for the rest of your life.  Unless your kids turn out to be awesome and without any character flaws, you will most likely have them in your life forever.

That means that with some bad parenting, you can enjoy the journey of parenting  It’s not the destination; it’s the journey that is so darn fun!

10. Don’t Follow Through on Anything!

You don’t want your kids to think you (or anyone else) are reliable.  Empty promises are a surefire way to make your kids understand that the world is an unreliable place.  This gives them a head’s up that when the cable company says that they will be there in morning; that really means you’ll be lucky if they show up by 8 pm that evening.  Sure, take a whole day off from work and enjoy a wasted day waiting for your imaginary cable guy.  At least you can catch up on your Dr. Phil episodes.

9. Don’t Set Limits

Limits are for parents that want to shelter their kids from the pains of failure.  Your kids should be allowed to know that if they screw up; well it isn’t your fault.  How are they going to learn if you limit their creativity?  And if you set limits you might have to enforce these limits.  Jeez, that just makes more work for you.  You are a busy parent; you don’t need extra work on top of your yoga and latte schedule; that is just ridiculous.

8. Don’t be Flexible on Anything!

Sometimes you have to be flexible to be a good parent…nah, I’m kidding.  Never budge on anything.  If you give in on anything or if you are flexible on anything…well, you might as well give up your kids to foster care.  If plans change; too bad! So what if your kid is getting an Outstanding Student of the Quarter Award.  If it is during your favorite TV show; be firm on your schedule and don’t go.  It’s not like you’ll be able to see that show later!

7. Don’t Give in to Being a Good Parent

You’ll get a lot of pressure from your family and friends to be a good parent.  They’ll offer advice (most of it worthless advice) about how you need to “step up your game as a parent”.  Sure, their kids are doctors, lawyers, and other productive members of society…but what does that really prove?  If you are a father, you are even more important to a child’s life.  However, that isn’t going to stop you from hanging out at the football field reliving the glory years and drinking beer behind the bleachers.

6. Make Sure Your Kids Know Who is Boss!

Kids these days run all over their parents.  They are bossy and disrespectful.  You should tell them right off the bat that you are “The Boss”.  As soon as your wife/girlfriend is pregnant you should be telling your unborn child that you are the boss.  Whisper to them that they need to change their diapers at three months old you won’t be taking care of them forever.  You aren’t raising slackers!

5. Use Fear and Intimidation

If it works for 3rd World Dictators; it will work for you too!  If that kid of yours didn’t bother listen to you in the womb, now is the time to introduce fear and intimidate to their plate of feelings.  Allow them to taste how it will be like later in life when they meet the neighborhood bully.  You yelling and scaring him prepares him for what it will be like at school when the really bullies push him down and take his lunch money.

4. Never Be a Friend to Your Kid

If you are a friend to your kid, you make him a loser.  How is he going to make any friends if his parents are nice to him?  Instead, make sure to be mean and cruel.  This will allow him to have something in common with his peers.  He needs a good bonding point.  Nothing makes kids bond together faster than when they can whine about how “unfair” their parents are.  Usually this bonding occurs as they update their Facebook status on the Smartphone their parents gave them.

3. Always Comparing and Criticize

You know what made America great?  It is our ability to whine and complain about how our siblings were treated better than us.  If you don’t compare and criticize your kids, how are you going to make them competitive players in today’s business world?  Are they going to know that only the favorite child is going to win?  Sure, some of the experts out there want you to think that criticizing and public shaming leads to depression and low self esteem.  But we know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

2. Don’t Do Anything for your Kids

Do you want your kids to be crybabies?  Are you going to wipe their noses in high school?  Are you going to do their federal income taxes when they are 29 years old?  You think I might be a bit extreme.  But if you help them tie their shoes, you might as well do their do their taxes.  Oh, could you let them live in your basement until they are 40 years old too?  Thanks!  Seriously, let them learn early that having a home cooked meal by your Mom is so phony.  Point to the cupboard and the fridge and say: Have at It!

1. Don’t Pay Attention to Them

Let your nanny or daycare provider shower your kids with love; that is what you pay them for.  Really, have you seen the rates they charge?  They should be paying you for allowing them the opportunity to care for your child and experience the miracle of childcare.  If you pay attention to your kids you are making them think that they will always deserve your attention.  Well, they don’t.  If you pay attention to them, they will think everyone will pay attention to them.  That’s just plain crazy talk.  You want your kids to feel like no one cares; that everyone is just mean and cruel, just like you!

By now, you should have learned that being a parent is hard to do.  Stop trying so hard.  You can’t make water run uphill and you can’t be a good parent overnight.  So don’t even try.  If you have some worthless advice or comments you’d like to share, please leave them below.  They can’t be any worse than my worthless parenting advice.

That was Stupid!

That was Stupid!

Everyone once in a while I do something stupid.  I know that is hard to believe, but I do.  I’m pretty sure I should purchase this great button:

But with this button, comes great responsibility.  You can’t just push this button any old time; you need to do something really stupid.

And if you do find yourself pushing it a lot….uh, it might be time to evaluate yourself and your behavior.

Why Reality Stars Suck!

You know what really sucks?  Reality Stars that are rude, brash, mean, and spiteful.  Yet, because of this bad behavior they are famous.  I really think it sucks that they make money from it.  Most are untalented, mean, and hateful people. Yet, they appear on talk shows, expanding their “brand”, offering advice to the general public, and launching products in which people buy and further their talentless careers.

I can only hope that that their star flames out, they have bad business advisers and corrupt accountants, and they end up broke and penniless.

I’m known for being sarcastic and blunt but I still enjoy most people.  If someone is nice and not phony, I usually like them.  If they are sarcastic I’ll probably enjoy them more.  I just don’t think you should be mean and cruel to the others on purpose.  Why be mean to someone just for the fun of it?  Is that helping society?

Yes, people are stupid, they annoy me with the dumb things they do but I still like them.  People in general give me vast amounts of material in which to comment and write about.  I should be thanking them for being so stupid!

People don’t think about their personal behavior enough these days.  I’m not going to be rude, I’m not going to treat you bad (no matter how stupid you might be), and I’m not going to be mean to you.

If you are working hard and putting your best foot forward, I’ll support you.

However, I will be honest with you if you are doing something that is stupid or you are going to regret later in life.  I will probably do it in a sarcastic way but that is who I am.  I’m not going to support your bad lifestyle or destructive habits.  I’ll call you out on something that is not true or if you being dangerous.

I want you to think about what you are doing and why you are doing it.  You need to develop your critical thinking skills.  I want you to believe in yourself and do your best.  If it is a doable project, go for it.

Think how great you feel when your project turns out succesful!  And think how you feel when it crashes and burns.  Did you take a chance?  What went wrong?  Why didn’t it work?

As both a Girl Scout Leader and a Boy Scout Leader, I often deal with kids.  I cut down on my sarcastic comments a lot.  These kids are not adults; they don’t know better.  You have to teach them and guide them.  We want these youth programs to be a “safe place to fail”.

Thanks again for reading!

Good Luck on your adventures today!  Put your best foot forward and enjoy your life.  I’m off to torture my readers and children with my sarcastic wit and humor.

Psst! I know what is wrong with kids these days….TV viewing is down!

Why America Sucks: The Average Hours per week of TV viewing is down!

It is with great sorrow I must report that today’s children are not watching enough television.  According to this news report out of Minnesota, the Nielsen ratings reported that kids between the age of 2 and 11 watched an average of 24 hours per week.  Shockingly, that is down from 28 hours in the mid-1970s.

No wonder our country is going to hell in a hand basket!  Our kids are watching four hours of less television per week that my generation.  That is just plain awful.  This is trend that must be reverse for the sake of all America!

The good news that is that television can still screw up your kids!  They just need to focus on what kind of television they watch.

The more violent the better!  A recent study says that the type of television (the quality of television) also affects the child’s development.  To no one’s big surprise, the preschool age children who switched from violent television to more educational shows were less aggressive and more kind than the control group.  In the study, the control group didn’t change their television viewing habits.  The study also reported that the control group and the healthy TV group reported watching slightly more TV after the year-long monitoring project.

But don’t despair about TV viewing going down, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation’s (2010) report stated that kids spend an average of 75 hours of media viewing per week.

They broke it down into the following:

The average kid sponges in 2.5 hours of music each day, almost five hours of TV and movies, three hours of Internet and video games, and just 38 minutes of old-fashioned reading.  Sadly, that figure didn’t include the hour and a half spent text messaging each day, and the half hour kids talk on the cell phone.

So if your kid isn’t watching good old fashion TV, then they are on the computer or Smartphone racking up those media hours!  Good for them!   Don’t let us down!

Sorry, this blog post is so short….my daughter needed to rot her brain by playing an online game for 8 hours.  I don’t want her to be below average so she is allowed to play her online game for at least six hours. Then I kick her off to watch TV.  It is all about balance here in my house.

Remember: There are no below average kids in my house!

That’s my worthless advice for today!  As always, your comments on my great parenting tips are always welcome!

8 Things You Should Do to Make Your Kids More Self-Reliant at School

I like to teach my kids one positive thing each day of their miserable little lives.  Going to school is an excellent way to show them how to overcome adversity; the adversity that I help make for them!  Sure, you could home school your kids (and I admire anyone who takes that challenge on…but really I can barely take care of myself and you want me to teach my kids something?  Isn’t that what the TV and the Internet is for?) but then you’d miss out on using these 8 Great Parenting Tips.

I created this helpful list that will make sure your kids learn something at school besides “book smarts”.  These eight great parenting tips will make them learn “street smarts” as well teach them some common sense.  Actually, we live in the suburbs so they might not learn “street smarts” but I would argue it will make them more self-reliant (totally awesome skill to have…especially when their father clearly doesn’t care about them).

  1. Forget to give them Lunch Money (or put money in their lunch account).  Have you ever forgotten your lunch at home or forgot money to buy a lunch? Why not give that same experience to your kids?  Remember how you had to beg others for spare change or maybe get an apple from them so you wouldn’t starve?  Once you “forget” the lunch money, your kids will learn how to negotiate with their friends to get something to eat.  Trade a favorite pen for three raisins?  Great deal!  Is your kid shy?  Hungry is a great way to motivate your child to overcome their shyness, learn to talk to others, and get something to eat!
  1. Forget to Turn in their Field Trip Permission Slip.  I always remembered the poor kid that had to stay behind in the main office while the rest of the class went on an awesome field trip.  Even if the place we were visiting sucked big time (like the sewer plant), we’d still come back and tell that loser kid that it was the best field trip we had EVER been on.  It was great.  We could say things like “Remember that time on the field trip when…Oh, yeah.  You didn’t go on it.  I bet you still had fun back at school, sitting in the main office, doing worksheets, having a school lunch with the secretaries.” Loser.
  1. Forget to pick them up after school.  Kids are always running late and taking forever to do things (like put their shoes on….even after you told them ten times you were leaving in five minutes).  They are always making you late or holding you up.  This is the time to return the favor.  I usually wait until it is pouring down rain and then “forget” to pick them up.  Nothing like spending 15 minutes in a cold downpour to teach them about being prompt and on time.  Which leads us into:
  1. Have them underdress/overdress for school activities (or the weather).  Don’t you hate it when you leave the house, it is nice and sunny outside, then it turns miserable and you are underdressed?  Or you forget your raincoat and it is pouring down rain?  You should always send your kid out in the wrong outfit.  Is it cold out?  Have them wear flip flops and shorts.  Is it blazing hot?  Make them wear a wool sweater and long pants.  Pretty soon they’ll learn to pay attention to the weather forecast and figure out what to wear.
  1. Miss their School Parent-Teacher Conference.  By now, you know if your kid is smart or as dumb as a box of rocks.  They need to learn that you are way too busy to waste time talking with their teacher about how good (or bad) they are doing.  That is what the phone or email is for.  Why do you really need a face to face conference with a teacher who your kid is only going to see for 9 months?
  1. Don’t send them with School Supplies.  Again, if they learned anything from my suggestion #1, they should be able to get by without you wasting any more money on school supplies.  Teachers know that at least one kid isn’t going to be bringing school supplies; that is why teachers ask for so much.  Your kid should know how to beg or borrow or trade for their school supplies.  This builds negotiation skills they’ll when they need to buy a car later in life.
  1. Forget School Photo Day.  One of my personal favorites (since I am a school photographer).  Nothing like being in the school yearbook looking like a clown because your parents didn’t brush your hair and you worn that dirty T-Shirt.  Your kids will love to be used as an example by other parents when their little brat argues with them about what they are wearing on School Photo Day.  They can flip open the yearbook, point to your kid’s photo and say “See?  Do you want to be like this kid?  He looks like he fell out of a garbage can!  I bet he smells like it too.”
  1. Don’t save/pay for their College Education.  Do you want your kids to feel entitled?  This is what happens when you save up for college.  Worst yet, you pay for college without saving for it.  This is probably the worst gift you can give your kids.  They are going to off to college without a care in the world, they are going to party up, and they won’t be paying for it.  Is that preparing them for the future?  Are they going to study harder when they are paying the college tuition bill or when you are paying for it?  Are they going to care more or less about getting good grades when they are paying that huge tuition bill or when you are doing it?  Teach them something about the responsibility by making them pay for college themselves.

Don’t hold back on making sure your kids learn how to be self-reliant in life.  Review these eight simple parenting tips and commit them to memory.  Make sure you are being the best parent you can be by reading my blog for future great parenting tips.

What do you think about 8 Things You Should Do to Make Your Kids More Self-Reliant at SchoolFeel free to leave your sarcastic comments.  You know you want to…

Gravatar Portraits: How Sexy is too Sexy?

I think I need a sexier Gravatar portrait on my blog.  The one I have is way too boring for all the witty comments I make.

Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with your Gravatar photo, it is usually the photo that appears when you make a comment on a blog.  It’s not like I’m a blogger expert, so this advice might fall into the “I’m right 97.9% of the time” category.

Visualize this: Me in a minivan with my bald head shining brightly, wearing some really cool looking shades, and the summertime Aloha Shirt.

Sounds pretty awesome, huh?

That would be the typical middle aged father you never wanted to become but because time marches on, you have become.  Unless you are a woman.  Then that picture became a whole lot stranger.

A couple of problems I have with my upcoming portrait that need to be addressed.


We don’t have a minivan. Sure, I could borrow one.  I’m hoping someone I know has a real weird color.  Maybe a pink or bright red one…with a racing stripe on it.  Now, that would be cool.  And flames on the side with custom rims and low profile tires.

Bald Head:

This I don’t have a problem.  I really haven’t had hair on the top of my head since 1996.  However the shiny part will be hard.  I live in Seattle and we don’t get the sun shining out much expect for ten days in August.

Cool Looking Shades:

Again, in Seattle we don’t have a lot of sun so finding sunglasses might be hard.  However, I do have some really neat looking safety glasses that might work.  Of course, I don’t want to look like MMA fighter either.

Aloha Shirt:

I’m from Hawaii so this isn’t a problem.  My real problem is which one to wear; that will be the hard part to decide upon.  Do I go with the casual business style Aloha shirt or the obnoxious tourist style shirt from Hilo Hatties?  The casual business style is more professional and won’t make me look like a dork on vacation.  But clearly the obnoxious Aloha shirt will scream out to others that I am a fun loving blogger.  Yet will the obnoxious Aloha shirt makes my witty comments less effective because I look like a clown?  Then there is the whole issue of how many buttons do you undo on the shirt.  Do you go with all but the top button buttoned up?  Do you go with a few buttons unbutton?  Or do you really “man it up” and leave all the buttons undone, letting your massive muscular chiseled chest with rock hard abs glisten in the sun?  This Aloha shirt issue is pretty complicated.

So you see my new Gravatar photo is something I really need to think about.  The planning process itself might take weeks, perhaps even months.  In the meantime, I’ll leave you will this new Photoshopped photo of me.

7453 Kevin Yellow

As always, your witty and sarcastic comments are welcome.  I still am waiting to hear from you.

Really, you have time to leave a comment….just go to the bottom of this post and add something…make me feel like I have a reader besides my Mom and my imaginary stalker Cyndi!

Teaching Kids about Disappointment and Adversity: What Valentine’s Day is All About!

Argh, it’s another one of those “holidays” where parents, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. are suppose to buy “gifts” for each other to prove their love to one another.  I view this as an opportunity to teach your kids (and your significant other) about Disappointment and Adversity.

You should know by now that if I talk to you or live with you, that you are pretty special.  This extends to my friends as well.  I’m pretty picky on who I hang out or interact with.  If you are reading this, you are even more special than others.

One of the ways you can teach your kids about Disappointment and Adversity is to NOT give them gifts or cards on Valentine’s Day.

What?  But…but…where’s the love?

You want love?  You want gifts?  Here are the gifts of love you should be giving them: Disappointment and Adversity.

They shouldn’t expect this day to be any more special than any other day.  It isn’t Christmas or their birthday; they shouldn’t get presents.  And according to my friend Mike, if you bought a Valentine’s Day card for your wife (or husband), you spent too much on her (or him).  His wife and he have mutually agreed not to exchange gifts or cards on these kinds of “fake” holidays.  I admire that.  They both get a gold star.

If you shower your kids or significant other with gifts now, you have already set unrealistic standards for them later in life.  You have created the opportunity for them to be disappointed later in life, yet not given them the experience of adversity to overcome their disappointment.

For example: What if you are in a different country and are gone for Valentine’s Day?  If you give your children gifts all the time for every Valentine’s Day, you have already set a standard you must constantly live up to.  Your kids will still expect a gift even when you are gone.  You just gave yourself more work to do.  You have to plan something and that takes work and effort on your part.  And will those kids remember your gift in a week?  Will your husband remember that gift in 24 hours?

No, they won’t.

All of your hard work, planning, and effort for nothing.  Your hard work wasted away in the hands of time.  What did you learn from this experience?

What if you don’t do anything?  You just taught a valuable lesson to our children about Disappointment.  After they cried their eyes out and say their mommy and daddy doesn’t love or care about them, they will be stronger.  Nothing makes your kid tougher than tears streaming down their dirty face, a little disappointment entered into their thought process.  They will learn a great lesson on how to overcome adversity.  How will they learn from this experience?  How will it make them stronger?  How will it toughen them up?

Let’s fast forward to your kid in a relationship with someone they care about.  This person forgets about Valentine’s Day.  Because you were such a “good” parent all these years, your kid (now an adult) goes ballistic because their significant other screwed up Valentine’s Day.  But really…whose fault is it?  As a parent, it is your fault because you chickened out and didn’t introduce Disappointment and Adversity at a young age.  For Pete’s sake, everyone knows that ALL problems stem from “daddy” or “mommy” issues we have as children.  Ask any stripper; they’ll tell you.

Life is all about Disappointment and how to overcome it.  A lesson in Disappointment will also teach your children about Adversity.  Your children will cry but this experience will make them stronger, they will overcome the adversity that they are now experiencing.  This lesson would be better taught to your children at a younger age.  Better to learn a valuable lesson at a younger age than later in life (when it will turn you bitter and just make you a miserable person).

As always, your sarcastic and bitter comments are welcome.  Heck, all of your comments are welcome.

Please Stop Being Good Parents and Teach Your Kid Something!

Note to Future and Current Parents: You aren’t doing your kids any favors by cooking them dinner, doing their laundry, and cleaning their bedrooms.  Do you know what you are doing by taking care of them?  You are making them burdens on society.  You are making them dependent on you (and society) for the rest of their lives.  You’ll make them want to live with you forever if you provide them a nice room, food in their bellies, gas in their fuel tank, and a Smartphone in their hand.  Stop being a good parent.

I didn’t realize that parents took care of their kids so much these days until I was on another Boy Scout camp out this past weekend.  As I’m supervising the youngest scouts (in the age group of 11-12 years old), it dawned on me that they don’t know how to cook a meal or clean up after themselves.  They keep thinking that “somebody else” is going to do it for them.  That somebody is their mommy or daddy.  It definitely isn’t me (the grumpy old Assistant Scoutmaster).

Sure, in Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, the scouts are supposed to learn from other older scouts (or adults) how to survive on a campout.  However, like any preteen or teenager (whether it is a boy or girl) they get distracted by…anything.  An older scout might have taught them what to do six minutes ago or six months ago and they don’t remember that information now when they really need it.  They don’t remember that you cook your meat on medium heat, not high heat.  They don’t remember that cooking takes time and you have to pay attention to the meal on the stove lest it be burned to a pile of charcoal.  They don’t remember that in summer camp someone showed them that to clean a pot you need to use soap, water, and some good old fashion elbow grease.  They don’t know that hot water is their friend in the cleaning process.

What can you as parents can you do to help your child?  Stop doing everything for them.

But wait, you say…that’s my baby we are talking about!  Should I just throw a tent in the backyard and let my ten year old live with the dog?  Of course not, start with baby steps.  One simple thing they can learn this afternoon is “How to use the laundry washer and the dryer.”

Side Note:  I mentioned this to my ten year old daughter and she laughed at me.  Ha. Ha.  The joke is going to be on her when she doesn’t have any clean clothes and she is know as “The Stinky Kid” at school.  Boy, I can’t wait for that call from her teacher talking about my daughter’s aroma and personal hygiene issues.  That phone call will prove I’m a great parent.

Then show them how to properly clean the dishes in the sink.  Show them how to wash out that pot so all of the old oatmeal is gone.  Use the cleaning pad to get it clean.  If you are a camping family, you can even pretend you are on a camping trip.  Make some stations in your kitchen with three tubs:

  1. Wash Pot/Tub: Hot Water with a few drops of biodegradable soap.
  2. Rinse Tub: Hot/Warm Water (plain water)
  3. Sterilization Tub: Boiling Hot Water (use tongs) or cold water with one teaspoon of bleach added to two gallons of water.

I recommend to the Scouts that they soak/pre-wash as much as possible.  Example, if they have a dish that has a huge sauce build up, after they are done using that pot, fill it up with water and let that pot sit.  Scrub as much as that build up off as possible and dispose of in your food garbage pit or into the garbage.

Wouldn’t it be great if you taught this to your kid at home now instead of him having to learn it from some older scout?  Give your son or a leg up in society and teach them something as simple as cleaning a dish will be an invaluable skill for him later in life.  He won’t be the little dweeb that doesn’t know how to do anything at Scout Camp because his mommy loved him too much.  Don’t be that good parent be that awesome parent that teaches their kid something useful in life.

That’s all for today!  As always, your comments (hopefully sarcastic) are always welcome.