Kevin Hellriegel's Blog of Worthless Advice

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Tag Archives: psycho killer

Secret Confession

I like mindless action movies like every other guy.  The fists of fury, the explosions, the car crashes, the scantily clad woman actresses, and the endless corny jokes.  It’s all good stuff.

However, I have a secret…I enjoy the trashy drama movies on the LMN (Lifetime Network).  Only you and my imaginary stalker Cyndi now know.  Why would I like this stuff?  It’s a train wreck in every movie.  Lots of betrayal, murder, cheating, insecure relationships, drinking, poor judgment, stalking, death.  And that’s the first half hour of any Lifetime movie!

My biggest excitement is when the cheater’s lover ends up dead!  I know it’s coming and I can’t wait.  Sure, it is predictable (it’s a movie) but it is so fun to watch.

Basically, the moral of any Lifetime movie is….well, there is no moral.  Someone will end up dead and the killer is either a) spouse b) close friend c) stranger (oh big surprise) or d) the photographer.

Yes, every time a photographer is in the movie, he’s the killer.  That is a know movie law that is true like the law of gravity.  Oh, there is a photographer in the movie?  Yup, he is the psycho/killer/stalker.

Getting back to the moral of the story: don’t cheat.  You or your lover will end up dead usually killed by the photographer you hired to photograph your cat Mr. Mittens flocking in the daisies.  A bit of a bummer, isn’t it?

 

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